I love my husband every minute of every day. Even when he is getting on my nerves. But some days, I feel overwhelmed by it. Some days I feel so lucky. Some days I feel like I don't deserve him.
What was it that I texted him the other day... "All that I'm after is a life full of laughter as long as I'm laughing with you" He was a little confused, but I explained it to him. A line from a song that was playing on the radio that made me think of him.
Sometimes I don't think he understands that the best gifts he gives me don't cost a penny. You see I am an artist. Which, by definition, means I am a little crazy. Probably, in my case, it means I am a lot crazy. But he is very patient with me.
When I get in a compulsive mood, I simply must do whatever it is that has demanded my attention. I can't think about anything else. And when other, absolute, needs arise, such as a daily chore, I have a crushing suffocating feeling, until I can get back to my current compulsion.
I paint, though not often anymore.
I tattoo, again, not as much as I used to.
I must always be creating something with my hands. Usually it's not a devouring thing. Most times I break away easily to move on to other things throughout the day. But I ALWAYS have something going.
My compulsions are not limited to creating. For example, reading. If I pick up a book, and it's even mildly interesting, I must finish it. It's as if my life depends on it. And if the book happens to be part of a series, the world may very well be shut out for weeks.
At least once a year, my husband becomes a single parent while I read Janet Evanovich. It never takes more than 2 days of reading to come out of the tunnel. But while I am there, He takes on the world. Creates a shield around me so that I am not disturbed.
Then there are the days, when I feel like doing absolutely nothing. He has come home to find me laying in our bed, watching TV... the house in a totally chaotic state. And I am honest with him... I tell him "I just didn't feel like doing anything today." To which he says something like "Your fine babe. Relax and enjoy watching TV."
The best gift my husband gives me is time. Time to do whatever it is that has consumed me.
Some days I feel spoiled.
And did I mention he is hot?
And he loves me... Sometimes I don't know how I got so lucky.