Good For Ya

For days I've been looking forward to Saturday night.

Mr. Security is out of town for work right now. Not unusual. It's a big part of his job. Early on in the week, during one of our nightly phone calls, we were discussing plans for a date night. 

Itty Bit will be spending the night with one of her grandmas. That means the tone of date night completely changes. It's not often we get the house to ourselves. We plan to take full advantage of this.

Mr. Security has a way of making me feel like a girl. I want to be pretty. I want him to think I'm sexy and not be able to keep his hands off of me. So much so, that I started getting ready for date night on Wed. Hair cut, eye brows plucked, hair dyed...Black cherry, in case you're wondering. None of those things are out of the ordinary for me.

The big deal here is what I went shopping for. I haven't done this in YEARS. It never really mattered. For some reason, now it does. He deserves to be spoiled a little. I bought sexy intimate wear. Way beyond the functional cotton I normally wear, I suspect he's going to loose his mind a little. I can't wait to pick him up from the airport!!!

It's kind of fun being girly. I mean, I don't plan on doing it often. But every once in a while...it's nice.

If You're Going Through Hell

I'm not a fan of country music. It's rare that I'll even entertain the idea of listening to it at all. But this song...It fits.



It's been an interesting few weeks with DQ. All hell is trying to break loose and it's taking every bit of strength I have to fight back.

DQ needs to be in a full time therapy, behavior mod setting. These things cost money. Unfortunately, her insurance doesn't cover the entire cost. Since I can't cover the cost, I have to basically petition the city to pick up the overlap. In our last city, this didn't seem to be a problem. The funding allocation team seemed vested in her well being and mine and Itty Bit's safety. 

But we moved. With that our case moved to a new team. Where the previous team was ready to increase her level of care to a locked facility, this new team...sigh. In a nut shell they said, 'Why should we continue to pay for treatment if she's not doing any work?' The new city wants to send her home. I'm baffled. 

And if she turns into Lizzie Borden? If she's stabs some kid at school in a fatal attraction scenario? If she has a baby and realizes it's taking attention away from her? Will she drowned her kid in a bathtub? Or maybe she'll develop munchausen by proxy? Because of the Borderline Personality disorder, DQ is capable of any of those things. 

Then it will be; "Why wasn't she given the mental health help she needed?" "Where were the parents? Didn't they know about her mental instability?" 

But for now it; "Money is more important than people." 

I took the day off yesterday, because I had 4 meeting regarding DQ. I also took today off because I need to dedicate some time to researching all of our options. 

Apparently we need a back up plan. I'm not willing to have Itty Bit go stay with my mom. I'm not willing to have Mr. Security move out because of what she might do to sabotage us. I'm not willing to take a leave of absence so I can monitor her 24 hours of day. I'm not willing to go to bed wondering if she's going to stab me in my sleep.

The last 6 months have been the most stress free normal time I've experienced in decades. Not since I went into foster care and got placed with my 'Mom' have I been so relaxed and happy. 

I'm not willing to trade every ones safety and emotional well being because this city wants to save a few bucks.