I'm a Chat Goober

I'm going to be sneaky and post this on a Sat. This way you guys can't say I didn't tell ya. But if you're paying attention, it'll help the story along.

About six months after I kicked The Douche out, I started getting lonely. I was so exhausted from working a labor intensive job, I didn't have time to go out and make new friends. I didn't even have the energy to meet up with the few friends I had left.

Enter the chat scene.

I hopped around for a few days until I found a local yahoo chat that I liked. The people were mostly snarky and quick witted, meaning I fit right in.  I made some chat friends and now and then we got together for a chat gathering. I felt like a super chat dork, but whatever. I wasn't as lonely.

Skip ahead six month, to this past summer. That evening found me bitchin' and moaning about work. I'd been refinishing cabinets all day. I'd been at floor level where the terrain was an unforgiving natural stone tile. My knees hurt.

This didn't garner much attention from the group, because I'm always bitchin' about something. There was one exception. A loud mouth we'll call Bam. He, of course, commented something along the lines of  'If you didn't give head all day blah blah blah.' And I, of course, thought he was another uncreative sex pest. I mean really? That joke is so obvious it isn't even worth typing. But boy did he think it was clever.

Turns out he was right. After I properly bitched him out for being an unimaginative, immature ass, I actually talked to him. Well he apologized first, of course! No, that line wasn't very creative but it did get my attention. And then, my sass got his. I think we were up past midnight "chatting". Just a get to know ya kind of thing.

And when he wasn't trying to show off, he was clever and cute. I was NOT looking for a boyfriend, or even a date. I was hanging out with my chat friends being a chat goober. But after a couple nights of chat marathons with Bam, we decided to go out. Coffee and a movie. In a public place, Glock on hip. (I'm not stupid. I've heard the stories.)

When I pulled up he was patiently waiting on me in his pretty blue Beemer. As I walked over to the car, I was greeted by a pretty boy with a pretty face splitting grin. Instantly I was transported to some strange universe where I feel like a giddy dumb girl. Notice I said "feel"? I didn't act like it, of course.

The movie sucked. He laughed at me when I jumped. He did not try to kidnap me. I did not shoot him. In my book that was success.

A couple days later, we walked the boardwalk art show. Come to find out, he hadn't dated seriously in over 2 years. Bad break-up yada yada. And I of course had not dated since, oh god, 2001, when I met The Douche. We were both nervous, being out of practice and all. We were both "giddy" with the possibilities.

Couple days after that, I watched him skate, (Yes! Like on a board) the local... um what do you call that thing... Half Pipe? Bam rocked the $300 shades and his DC shoes on an old beat up board. It was cute.

And hey, did I mention Bam if fuckin' hot? No? Well he totally is. I know, now I sound like a giddy dumb girl. But it's true. At one point, when he had his shirt off, and I could see his nice chest and perfect sexy "V", I told him "You're so pretty." He looked at me like I was nuts. I am nothing if not honest. Or is it blunt?

Anywho...I've dragged Bam into my crazy life and we've been together since. Well except those two times when I went mental and needed my space. He says I'm beautiful and I believe him. I catch him staring at me with love sick puppy eyes. Even when I'm in last nights makeup with my hair in a nest on top of my head. All he's asked of me is that I stop breaking up with him when I need my space. Just to tell him what I need and he'll make it happen.

Now... Before anyone gets on their soap box about all this, let me make some things clear. I waited a whole year before I even considered dating anyone. While Bam has done some family things with us, I've made it clear to the girls that his is my friend and only wants to he their friend. He has no intention of replacing Douche, er, Dad. And more often than not, the amount of time Bam and I actually spend together is seriously hampered. When Itty Bit is away at her dads and DQ is spending the night with someone, I am at Bam's. On a rare occasion, we'll go do something after I get my girls to bed. Mostly we are reduced to talking on the phone and chatting on the internet

So there you have it.  A little bit of happy in my current state of hell.