Tuesday, November 3, 2015

Winds of Change

I'm getting used to being told how awesome, amazing, sexy, incredible, beautiful and cool I am.
Three months in, and yes, I'm still waiting for the other shoe to drop, but I'm starting to wonder if I'm holding my breath for nothing. 

I've learned the hard way, if something is too good to be true...well you know. Except for when it's not. Is it foolish of me to be leaning towards true?

Mr. Security and I always have fun together. We're always happy. We play at arguing over who gets to do the dishes. He insists, if I cook, he should clean up. Seriously? If that's the biggest disagreement we have, I'll take it!!!

The other day we were at his place for his birthday dinner. I jumped in the shower before we ate, because I was still funky from work. When I got out, everyones mood had soured. 

Apparently the downstairs neighbors had a huge screaming match. It upset Mr. Security because our kids were there. He texts both of them to ask that they stop. He got a big fat 'fuck off.' When things calmed down, he apologized to Itty Bit. Saying he was sorry she had to hear that. She shrugged and said, "It's ok. My dad and his girlfriend do that all the time." That statement made him incredibly sad.

Later, as we drove home, Itty Bit asked why he was so upset. I simply told her that Mr. Security doesn't like conflict. He's a lot like Mom, and I think that's why we get along so well. Neither of us see much in this world worth screaming at your loved ones over. She was confused. "You guys don't fight?" 
 "No." I said. 
"Well don't you disagree about things?"
"On a rare occasion. Mostly about who does the dishes. But having a disagreement isn't about winning or losing. It's about coming to a compromise."
"It weirds me out that you guys don't fight. It doesn't seem normal."
"We may have a disagreement in the future, but there won't be any yelling or cursing at each other. Like I said, it's about compromise."

She thought about that for a moment. "It's not about winning or losing, it's about solving the problem." she finally decided.

Later, Mr. Security and I discussed Itty Bits reaction to the fighting. I was taken back by how upset he was. That Itty Bit had to hear it. But more about her shrugged shoulders and whatever attitude. "It's sad that she sees that as normal and OK."

It is, Mr. Security. But you are well on your way to showing her it doesn't have to be.

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