Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Legend of The Falls. From a High Horse

Hey ya'll. I love and adore the following guest poster. So please give her your undivided attention. Or I may have to hurt you. -Missy

Hi, I’m Heather and I write a blog called Queen of Shake Shake. Missy was kind enough to ask me to guest post on her blog, and ever since I’ve made it my mission in life to discover what she’s smoking that makes you lose all sense and throw all caution to the wind. I want some of that. What I’m trying to tell you is that Missy’s crazy and I’m going to enable her by posting here.

Today I want to tell you about a particular morning when I planned to ride a high horse, and, unfortunately, how the horse threw me and bit me in the ass.

On that morning, I sat upon a dazzling saddle of superiority. The rhinestones on this thing would blind you for life. There I sat, reflecting on a post I wrote two years ago that caused a falling out between me and a friend over something as ridiculous as my child reading non-fiction instead of fiction books.

I know. Crazy people are everywhere, so look closely at your friends. If a child loves to read, WHO CARES if he prefers non-fiction over fiction. Apparently the argument against supporting my son’s non-fiction preference had to do with the future - an educational future where kids are required to do book reports on fiction books.

To that I said again WHO CARES. We'll cross that bridge when we get to it. And this is where the high horse trotted into the scene, all dolled up and ready for me to ride. Because I totally crossed that bridge. When my son, Payton, had his first book report due, he was given free reign to choose a book and he picked a Charlie Brown book – a FICTION book.

So there I was, sitting atop that high horse and mentally crafting a blog post with words like "boo-yah" and "neener neener" in it. (I pride myself on my maturity.)

But then the high horse threw me off and bit me in the ass!

It was time to get the boys dressed for school that morning and a little cold front had moved through our area overnight, leaving behind temperatures in the low 60's with lots of chilly wind.

While I know certain Canadians are probably thinking oh boy, SUMMER! down here along the Southern coast, that's winter weather, so we pull out the pants and long sleeve shirts.

But oh, not me. I didn’t do something as innocent as to take brand new pants and fall shirts from his closet. Instead, I asked Payton eat shit and die. Or so you would think by his reaction.

Normally I would have kept with my WHO CARES maternal attitude, and let him wear shorts and experience that fine thing called natural consequences. While Payton busied himself with his shorts, I would be in the barn, contemplating those natural consequences while polishing up my high-horse saddle even more, because tomorrow he would SO wear goddamn pants without throwing a fit.

For whatever reasons that day, I didn't take my normal approach. I felt this crazy, power-hungry, authority-respecting monster take over my body and found myself insisting Payton wear pants. He insisted he wear shorts. He and I stared each other down until we launched into a battle of wills that will go down in history.

History will say I won but it didn't feel like a victory.

I just want the kid to change seasonal clothes without a fight. From the time Payton was 18 months old, he didn't wear anything he didn't want to wear. If I tried to approach him with anything other than soft, 100% cotton, elastic-waisted clothes and collarless shirts, Lucifer himself possessed his body. He’d scream like a banshee and writhe on the floor; spittle would fly from his mouth and from his ass would shoot volcanic flames of damnation bent on devouring evil, sinful souls who believe in button chinos.

Or take jeans, for instance. Payton refused to wear jeans since until three weeks ago. He tried on a pair in a store, gave his stamp of approval, and assured me YES! He would wear them. Then he threw a shit fit a week later when I asked him to wear them to a public function. That crazy, power-hungry, authority-respecting monster reared up then too because I insisted he wear those jeans. He acted like an asshole until he could take them off.

Honestly, who’s the crazy one? Payton for being so stubborn about his clothes or me being so stubborn about what he should and shouldn't wear.

It turns out I wasn’t crazy the morning of that cold front. I was only hormonal.

As I took the boys to school that day, listening to Payton grumble the entire way about those pants I forced him to wear, I spent the carpool drive thinking hot damn am I glad to be taking you to school today!

And then I started my period.

Within a nanosecond my jeans that fit before no longer did. They were suddenly so tight and so uncomfortable I couldn’t bear it. I change into a pair of soft, 100% cotton, elastic-waist pants as soon as I got home.

That, reader, is how a high horse bucks you off. Most people call it irony, but really, I think God just hates me.

Thanks again to Heather, Queen of Shake Shake, for indulging my insanity. Check her out, if you haven't already.

And don't forget, the celebration of 100 Followers continues with The Giveaway. If you haven't entered yet, go and do it. You won't be disappointed.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

RTT Giveaway Edition

It's that time again. Time for Random Tuesday Thoughts. I wonder how Keely is feeling about the new ZOMBIE movie coming out? You should click on over to her blog, The Un-Mom, and find out!

The Un Mom

Itty Bit is still sick. She has had a fever of 103 for 5 days!!! With no other symptoms!!! I took her to the Doctor yesterday. They are just as stumped as I am. No strep, no pneumonia, no URI, no UTI, no ear infection... Just this damn fever. She is so upset because she is missing school.

While I was out on the porch having a smoke this morning, a fox came trotting across the lawn. Now to some of you this is not strange... But I don't live in the country. I live in a densely populated area. Granted my neighborhood is very old, with tons of trees, but still, a fox? Not that I have a problem with him. He can stay for all I care, I just thought it was weird.

Do you guys see this "Book Thong" graphic?


The person who makes the lovely book thongs can't seem to see her graphic on my blog. I am wondering if it's her computer, or my lack of HTML skillz? So can you take a quick look at my sidebar and tell me if you see it there? Thanks so much...

I got 8 whole solid hours of sleep last night!!! I never get 8 hours. More often than not it's 5, maybe 6. I am beside myself. I think taking care of Itty bit the last couple of days has just worn me out.

Have you heard? I reached my goal of 100 followers! Because you guys are awesome! In celebration of this achievement, I am partying all week. Including a guest post from the person responsible for all the madness, otherwise known as my blog. I stumbled across her blog back in Jan. I fell in love with ranting and raving on the internet because of her, and the next day I started my own little blog. The rest, as they say, is history. She will be posting tomorrow, so look for it. If you can't wait that long, go visit her blog. The Queen Of Shake Shake.

Also in celebration of reaching my goal, I am doing a mega giveaway. Lots of prizes. You should GO ENTER IT!

I love all the shops you guys are recommending in the giveaway post. I am visiting each and every one of them. But I am not commenting on them in the post, because I don't want my comments to interfere with the random comment picker!

Monday, September 28, 2009

Monday, Monday, Monday

Monday, oh Monday... Oh how I love thee Monday. Sexy Papa goes back to work. The girls go back to school. And I have my house back. I always have tons to do on Monday, but it's OK. I enjoy the peace.
Oh I adore Monday... except today I have a sick baby home. She has had a fever since Thursday, and frankly, I am starting to get a little worried about it.
Oh the bright side, it's Itty Bit that is sick, and she is an angel under any circumstance.

Listen up people... I have something important to tell you. To continue the celebration of achieving 100 followers... My blog hero, Heather, is going to be guest posting this week. If you have never read her, you really should. Talk about so funny you pee your pants. She uses the word "fuck" freely, so if that offends you... um what are you doing here? Anyway, go see what she is up to: Queen of Shake Shake

OK, what else, Oh I will be posting another installment on The Real World: Venus vs. Mars late this week. I thought it was Thursday, but might be Friday. Did I mention I have Mommy brain?

I got an award this weekend from Facts from a Fact Woman,
But I have so much on my plate this week, with the sick kid, the giveaway, the other blog I contribute to, I just don't have the get up and go for it right now. So yeah, maybe I am being lazy, but I am only 1 person, with a split personality, so don't hate. No but really, I want to thank her. She is awesome too. So go check her out.

OH MY GOD, how could I forget? Did you see my entry about The Giveaway starting? Seriously people, go check it out. Super easy to enter.

Alrighty, that is all I have in me for now. I'll catch you guys later.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

So freaking funny

What makes Missy laugh so hard she nearly pees her pants....

Seriously guys, tears streaming. Really made my day!

Hey, did you enter my giveaway yet? No? Why the hell not?


Friday, September 25, 2009

And What Do We Have Here?

Well I do believe I see 100 Followers. I do, I do.


Do you know what that mean? Yep it's time to kick off this mega giveaway.

Real quick, let me say, I adore my followers. I appreciate each and every one of you. So this is my way of saying Thanks!

Now for the rules...
I would love nothing more than for to replace eHell, FeeBay, um eBay. In recent years, eBay has been making money hand over fist, while small sellers get screwed. Etsy sets out to change that.

Etsy sellers offer 3 things: Handmade items. Supplies. And vintage items. No mass market, bought it from China, crap!

Enter the giveaway:
1. Go to
2. Find a shop that you like
3. Come back here and paste the URL to that shop in the comments to this post.
4. Tell us all why we should go check out that shop.

Pretty simple huh? It would be really nice of you to "follow" me (if you don't already) or any of the other contributors with blogs. But you don't have to. Because it's more important, to me, that I get the word out about Etsy.

For my part, I picked a handful of new Etsy Shopkeepers to showcase on my blog. Each has been kind enough to donate an item to the giveaway. Clicking on each photo will take you to their shop. If you can, Please support them. Remember the Holidays are coming.

So here we go...

Hats Out Loud Jester Hat


5X7 Candy Factory Print (your choice)


Headband from DanaBanDs

Blog Pendant from Howdy Sailor
Featured in the Etsy Storque article.
Howdy Sailor is offering Free shipping when you pay with PayPal. Just enter LEFTFIELD at check out so she knows to refund you.


T-shirt From Central City Project

Book Thong from Beads By Nann
NOTE: Nann is offering 15% off your total purchase to my readers, when you use PayPal. Just enter the code LEFTFIELD at check out and she will refund through PayPal.

Rather than giveaway a specific item I am doing a $25.00 Gift Certificate to either of my shops..

The Punk Rawk Shop


SYHO Customs

I am also offering a 25% discount off your total purchase to either of my shops, when you use PayPal. Again enter LEFTFIELD at check out and I will refund through PayPal.


$25.00 Gift Certificate to Victoria's Secret

What more could you, my lovely readers, want?
So what are you waiting for... go find an Etsy Shop and enter now!

Fine Print:
Entry period is from 09/25/09 through Noon, 10/02/09.
Winners will be announced no later than Sat. afternoon 10/03/09. will be used to pick winners.

Winners will be announced on this blog. I will also contact winners through their email if it's published in their profile. If you do not have an email listed in your profile, it will be your responsibility to check the blog to see if your a winner, and then contact me if you are.

Discount codes will be valid through the time of the entry period: Sept. 25 - Oct. 2

If you have any questions please email me tat2missyj at yahoo dot com.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

I'ma Good Read?

Dawn from Must Love Tots thinks I am a good read. Well thanks for the awesome award. I will get around to handing this sucker out sometime this week. Maybe tomorrow, who the hell knows. I just love awards with little to no work involved.

In the meantime, check out her blog. 'Cuz obviously she is a good read too.
Must Love Tots

RTT It's Been a While

I know, I know, It's been a while since I did a Random Tuesday. But as previously mentioned, I have nothing to bitch about. I am gonna take a crack at it anyway.

If you have stuff to bitch about, consider getting in on the fun. Visit The Un Mom for all the details.

OK... People really need to stop unfollowing me. It's really irritating. I only unfollow people who are raging republicans or who haven't posted in 2 months.

I am so lucky. Sexy Papa has been so wonderful. I was thinking to myself the other day, as I was headed out to go shopping "I am so lucky. He cooks, does dishes, does laundry AND he's great in bed." Seriously, when I came home from said shopping trip, he had done all the dishes, vacuumed, cleaned out the litter boxes, started laundry, fed the kids lunch... What the hell else could I ask for?

I have been staying up WAY to late, chatting in Etsy. I only got 4 hours of sleep last night. Don't tell hubby. he he he

Itty Bit LOVES school. She informed us the other day that she likes school so much, she wants to be a teacher. She is torn between that and Rock Star!

OK Ya'll, I have so much crap, um, stuff to do today. So I really must run. Don't forget about my giveaway. It starts as soon as I get 100 followers. I actually have money in my paypal to ship all this stuff, so we should get this thing going.

Friday, September 18, 2009

You know you want one...

We have a late entry, the last one I swear, for our giveaway. I fell in love with her shop, but she has only just contacted me. She will be shipping her donation directly to the winner, as it is getting late and we need to get this thing rolling.

She will be give a lucky winner one of these...


And from the creator herself...

I started making hats for my own children when I couldn't find what I wanted, (or what they needed), I would buy the yarn and begin to "sculpt". As we would walk through malls, stand in line at the grocery store or even visit Santa at a local tree farm, (with bells jingling), people would ask them where they got their hats. They would point to me and say "My mom made it." I was often asked where I sold them.

After years of fine art, owning an art gallery, working in interior design and eventually commercial merchandising - I found myself frantically crocheting hats for a local show. Exposure led to more shows and lots of custom orders. It felt good to be creating again. Etsy became the perfect solution for showing my hats plus referring customers to. They are able to see my current collection at any given time. Last winter I had orders from as far as France and Spain.

I take pride in not using any commercially available patterns and prefer to create my own and let the yarn lead me. I have many "test" children in my neighborhood. They are subject to my newest creations and it's a hoot to see them gathered at the bus stop wearing various bells, tassels and animal faces. I have always thought – if you’re going to wear a hat – wear it out loud. Nobody does that better than kids but I wasn’t surprised when adults began requesting cats, dogs and jester hats for themselves.

Like many of us, I have what a friend calls “craft ADD”. Once Hats Out Loud hit the summer season, I needed to find another creative outlet. Another friend and I started Plunk Soap. Plunk is a line of not-so-serious natural soaps, lotions & soy candles. Again, Etsy was the best place to show and sell our creations. It’s wonderful to have a place where uniqueness and creativity are appreciated.

These are just perfect, as the weather is getting cooler. I am madly in love with them.


Child's size cap with flaps

Baby booties

And guess what? She makes them for us pretending to be grown ups too. I am seriously considering getting one for myself. Which one should I get? She is so creative. Really, if you have kids you should totally check out here shop

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Blogging is Sexy...

This Chic designed a pendant just for my little giveaway. Check her out...

My name is Stefanie, I am 26 years old from good old New Jersey. I have been creating all types or art since I was very young, under the influence of my Mother. Over the years I have tried many different mediums, from plush to painting canvases, but have always found my love to be pin up inspired art. All of my pieces start with a simple word or phrase and I build each of them individually from there. I have a ton of fun trying to find the perfect image to suit what I am trying to say.

Currently, the shop contains jewelry and one of a kind canvas art but will soon expand to other accessories and items for the home.


When I am not neck deep in paper, wood, and paint, I enjoy scouring every market for vintage Halloween items, my favorite holiday. I also enjoy hanging out and being silly with my best friends, playing with my Bulldog, working on my side project (, having bbqs, relaxing on the beach, and taking random road trips to anywhere!

When I am not scanning the thousands of wonderful shops on Etsy, and buying more than I should, you can find me here: (she's my queen!!)

Well Thanks Stef, for creating this awesome pendant for us. You can take a random road trip here anytime! And for those who are interested she listed the blogging is sexy in her Etsy shop. Buy the necklace


Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Central City Project

You guys are gonna love this. I got one of these in the mail last week for our giveaway. The one I got is blue and Med sized. But better than getting a free shirt, your gonna dig the story behind it.

The Central City Artist Project is a non-profit organization founded by people who believe artists play integral roles in healthy communities. Our goal is to create a residency program in the heart of Central City, a populated, historic neighborhood in New Orleans struggling to overcome not just Hurricane Katrina’s destruction but also two long-standing community scourges - poverty and crime.
for more information:

Artists have generously donated original drawings to help us raise money and awareness for Central City. All t-shirts are hand-printed, using water-based inks on 100% cotton shirts. Please visit our store for more information, and buy a t-shirt today:



And the one I will be giving away...


Please show your support for this cause and go buy a t-shirt or 10!

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Blogger Forgive Me...

...for I have sinned. It's been ... shit I don't know... to long since my last blog post. I was thinking about it last night and I think I know why!

I don't have anything to bitch about. All 3 girls started school last week. I have had the nice quiet house to myself all day long.. for a week! For those of you who are wondering, we have all day Kindergarten here.

I have been getting a ton of stuff done. My house is getting back to normal. I scrubbed my kitchen and my bathroom from top to bottom. We're talking washing the walls and cleaning out the oven. It's so nice! I love a clean house.

I have been painting and drawing. Things I love to do, but can't while someone is constantly in the background screaming "Mom" or "Miss. Missy" That's what the neighborhood kids call me. I placed an add on craigslist for models for a new clothing line I am developing. I found 2 who are willing to work with me, and they are actual models!

I have been shopping on Etsy. I decided that everyone in my family will be getting something off of Etsy. Cause everyone can use a little handmade in their life.

It's just been an over all great week. Nothing to complain about.

I did get a package in the mail last week from The Central City Project for our giveaway. Stay tuned for the feature on them tomorrow. And I also have another Etsy Artist to feature this week as well. Think "blogging is sexy"

Speaking of the giveaway... We are holding steady at 93 followers. And even though school has started, I am still going to hold it when I get to 100 followers. So many great artist have contributed to the giveaway, it would be silly for me not to do it because we didn't reach the goal in time!

OK, that's my update. Now I don't feel so guilty about ignoring my little blog. More to come this week I promise!

Tuesday, September 8, 2009


Well, here in Tidewater VA, public schools don't go back until the day after labor day. So that the high schoolers can work at the ocean front tourist traps.

That means today is our first day of school. Itty Bit's first day EVER. I was a big girl, I didn't cry. But I think that may be because it is pouring down rain, and I didn't really have time to reflect on the event in the moment.

OH, and Sexy Papa went to work at his regularly scheduled time. So I have the whole messy house to myself. My poor house, it barely survived summer vacation.



Friday, September 4, 2009

Ooh, La La

I can't believe I didn't show these to you guys.


Blogging All the cool kids are doing it



Blogging is Sexy


OK, so I totally admit, I stole the "blogging is sexy" idea from one of our contributors to the giveaway. She made this pendant just for us. Now I wish I wasn't the admin, so I could win it. I told her to put them in her shop so I could buy one.

She is the Etsy shopkeeper of HowdySailor. I will be doing a write up about her early next week. Until then, you should go check her out. We all know how I love tattoo inspired stuff.

Alright, moving on. I took Itty Bit to her Kindergarten open house last night. She had so much fun. I don't think I have ever seen a kid so excited to go to school. You guys probably don't realize what an achievement this is. It took me nearly 2 months to get everything in order to get her into school. Pain in the ass!

Anyway, all the little darlings go off to school next Tuesday. Sexy Papa was talking to his boss about this, and the boss, bless his crooked little head, suggested that he come in late that day. You know, so he could see his little girl go off to her first day of school. I was thinking to myself "No way! I have been waiting 10 freaking years for a day off. Hell no you can't see her off to school and then bug the hell out of me for sex." Is that wrong?

Oh well, I will let you know how it goes. I am sure I will cry. She is my baby after all.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Etsy is haviing a sale

I know, I know. I am a hella slacker this week as I haven't popped in once to see how you all are doing. But I have been busy. I'll catch you up later. I have been checking the following stats and we are almost there...

I am just posting really quick about a sale that many Etsian's (Etsy artist) are participating in.

From the Etsy Storque page:
Each of the shops below offers special discounts on your entire order from Thursday, September 3, through Monday, September 7. Simply enter the code "Weekend Deals" in the Message to Seller field during Checkout to take advantage of the sale. Your discount will be refunded through PayPal. Find the individual discount and sale sections beneath each item below. Stay tuned for tomorrow's extended deals, with even more discounts this weekend only!

Here is the link: Etsy Labor Day Weekend Sale

Plus there are a lot of other artist participating with their own "sales". Like me! I am doing $5.00 off each shirt from my shop. Good on as many shirts as you want to order. Plus, I have recently upgraded to organic cotton.

The Punk Rawk Shop.