Monday, March 4, 2013

The Rules of Life

Recently, while contemplating DQ's set of rules, I had an aha moment. Are you ready? Because I am about to impart on you a valuable piece of wisdom.

We All Need Rules.

Some of us need them less than others, but they are still posted for our consideration.

Some of DQ's rules are for her own safety, health and well being.
You may not access the internet without direct adult supervision.
You must shower every other day, AND wash your hair.
You may not watch violent or sexually explicit television.

These things kind of seem like common sense to me, but apparently she needs them laid out for her in black and white.

And when we stop to look at the world around us, we see that as adults, SOME of us need seemingly simple things explained to us, too.

The Bleach Bottle: Keep out of reach of children.
Why, as an adult, do you need to be told this? You couldn't figure out that children should not have access to a poisonous and corrosive chemical?

The Cup of Coffee: Caution HOT
Fuckin' DUH!!! If it were served at room temperature you'd be upset. Some people are never satisfied.

The 5 Gallon Paint Bucket: Drowning risk.
Admittedly, that would not have been my first thought. My twisted brain would not leave a bucket filled with anything where a child could knock it over and spill that shit all over my floor!

Machines: Moving parts. Keep body and clothing clear to avoid injury.
If you are so stupid that you decide to mess around with a running machine, maybe you deserve to loose a finger. When Douche lost the tip of his to a router, I felt sorry for him, but still told him he was a dumb ass.

Poisonous Substances: Harmful if swallowed.
Really? Were you considering eating the silicate packet that came with your shoes until you read that it would be unhealthy?

The Plastic Bag: Risk of suffocation
Is there anyone out there who thinks you can breathe while covering your air holes with a non-porous material?

We need to be told... how fast to drive our cars death machines, not to leave our tampons in more than 8 hours, how to safely operate our lawn mowers, not to drink while taking sedatives, that an erection lasting more than 4 hours is dangerous, that some TV programs may not be suitable for our children, not to bring our guns into a courthouse... Shall I continue? (scrolls up to see how long post is.)

I think you get my point. Wait! What was my point again? I got off to rambling again. Oh yes, We all need rules. Because apparently we are all morons!

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