Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Hairy Bitch

The hair, it's getting out of control. Well, not really. I love it.

In case you didn't know, I chopped it all off, and dyed it pink, when I asked Douche for a divorce. I kept it short for a while after that. Took me two years to grow it out, but it's more than halfway down my back now, and I couldn't be happier.

Noooot the best picture of me, but it does show my hair. It's 4 colors in that photo, blonde, pink, red and black. Light to dark, it looked really cool.  I'm back to just red on top and black underneath now. I would post a picture if I had one, but I don't and I'm too lazy to take one.

Friday, August 1, 2014

Talk Me Down

I was fuming about the text messages. I tried to wait it out, but the more time went by, the madder I got.  So I wrote a letter, quite poetic if you ask me, to "the girlfriend".  I sat on it a couple of days, you know, in case I just needed to get it out. When I still didn't feel any better, I sent it.

July 25, 2014

Dear New girlfriend,

I'm addressing this to you, because I know you'll see it. And for the record, I was content in leaving well enough alone, until you decided to open old wounds. It was rude and spiteful. I'm dealing with my pain in my own way. It's not for you to try and poke a stick at.

It struck me as odd that you would text me. I've never met you in any form or fashion. I wondered how you would have gotten my number. I figured you got it from an email I sent to Bam. I could see him allowing you to read them. Open honest communication is an important part of any relationship. But if you did it without his knowledge...

I can't fathom Bam had anything to do with you texting me. I'd be shocked if he did. I like to think I knew him pretty well. He was never one to invite drama into his life. He likes things pretty peaceful. I don't see him wanting to bring a cat fight to his door.

And that is what those texts were designed to do. You were trying to goad me into a fight. Why else would you text me so out of the blue, knowing I hadn't contacted him in two months? Trust that I ain't that girl. If you want to get down and dirty with me, put on your big girl pants and do it face to face. Until then, you aren't even a blip on my radar.

What I don't understand is why. Is it that you like drama so you create it? Or are you feeling insecure about your relationship and lashed out at an easy target? Maybe you were fishing to see if he's contacted me back? If that was the case, the answer is no, he never contacted me back.

It would have been wise for you to leave me alone. But since we're already past the point of no return, I'll give you this advice; Don't tempt the fates. Resist the urge to let strife and angst into your relationship. If you want to keep the man you so eagerly claim, don't make waves. I know he's not coming back to me. I knew that months ago. But he's not going to tolerate too much bullshit, so tread carefully. And for God sake, leave me out of it. You don't know me. But think about the greatest love story you've ever heard of. What length might a person go to if fueled by that sort of love?

Dear (Bam)

I'm sorry to drop this drama in your inbox. I had to say my piece. You know I'm not one to hold my tongue, especially when I'm pressed. And it was just too much to text her.

As for you and I... I'm happy if you are happy. If you've found what you are looking for in your current girlfriend then I congratulate you. I never wanted anything more than for you to have a joyous life. I truly hope your heart has healed and you can or have found love. You deserve it. I still miss you. I will always love you. But I'm content in leaving well enough alone, if you are fulfilled.

Best wishes to you both.


And... The most amazing thing has happened... I laid it to rest. Thank you Jesus!!!