Monday, January 4, 2010

The Joys of Life: Part 2

This is a true story. Some names have been changed.
Previously on The Joys of Life:
My Sister in law, Kirsten, her boyfriend (who shall be known from here on out as Asshole) and their 8 year old son, Brian, became homeless, and came to live with us...

Oh where to begin? If I were an outsider looking in, I wouldn't believe my eyes.
They were not here 24 hours before the boy, Brian, assaulted 2 of my girls.
While I was at work the girl I watch in the afternoon came over to play. For some reason, and I didn't get the whole story, he punched her in the face giving her a bloody nose. AND THEN... when she tried to tell on him, he trapped her in a bedroom and started slamming her head against a wall. And what did his parents do about it? NOT A FUCKING THING! They are lucky I wasn't here to witness the goings on.

Also at some point during the day the kids were all playing outside. Brian hurt Itty Bit. Whether by accident, or on purpose, we will never know. They were up in the tree house at the time. When she tried to leave to tell someone, he trapped her into a corner and started screaming in her face, "I'm Sorry, I'm Sorry, I'm Sorry"

By the time I got my girls to bed that night, my oldest, DQ, was in tears, begging me to make them move out. She was scared that Brian was hurting the 2 younger girls, and his parents weren't doing anything about it. The children in the house had had enough, after day 1.

Asshole treats Kirsten like a second class citizen. He yells at her. Talks to her like she is stupid. The Kirsten I knew a couple of years ago would not have stood for that. But I am suspecting by this time he has her hooked on drugs, and convinced that she can not survive without him. Because she sits there and takes it. When he tells her to shut up, she does.

Asshole has 1 black tooth in the front of his mouth. And when I say 1 black tooth, I mean that is the only tooth he has. Kirsten is missing a couple of front teeth and the 2 she has left in the front look like they could fall out at any moment. The first thing I thought when I saw them was Meth Mouth. And the way he zooms around I am convinced that he is on chrystal meth.

Asshole sleeps until 2 in the afternoon, and only gets up when his kid gets home from school. It took me a while, but I figured out it's because he doesn't want anyone else telling his child what to do... including the childs mother. Because when Christmas break started he started getting up when Brian got up. And when Kirsten does something Brian doesn't like, he looks at his mother and says, "I'm telling Daddy on you." He wants candy and Mom won't let him, he goes and tells daddy on her. He wants to stay up past bedtime, and she says no, he tells daddy. Whatever it may be that the child doesn't want to do, he throws a fit about. And why does he go and tell daddy? Because daddy will immediately come and over rule mom. Give him what he wants and fuss at her for being so hard on him.

That is until Brian pisses the Asshole off. Then all hell breaks loose. My husband was standing in the living room one day when Brian did something to make the Asshole mad. He got up and threw down his coat and squared off with the boy like he was getting into a bar fight. Brian ran, in circles around my husband... and the Asshole chased him. When I heard about this I asked my husband why he didn't close line the man? He said he was just stunned that a grown man would act like that towards a little boy.

I don't know what kind of upbringing Asshole had. Apparently he is under the impression that women have no say on anything. We are here to serve the men, and do what we are told. Now dear readers, you know me.... I am a mouthy opinionated woman. And God help the man who tells me to shut up!
Asshole got a taste of my high self esteem one day and he did not like what he heard:
So he and Kirsten are arguing about something or another. I am just sitting on the couch trying to ignore them. Then he had to go and bring me into it. He asks "Do you have that problem with your husband, he has to argue with everything you say? blah blah blah" Basically he was saying it's a family thing. I ignored him. So he got cocky and said, "See, I can tell by the way your not saying anything, that I am right." Well you know me, mouthy woman that I am... I said "Well I didn't say anything because I was not trying to be nasty about it... But if you really have to know, We don't argue, because my word is final." He shook his head and said "Well than that's really sad". He walked away before I could finish saying what I meant. Hubby and I don't argue over dumb shit. My husband learned long ago, that I am not going to open my mouth to speak on a subject unless I know I am right. And I won't argue with anyone. If you can't agree to see my side of things, or even consider the possibility that I might be right, that's OK. Knowing I'm right is enough for me. My husband knows this. If we are talking about something, and he starts to argue, he actually says, "Oh, your probably right, your always right." And when I say argue, I mean a difference of opinion. Anymore, it has to be a life and death situation before we raise our voices.

One day, we were all milling around the kitchen and Brian mentioned something about "Remember that day when you chased Jeff (their last roommate) down the driveway and choked him?" He was speaking to his dad. Both Asshole and Kirsten got this look on their faces and tried to shush him, but the cat was out of the bag. My husband and I both heard it. Then I found out a couple of days later that Kirsten beat the fuck out of Jeff's girlfriend, the other roommate. Um... hello, this would have been good information to have BEFORE we let them move in. I already knew that Asshole had served time for assault on Kirsten's EX. I didn't realize until he told me the story of how he "Beat the fuck out of that nigger with a metal pipe" His words, not mine. But that was years ago. Them beating up their last roommates was no more than a month ago. This... is not good!

OK, OK. We agreed to give them a place to stay, so they can get back on their feet. We are in it now, and we have to deal with it. We weren't supposed to go get them, but we did. Out of the kindness of our hearts. Or stupidity, how ever you want to view it. My husband and I are trying, as best we can to manage the chaos. My girls are miserable. Brian is torturing them, and I can never catch him in the act. And when all 3 girls come tell me he is being a little shit, his response "nu uh. I didn't do that. They are lying." And it goes on and on... all day everyday.

Next time on The Joys of Life:
The search for jobs and Christmas vacation.


  1. Dude. You gotta take care of yours, girl. Kick them out. Do it! I know you can do it...What dickheads!

  2. I'm pretty speechless right about now. I would probably have to kick their asses out and say a prayer they survive. The boy would be my biggest sorrow but if it were mine kids vs another child that acted like that...... no choice. I feel for you and what your family is going through. Hopefully they'll get tired of living with you guys and decide to go elsewhere. WOW! Just wow!

  3. There's usually a reason why folks have worn out their welcome with everyone else. I think I'd have to throw them out. Unless you're prepared to supply intensive therapy for Brian and drug rehab for the grownups, they're beyond what you can do for them.

    Better that they move on than hurt your family.

  4. I know you told them they could stay and they have exhausted all their other places to go, but when your children are not comfortable in their own home it is probably time for them to go. No questions asked. I know you have not caught him in the act, but you probably have good intuition. You suspect drug use and they are abusing their own child! All bets are off. probably not a good idea to have them in the house! Good luck with this. I know they are family but you are not the help they need right now.

  5. Wow. Just wow. I mean, wow. First off, your hubs wasn't a part of his sister's life for apparently a while. And secondly, you need to take care of your children. They all need counseling. And rehab. DCFS might not be a bad thing either.

  6. Kick them out, kindness is great but some people don't understand the concept.


Thanks for taking the time to leave your comment here. I feel loved and adored. Sorry about the extra security, but I'm tired of getting emails from Anonymous users posting junk in my comments.