Random Goodies

Again, with my favorite format, random thoughts. Because... my brain, bitches.

There is a crazy cashier at the my grocery store. She talks to everyone, and has no filter. I'd love her, except I think she may actually be psychotic. 
The other day I was checking out and we got to talking about being a girl. That led to the topic of fake finger nails, and how they're a pain in the ass.
Me: I can't do anything with them on. They get in the way.
Cashier: Have you seen these girls with the super long ones. You know, they start to curl they're so long?
Me: I know right?
Cashier: I mean, how do they wipe their ass with those things?
At that point I crack up laughing and she high-fives me.

During that same shopping trip, I saw my friend David. He's a photographer and did the girls' pictures last year. We haven't seen each other in a while.
I was telling him about the new boyfriend and how I'd like to invite him over for dinner soon. He says, "Oh, are you allowed to have friends again?"
Yeah, I've dated some real assholes in the past.

We were brave and went to Walmart over the weekend. Strictly because we couldn't find what we were looking for elsewhere. While there, some girls commented on Mr. Security.
Girl one: Dem boots.
Girl two: Dat ass tho.
"Dem" boots are sexy and "Dat" ass is mine.
Yeah, my boyfriend is hot, and his ass in a pair of jeans? Phew, dat ass!

I bought my first Christmas gift over the weekend. Nothing big, just something I saw that Itty Bit would like. I'm pretty sure I'm going to cave and get her a laptop. She won't be getting much else, but a few little things won't hurt. 

I'm fighting the time change. Still. Trying and failing to stay up late, so I'll sleep lateeeerrr. I am not winning this fight. 4 am and I are not getting along well these days.