Tuesday, October 20, 2015

This Heart of Mine

I'm a little insane. But is it all bad if you're not the only one?

It's nuts, right? To see someone almost everyday, and then miss them as soon as they're gone? To think about them while you're standing on a ladder, paint brush in hand, when you just left them a few hours ago?  It feels nuts to me. Selfish...maybe a little stalkery? 

I'm not that girl though. I've never been that female who depends on the man to make her whole. I've long been the one who can take it or leave it. My identity is not wrapped up in the person I'm dating. I even loath girls who act like this. Who want to know what he's doing every minute of every day. You know the ones... Their license plate reads "So-in-so's girl"

So this whole situation feels ... a little nuts. And why do I think about Mr. Security all the time? I almost want to smack myself in the face, "Get it together, girl!"

Consuming, overwhelming, scary, all to the point of  "You're being psycho, chill the fuck out!"

But it seems I'm not alone. Does that make it okay if the feeling is mutual? I feel better when he texts, "I know this is crazy, but I miss you already." Yeah, not crazy, baby. I'm right there with ya.

He said something to me the other day.... "As amazing as this is, I have a feeling it's just getting started. It's only going to get better with time." 

Yes, my love. We're going to have a great adventure. And I'm really looking forward to it.

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