Wednesday, January 13, 2010

The Joys of Life: Part 7

Currently, the story has pretty much caught up to real time.
Previously on The Joys of Life:
Kirsten agrees to go to rehab...

Let me start by saying... I talked to a nurse friend of mine, and asked her about the drugs Kirsten said she was taking. She advised that I should not take them from her without a DR. supervising. It could send her into cardiac arrest. Otherwise, we would have just taken everything...

Want to know if your a serious drug addict:
If you have a large 2nd degree burn under your chin, and you have no idea how you got it...

I searched, for a couple of hours. Looking for a rehab program where she could detox safely. I would love to have the money to pay for a posh rehab... but alas, I don't. Finding a community service rehab was a bit of a challenge, but I did.

We were there bright and early Thursday morning. We saw an intake person. Thank God I went back with her. She was not ready to fess up to all the drugs she is taking. While she told my husband and I she was taking Xanax and Methadone, she told a different story to the intake person. She said she was taking Oxycontin. And that was it. So I asked (even though I already knew) if Oxycontin was the same thing as Xanax. Then she had to fess up about that. And they talked for a bit, and the lady asked if there was anything else... she said no... I said, "what about the methadone?" Then she had to fess up to that.

When they got the whole story, or most of it, about what she was on, and how much she was taking, they wanted to admit her, to a hospital, right then. She refused. They said there was an outpatient program that offered SUBOXONE, which is a drug to help you get off methadone, which, by the way, is the drug to help you get off heroin. It's looney, I know. Anyway, there is a program for that, but there is a waiting list. As much as 6 weeks.

She refused to go into the hospital. She wanted to wait for the outpatient. Which really means, she is not ready to quit yet. And that would give her 6 more weeks of being high. I DON'T THINK SO! A supervisor came in to talk to me. She told me to turn the house upside down, take all the drugs, and when she started to go through withdrawl, take her to the ER. They set an appointment for the following Monday morning.

My husband and I decided to take her drugs on Friday evening. That way we would both be home, all weekend, to deal with her. So on Friday, I dragged her ass to Wal-mart, with another friend of mine... even though I didn't need anything in particular. And while we were gone, hubby tossed her room.

We got home, and got all the kids to bed... not a word. When I inspected the stash, I was shocked at all the shit that she had. It was a God Damned pharmacy.

Bentyl (anti-spasmatic?)
Baclofen (anti-spasmatic)
Clonidine (for hypertension)
Xanax (for anxiety) There were none left, the bottle was empty. *Highly Addictive*
Flexeril (muscle relaxer) *Highly Addictive*
Methadone-Opiate (serious pain killer) *Highly Addictive*
Phenobarbital- Barbiturate (sedative/hypnotic) *Addictive*
Zoloft (anti-depressant)

Just to name a few of my favorites...
Some of the pills we have yet to identify. God only knows what they hell they are, but I intend to find out.
There were also a couple of empty 40 bottles in here room. (Big beer for you older folks.) Most, if not all, of the drugs she had, have a severe to lethal reaction when combined with alcohol. I'm telling you, the girls is lucky she's not dead.

Saturday came and went, without a word. Surely she knows her pills are gone. But she hid in her room most of the day. To my knowledge, she did not eat anything.

Sunday morning rolled around, and the signs began to show.
There was a knock on my bedroom door. I opened it and she was standing there. Calm as could be, like it was a reasonable request, she said "Can I please have my pills back now?" I opened the door wide and told her to come in. All the kids were sitting within earshot and I didn't want them to hear her.

She repeated her request and began to cry. She was in pain, she just wanted to eat. She can't sleep, she is miserable. When my husband told her we would not give them back, she begged for just 2, to get her through until her appointment on Monday.

~~~Let me state for the record, we had not destroyed the drugs yet. I planned to give them to the intake person at her appointment.~~~

When he refused, she went into hysterics, and said "Fuck you then, I'll just kill myself." Hubby snapped... He started screaming like I have not heard him scream in years. He sounded terrified and angry. He said somethings that he should not have said, and somethings that NEEDED to be said. Like how selfish she was... she is a mother, and how could she possibly do that to her son.
She was so upset, I almost couldn't understand her.... I just need two pills, why are you making me suffer like this, I just want to die...
He grabbed her by her arms and pushed her up against the door. I, of course, was trying to pull him off of her. He was screaming in her face, "Look at yourself... the only thing you care about is getting high. You don't give a shit about your son..." Let me tell ya, When my husband starts screaming like that, anyone would be terrified. She should have been terrified, but all she kept saying was she needed a dose.
I did manage to pull him off her, and take over the situation. I offered to take her to the ER. She refused. I told her the intake people told me to take the drugs, and I am not giving them back.

Now my husband should not have done what he did. But if you take into consideration, his big sister, who he has looked up to for all his life, was standing there telling him she was going to kill herself... I might have done the same thing in his shoes. On a side note... the kids heard everything.
I did tell him later that I was upset with the way he handled things. Mostly because that isn't what she needed. Yes, those things needed to be said to her. But she doesn't need to be held against a wall and screamed at. He did later calm down and say he didn't mean to do that, but he was scared for her.

So lets make a long story shorter, and bring everyone up to date.
I put 1 of each pill into a baggie and told hubby to destroy the rest. With the help of her mother, I took her to the ER... I dropped the baggie on the desk at triage, and we waited in a hallway for 11 hours. At 2 AM, when they came back to say we would probably have to wait another whole day for a bed for her, I told them she had an appointment in 7 hours, and I would take her there instead.

We went home, where I did not get any sleep, got the kids off to school. Went to her appointment, where we waited some more. The detox ward was full, but they may have some discharges today. We were to go home, and wait for a call from them. I was to watch her to make sure she didn't hurt herself, or take anything. Still no sleep...
I called in the late afternoon, and there was still no bed. Maybe tomorrow. I made dinner, and updated all the people concerned. Finally at 8pm, my husband took over the house duties, and I went to bed.

YESTERDAY... I called and called... still no bed, we'll call you if something changes. I called again at 3:30, and there was still no bed. So I asked them what am I supposed to do for her. She is miserable. She doesn't have the strength to get up and shower. I told them a friend of mine has a prescription for Valium, and they would give me one, if that's OK, but I wanted to ask you first? Their answer... "It's up to you."

When I told her what was going on, and that I would give her something to help her sleep, she said at this point she doesn't need detox anymore. She should just go straight into the Suboxone program. She was feeling bitchy, and I know she is mad at me. I told her we could talk to the DR about it. She still needs treatment. She still wants the drug.
When hubby got home, he showed me the pills our friend had sent over. I was hopeful they would get her through the night. So after dinner, I gave her a dose. She said thank you and tucked it into her pocket. Do you think she mentioned that my husband had already given her some? NO! I didn't know he had. I didn't find out until he shook the empty bottle at me. I told him I gave it to her, and he said "So did I"
So I went out and told her I didn't know he had given her some already, and that those were for the next 2 days. I asked her please not to take the others, save them for tomorrow. Stupid me, trying to trust an addict... I should have insisted she give them back.

Asshole, has been calling and calling. We have been blocking and intercepting... For days now, since we took her drugs, our ringers have been off. I had hubby shut off that cute thing with digital cable that shows you who is calling. My answering machine has been turned way down. So what does he do... He called my neighbor last night. Boo Hoo I can't get a hold of my family. I just want to talk to my son. I am about to have my brother drive me down there to take him.... I will bring the police if I have to. They can't stop me from taking my son. Well she called me immediately to tell me about it.

I walked across the street to the neighbors house to tell her about what was going on. I had not wanted to involve her in this, but I needed some advice. And she is the best person I could think of, as she is a police officer. She was happy to help when I told her what was going on. She told me what to do if he showed up last night. Well he didn't... so now I am waiting to get Kirsten in the hospital, and I will be driving to the court to get temporary custody. I am just praying Asshole doesn't go to the school to pick Brian up, because he has every right to. Which sucks, but that's the way it is.

When we got up this morning, she was laying on the couch watching TV. I soon found out that she had taken them all, and still didn't sleep. WTF? If you can take 3 seriously strong sleeping pills, and still not sleep, that's a problem.

So there we are... I am sitting here watching the phone to see if it rings, and writing my blog.
Wish me luck...


  1. With the way some of those rehab programs work, it's no wonder that addicts choose a doctor with a prescription pad over paying for or dealing with the red tape.

    I'm crossing your fingers that she'll be admitted soon and then hopefully you'll be able to restore some peace in your house. This must be hell on the kids.

    You are doing the right thing, please remember that! One day she will thank you and your husband for all you have done for her and her son.

    Good Luck and keep us posted!

  2. I'm speechless. all I can say is your husband may have lost it with his sister but the two of you are doing A LOT (to put it mildly). I honestly can NOT begin to imagine what you're going through.

    Good luck with getting her in rehab.

    Is Brian doing better since his dad is out of the house? poor, poor kid. Doesn't know how lucky he is to have you and your husband in his life!

  3. You guys are brave to basically do detox for someone that addicted. And try to take care of your family at the same time...amazing.


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