Tuesday, January 12, 2010

The Joys of Life: Part 5

This is a retelling of events that have already happened.

Previously on The Joys of Life:
Kirsten was confronted about stealing
& the Boy gets a reality check

My Husband was kind enough to go get him from the bus station at 11 pm that night. Even though he has to get up at 5am to go to work. They wanted me to do it, but hubby said "No way in hell is my wife driving around that part of town, that late at night!"

I got up the next morning, and went about my day. Brian opened more gifts, that his father brought back from Philly. The kids played. Asshole slept in. Because, you know, he didn't get in until just before midnight. He was tired, the poor dear. No one said a word about the conversation of the previous day.

Well at about 11 in the morning, Brian wanted to eat the cookies his father had brought back. His mother told him he couldn't have them right now, because we were getting ready to make lunch. She suggested that the kids could have some for snack. Well... this was NOT OK, as far as Brian was concerned. He threw a fit. It went on far longer than I would have tolerated. But eventually she told him to go to his room. He was in there for all of a minute, and he came back out.
"Mommy, I'm ready to come back out now."
"No" she said, "I will let you know when you can come back out."
I was proud of her. She stood her ground.
So he said "I'm telling Daddy to let me out then." In the same way a 5 year old would say to another 5 year old, 'I'm telling on you!" And why shouldn't he? It worked.
He went in that room, and woke his father, to let him out. And when they came out, Brian had this, justifiably, victorious look on his face. Kirsten said nothing. DQ, on the other hand, has no fear and spoke right up, "Brian, your mom said you had to stay in your room until she let you out." Well the Asshole took great offense to that. "You need to mind your own business. His Mom and I are here, and I said he could get out. I haven't seen my son in a couple of days. Jesus Christ."

That, dear readers, was my last straw. I WAS PISSED. In any normal situation, I would have blown my fucking top. But picture me here... Home alone, with 5 kids under 12, and 2 drug addicts. I knew I could take Kirsten. She is a shadow of her former self. But Asshole is another story. Lord knows if he is on PCP or some shit... zooming around my house like he is preparing for the end of the world. And I didn't want them to leave the house with Brian. That child deserves a stable life. And as far as I am concerned, my house is the closest he will come to that.

So I texted my husband: You really need to call me at lunch time. I need to talk to you. Then I went and washed dishes and shook from my anger. I was so mad I could barely contain myself. But I waited patiently for his call. When it didn't come, I went to check my email, and he had texted me back: I am trying to call, but no answer.
Asshole was on the phone. And he wouldn't click over. He knew it was my husband. We have caller ID, and call waiting for Christ sakes. Finally I got a text from my husband saying he had clicked over to ask if I could call him back. 30 Mins later, he had to call again and be ignored. He hung up and called again, and just let it ring until finally Asshole gave up and got off the phone.

By the time I talked to him, my husband was raging mad. I told him I wanted that Asshole out of my house. I explained to him what had happened, and told him I was not comfortable having him here. Well that was all my husband needed to hear. Because, as previously stated, My Word Is Final! We decided that Hubby should stay at work until the end of the day, and I would call him if I needed him. Hubby's best friend gets off work early, and would come to the house to hang out with me.

Later that afternoon, the kids were out riding their bikes. Asshole was outside with them, doing God only knows what. I had been out for a while... Trying to teach the girl I babysit how to ride without training wheels. Things were going fine I thought. Until DQ came in to talk to me. She wanted to into my bedroom, so I knew this was serious.

"Mom, you know how you told us, we can't ride our bikes on the street. We have to stay in the court right?" "Yeah" I said to her. "Well, Brian was riding out in the street. And when I told him 'My mom said we have to stay in the court' he said 'My dad said I don't have to listen to Aunt Missy." I sighed a big sigh. I put my hands on either side of her face and said "You trust me right?" She shook her head 'yes'. "Please trust that I will take care of this problem. I am sorry you guys are having to deal with all of this. Trust that I know what I am doing, and you will understand one day soon. For now, just leave Brian alone. If he does something to any of you guys, just come and tell me."

When my husband got home, we debated over the best way to do it. We only wanted him to go. And we didn't want anyone to get hurt. We fully expected we had a fight on our hands. I knew someone was going to jail, at the very least. By bedtime we had decided on a plan of action.

I was not going to spend another day in that house with that Asshole. He was walking around with this 'don't give a fuck' attitude, and a 'what are you going to do about it' tone in his voice. So the next morning, when the kids I watch got to my house, I packed them and my girls in the car, and went to my Mom's house. We hung out there for most of the day until the other kids' mother got home. Then I took all 4 of them over to her house to spend the night. Hubby and I had decided, our children were not going to witness what was about to happen. I was worried that they might get hurt. And it was one less thing to stress about if they were just gone.

His best friend met us back at our house. It was New Year's Eve. We decided to wait until they put Brian to bed. So we went and got some dinner. We came back, and the boys had a couple of shots. And we waited. The plan was to tell him what he had done, tell him he was no longer welcome, and give him money to catch a bus back to Philly. The 11pm bus. At least that was the plan. It was around 9:30 before we realized, they were letting Brian stay up to watch the ball drop. So we said fuck it, and called them into our bedroom.

My husband started out calmly. But as addicts do, they lied and denied everything. Hubby had heard enough, and he let loose on this dude:
"Aside from the misery you have caused my family... Aside from the amount of money you have cost me... The woman standing next to you, who you have been with for 12 years, who has given birth to your child, and should be worshiped for the queen she is . SHE is my Sister." (You should have seen the look on his face when my husband said she should be treated like a queen.) "YOU treat her like shit. You have taught her son to treat her like shit. In my house, we respect women. ALL women. And how dare you tell your son, in front of my little girls, that women are weaker."

Now my husband has had some anger management issues in the past. Which he got help for. He is, for the most part, a laid back guy now. But Asshole made the mistake of taking his kindness for a weakness. Besides the fact that he is 6'1", 215 lbs of muscle, when he gets angry, it's like The Hulk has been released. I was truly amazed that Asshole stood there and took everything my husband had to say. He tried to argue a bit, and talk his way out of some things, but for the most part he just stood there in shock.

It wasn't until my husband was finished and turned to me to ask if I had anything to add, that Asshole's anger began to show. When I had my say, I could tell that women just don't talk to him like that. But I calmly said what was on my mind. He had no problem trying to argue with me. So I put my hands up, shook my head and said "No, No. The problem is, you want to blame everyone else for your problems. Look at yourself. Look at your family. You are homeless, and unemployed with no money. But somehow it's someone elses fault. You need to start taking responsibility for your own life. You have a "wife" and child who you can not provide for. And as far as I can tell, you have no intention of providing for. No one else did this to you. You did this to yourself."
Oh my God. I thought he was going to jump across the room and choke me too. He was so mad. Fist clenched, jaw tight, and his face couldn't have been any redder.

By the time I was done, he had already missed the 11pm bus.

My husband finished with " You need to man the fuck up, and take care of your family. But you are not going to do it here. My wife has said I have to pay for your bus ticket back to Philly, and that's what I am going to do. The bus leaves at 8:30am, you need to be ready to get on it."

I could not believe it. The Asshole said "Let me go pack and say goodbye to the baby." Not even as much as a word in protest. He just left the room. My husband pulled his sister aside and said "I really hope that you will decide to stay." She burst into tears, and shook her head 'yes'.

It was too good to be true. Hubby agreed. After beating her ex with a metal pipe, and choking their last roommate... I was just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Waiting for him to come out of his room with a gun and shoot us all. But we didn't hear another peep from them.

Hubby's friend went home. We watched the ball drop, and hubby and I kissed. With the door locked and wedged, hubby posted up to play video games, until the sun came up. I laid fully dressed, shoes and all, on our bed and fell asleep.

The next morning, we woke them at 7am. Hubby told him we had to leave to catch a bus in 1 hour. He knocked on their door a couple of times. At 7:45 he still had not brought one bag out to go home. A little after 8 my husband blew his top. "I don't know what your trying to pull here. Maybe you think since you've fucked around so long, I will just wait until the afternoon bus, and you can hang around my house until then. I've got news for you. I don't give a shit that your gonna miss the 8:30 bus. You can sit and wait in the bus station. Don't make me call the cops to get you out of my house." At that point he got his ass in gear. Running around the house. Throwing his shit around. I guess he had to wait for the Meth to kick in or something.

My thought was that he wasn't going to leave. That maybe he actually knew the law. The one that basically states: If a person is a residence of a home, you have to give them a 30 day eviction notice.
But I guess not. Hubby took his butt to the bus station, bought a non-refundable bus ticket, and left him there, at around 9am.

~~~To be continued~~~

Next time on The Joys of Life:
Kirsten deals with separation
& we have to deal with her.


  1. It sounds like Kirsten tries to be a stable mom...I hope you guys shook Asshole permanently.

  2. It seems to keep improving as the story goes. I hope that the continuing story keeps getting better.

  3. Wow! What an improvement it must be to have him gone. I just hope he NEVER comes back. And bravo to your husband for sticking up for his sister and YOU!


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