Random Tuesday, The Road Trip Edition

Well, here we are again, another Tuesday. Time to bask in our randomness. If you want to participate, you can head on over to The Un Mom and link up there.

Alright, some of you know, but for those who are sitting in the back of the class goofing off, I will catch you up. I decided (yes I should be smacked for my stupidity) to take my 2 children on a road trip for spring break. We went from the south east coast of Virginia, where we live, to the Arkansas/OK boarder. That is 20 hours of driving, not including stops, each way! Now that we all understand my level of stupidity, let me begin...

WHAT WAS I THINKING?

DQ and Itty Bit fight, non stop, and argue about everything. Why did I think threatening them with turning around and going home would make a difference in their behavior in the car? Portable DVD players are great, if in fact your children can agree on a movie to watch. I didn't have that type of child in my car.

Itty Bit HATES public restrooms. Even at the tender age of 5, she knows they are dirty and smelly and loud. Poor thing only has 2 hands. It's kind of funny to see her try to plug her nose and cover her ears at the same time. Why didn't I consider this before I decided to go?

Speaking of public restrooms... Ladies, if we all work together, our bathrooms would not be so yucky. I mean really, you don't think that lazy ass attendant at the gas station counter is going to do his job do you?

I think there is a limit to how much McDonald's a person can consume in their lifetime. I am pretty sure, after this trip, I have reached my threshold. Please, don't make me eat McDonald's again...EVER!

I am, really, getting to old for this shit! I didn't think I was, but really, I don't like driving for that long. There used to be a time when I could take a 15 hour drive up to MI for a weekend, no worries. That is not the case now. I get tired and bored, and would rather find a bar and have a beer!

LISTEN UP FELLOW TRAVELERS

On an interstate, with only 2 lanes to travel in, Drive on the Right...Pass on the Left!!! The government has spent tons of tax dollars putting up signs that say "Slower Traffic Keep Right"....Listen to them! Being scared of falling off the side of the mountain, is not a good enough reason to do 5 under the speed limit in the fast lane. If you still feel you MUST travel like that, for the love of all things good, when you see me coming up behind you, like a bat out of hell, move the fuck over. I'll be past you in just a second, then you can move you pookie ass back to the fast lane.

If you don't know how to drive a massive RV, why did you buy one? Hey don't get me wrong, I don't think I could drive one either...That's why I didn't buy one! News flash...they are big. This is not your little Volvo. If you don't think you could drive an 18 wheel big rig, you probably can't drive that RV either!

Truckers, you do this for a living...you should know when your tired it's time to pull over and sleep. I am nearly positive the receiver would rather you be late, than have the load lost in the middle of the interstate. And it's a real pain in the ass being stuck behind a double truck laying on it's side across the entire road.

Lovely citizens of TN: Where I live, we have discovered safety in numbers applies to the interstate. We all drive real fast, because they can't pull us all over! You should try it. All of you!

Hey, don't forget to check out the late Foxy Friday post
OK, I think that will about do it. You may return to your regularly scheduled life now.