Wednesday, March 20, 2013

More POF Fun

Morbid curiosity led to me switching up my search criteria. I went on POF as a male looking for a female between 34 and 44. If you're ever feeling low, I highly recommend this. My self-esteem went through the roof.

First glance is the profile pictures. To our cores, we are all visual people. We want to see what people look like. And the options for the men in my age group aren't very pleasant. Aside from big or small and other things we have no immediate control over.... Well, I lean towards thinking that if you're extremely overweight, you probably don't have much self esteem. But I can look past that.

You've got the women with a ton of make-up and those with none. Some look like drag queens. Some have had so much plastic surgery it's comical. You've got the ones with huge fake boobs. I feel sorry for them. That was a trend in the 90's that's fallen out of favor. Unfortunately, they are stuck with those silicone bags. The girls who can't be bothered to put a bra on who haven't had a boob job. At our age ladies, it's sad. I'd say less than 10% are normal good lookin ladies.

Past the first profile images are the headlines:
Don't try and run game on me.
Rescue me
Do I crank your tractor?
Looking for the BASS of my dreams

Lets move on. Again, reading profiles is hilarious. There are numerous girls stating they are not looking for intimate encounters. They are good Christian woman and want to be respected. But when you look at their other photos, they tell a different story. Back to the camera, hands on a wall, poppin' their ass out, looking over their shoulder. Trying for the sex kitten look. Oh yeah! Nothing screams self respect like “Check out my ass”

Some are very jaded. I suppose they've been on POF too long and run across some real assholes. But really girls? You knew you would be dealing with a wide pool of men. Many of which are dogs. What else did you expect? They go on and on about the things they won't tolerate. And if you are blah blah blah, move on. What they are really doing is telling the potential good guy: high maintenance, and bitchy.

I'm baffled that they can't weed through the crap and ignore it. They respond to the bad apples in their profiles, turning everyone else off in the process. Guys want to read about you. The things you like to do, and what makes you happy. What you are generally looking for. They don't want to read about all the bad experiences you've had with other POFers.

I especially liked the one where the lady says she loves to cook and clean. “That's right guys, I love being domestic and taking care of my man” or some such shit. What I read is desperate.

I should be a profile and/or lifestyle coach. These women have no clue, and then wonder why they can't get a date.

On the other hand, I'm debating how sad it makes me, that I am lumped in there with them, seeking a date. Something to ponder. But not now... I've got messages to check and cute boys to look at.

Here's my profile. What can you read between the lines?

I am the good kind of crazy. Moderately tattooed, mildly pierced, mother of two. I'm an artistic painter by day and for my hobby. Music is the background to my life. The last 3 show I went to were, Halestorm, Framing Hanley and 100 Monkeys. I'm looking forward to seeing Volbeat at the Luau.

I have a raunchy sense of humor, which I usually keep to myself, unless I know you well. I am loud, open and very social. I like to go out with friends for drinks or coffee. I love movies, but hate slapstick. I also enjoy comedy shows. I think Bill Maher is a genius. Ricky Gervais makes me laugh til I cry.

Music interests vary depending on my mood. I stray more towards hard rock. Godsmack, 5FDP, Disturbed, and Pantera top my list. I'm recently in love with Volbeat and Halestorm. When I'm cleaning, you might catch me dancing around to hip hop. On a rare occasion I'll indulge my youngest in her love for country and girl bands. I dig going out to see live local bands.

I'm allergic to the sun, so I can't do the "outdoorsy" thing with you. Don't let that stop you from doing it without me. In fact, I feel like a good relationship involves doing somethings without your mate. It's important to me that you have other friends and interests.

I am currently in the application process for the Ches. Police Dept. This is my plan for the future. If you're into getting high on the weekend, I'm not the one for you!

Yes, I am separated, with absolutely no chance of reconcile. We've been separated for more than 3 years. I have custody of my 2 girls, and they are my priority. But I do have some time to invest in a good relationship. I would love to find “the one”. Someone to take on the world with. Someone to grow old with. I have a lot of love and passion for the right man.


When I sing, I sound like someone is killing a cow. I don't care, I do it anyway.

There is more coffee in my veins than blood.

Clutter makes me insane!

I am the most coordinated, rhythmic, white girl you'll ever meet... on the dance floor. Otherwise I'm a klutz.

POF makes me think Pound of Flesh. Is that just me?

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