DQ walked in the door the other day from school, and saw that I was wearing one of her shirts.
DQ: Um, why are you wearing my shirt?
Me: Oh, I was planning to paint in it.
DQ: You can't do that? Why would you do that?
Me: Where is my iPod, child?
Just the night before I caught her, AGAIN, with my iPod. I'd been looking for it for days. I was really missing my music while I worked on the mural. I thought maybe someone had swiped it out of my car. I should know better by now. Whenever it goes missing it turns out that she took it.
So when I found her with it, I took it back and stuck it on the charger in my room.
Fast forward 12 hours, when I am ready to do some work from home, and very much looking forward to blasting music from my new (to me) vintage JBL speakers. These suckers are bad ass. I got them for Mother's Day from my brother. And while the band In This Moment mostly sucks live, they are going to sound great pumping through these huge speakers.
Go into my room, over to my bedside table, and what's this? The iPod is gone again. This time I know I've not lost my mind. I know exactly what happened to it. And I'm beyond pissed.
Back to the conversation at hand--
Me: Where is my iPod, child?
DQ: What? Huh?
Me: My iPod. You took it off the charger in my room. It's not yours. GIVE IT BACK!
DQ: Oh. (As she pulls it out and hands it to me)
Me: Why did you take it again?
DQ: Cuz I do better in school with music.
Me: Bullshit! Why don't you be honest for once and say, 'I don't care about anyone but myself. So I do whatever the hell I want'? I'm tired of you taking things that don't belong to you. The next time you do I'm going to run through every piece of clothing you own and paint them.
DQ: (Laughs) You can't do that.
Me: The hell I can't. Test me and see what happens.
DQ: I won't have anything to wear to school!
Me: Sure you will. You can wear clothes with paint on them. I do it every day.
DQ: Why are you being so ridiculous? It's no big deal.
Me: It is a big deal. You are a thief. So listen close and actually hear me. I will paint every piece of clothing you own if you take anything that doesn't belong to you again! Got it?
And I meant every damn word. I'm prepared to take a roller and put a stripe on Every Thing!
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