Wednesday, April 15, 2009

We Survived...Barely

Next time I decide I want to go visit somewhere 1200 miles away, remind me I wanted to fly. And if I am still hell bent on driving, someone remind me, to make sure I get a car with cruise control
Why in the hell do they make PT Cruisers without cruise control? Does that seem off to anyone else? And why, as a rental car company, would you have one without cruise control in your fleet? You know we rent your cars for road trips, so we don't have to put the wear and tear on ours. What the hell is the matter with you people? My toes are still stuck, pointing up, at a nearly 90 degree angle.
When it comes to traffic in other areas of the country, I follow this: "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" This is the best way to avoid a ticket. This, however, does not apply to the state of Tennessee. Because for the entire, longways length, of that leg of the trip, no one actually drove the speed limit. Except for me. They all did 5-10 mph UNDER! The only exception was Memphis, which was a hoppin little city. They all had places to be.
Did you know that the Arkansas moto is "Arkansas, the Natural State"? You didn't? Well that's OK, because I am officially changing it to "Arkansas, Road Kill Capital of the Country" I shit you not, there were more dead things on the road there, than I have seen in all my past road trips combined.
I have also figured out what the raised bumpy strips on each side of the road are for. Yeah, I used to think they were to let half asleep travelers know they were going off the road, too. But really they are for cleaning the road kill off your tires.
If you live in a town that advertises "Revivals" on a billboard, your might be a redneck. And that's how I knew I was entering the DEEP south. Scary.
OK, my girls were fascinated at all the sights. Lots of cows, horses, and even a Llama farm. We all got a good laugh out of the ones. We saw a truck full of cows too. None of us had ever seen a real live crop duster in action, until this trip. I couldn't figure out for the life of me, why that little plane was flying so low to the interstate, until I saw shit shooting out the back of it.
I have decided we will take our time going home. I am going to split the trip in half. We are going to stop and see some things. Like Memphis. I used to live there when I was a little girl. My biological mother used to DJ at the little radio station next to Sun Records. I thought they might get a kick out of that town. Then since they both were so fascinated by the mountains and the views, I thought we could stop at Skyline Drive. Maybe take some pictures with the Blue Ridge Mountains as a back drop. We also didn't pick up any souvenirs on the way out here. DQ would really like a new cowboy hat. Me too for that matter.
Well, I think that is about it for my adventures today. I probably won't post again this week. Except for Friday... Foxy Friday. I will also announce the Giveaway winner on Friday. Catch you guys later.
From the road.


  1. "But really they are for cleaning the road kill off your tires." OMG LOL!

    Enjoyed your post! I live in the North West and have never driven in the south. I have never seen a truck of live Turkeys just chicken. Now I know why in the DMV handbook only thing allowed to come off on the road is feathers off live chickens. lol {like a snow storm running down the road}

  2. I hope you guys are enjoying your trip! I honestly had to snicker through most of this post. Growing up in Oklahoma & now living in Kansas-those are all every day occurences. I always love hearing other people talk about what it's like to them. And the 5-10pmh under? Yeah. *Everyone* does that here in Kansas, not just the old farts. And if you dare to pass on a 2 lane? If looks could kill... Enjoy the rest of your trip!

  3. I did so enjoy your description of your trip. I grew up in Arkansas and your observations are right on! What a great learning experience for the girls. Do take your time going back and taking in all the sights!! And don't forget that cowboy hat!!

  4. Girl, your posting made me cackle many times. I am glad you and the girls made it to your destination safely. It sounds like (despite what you listed) you and the girls are having a good time to want to visit places on the way back home. Have a great visit!

  5. No cruise??? You're going to have a very toned right leg after this trip.

    While you're shopping for souvinirs, don't forget to look for those tacky Roadkill Cafe T-shirts.

    Have a great week!

  6. This is too funny! I remember how weird I thought a llama farm was in the south. Don't know if I would find it less funny in the north :).

    Always wanted to go to Memphis, have a blast and enjoy yourselves!
    And be careful.

  7. I'm new here and you are not giving me much to look forward to when we drive from Jersey to Florida this summer! ah!

    I hope you are having a good time! Love your blog!


Thanks for taking the time to leave your comment here. I feel loved and adored. Sorry about the extra security, but I'm tired of getting emails from Anonymous users posting junk in my comments.