Life In Left Field

10.26.10

2010-10-26T06:58:00.000-04:00

Have you ever seen a license plate that says something like BOBS WIF or JRS GIRL ? How about internet screen names along the lines of "So 'n' So's Honey/Wife/Girlfriend....? It always irritates the crap out of me when I see something like that. That a woman could be so wrapped up in her man, she's lost her own identity. Even if it is a simple thing as a plate or a S.N., she has still reduced herself to property. I mean, it's great that you love someone so much, but did you lose yourself along the way? It always reminds me of the Dom/Sub relationship.

And then yesterday I realized, as much as I never wanted to be, I am no different. I have become the Submissive without even knowing it Or giving consent!

My face hurts from the acne caused be stress.

My mouth is sore from chewing my cheek and biting my lip in constant worry.

I don't have laugh lines. I have frown lines. And my jaw hurts from clenching my teeth in my sleep.

My stomach is torn up again, and yes, I have started the Prilosec again.

My body does suffer physical pain at the hands of my Dom. Only he never soothes me when it's over. He is blissfully unaware.

The only good that has come out of this is the weight I have lost. 40 lbs fell off me so fast, that my stomach has excess skin. Not much, but I notice it.

These days I am feeling so trapped I might as well be chained to a wall in the basement. I'm already defeated.

10.8.10

2010-10-08T09:38:00.000-04:00

There's no need to argue anymore.
I gave all I could, but it left me so sore.
And the thing that makes me mad,
Is the one thing that I had...

No Need to Argue -Cranberries.

I've been in a very "Cranberries" mood lately.

I'm angry. So much so that I could commit homicide.

I'm mostly angry with myself though. That I could turn into this person. The 24 year old me would kick my ass if she could see me today.

I NEVER wanted to be a housewife or mother. There, I said that shit! I stand at the kitchen sink and cry when no one is looking. I wash dishes and long to be bent over a body instead, tattoo machine in hand, creating and soothing someones pain.

A few months ago, dear husband and I got into an argument, of no importance what-so-ever. Except that it was. He became so furious that he wouldn't let me leave. I tried. I was just going to go to work, and since he was so upset, I decided to take the girls to the sitter. He wouldn't let us leave.

The screaming lead to spitting all over my face in his rage. His uncontrollable temper found me in my car, with my children freaking out in the back seat, as he held the door so I couldn't close it. His fury to get the keys away from me, jerked me out towards the door and bashing my head on the frame of the car. His need to control everything ended up with the spare key broken in the ignition, and a slice on my finger. His blindness terrorized my oldest child, when he yanked the phone out of her hand and smashed it on the ground when she tried to call grandma.

But alas I am not angry with him.

I am furious with myself. When the police showed up and asked me if he had hurt me I replied, "Well I hit my head on the door frame of the car when he yanked the keys out of my hand. But he didn't do it on purpose."

I wonder when this became okay? That I would unwittingly defend his actions? Who the fuck is this person inhabiting my skin?
And now everyday I wonder what happened to the girl who would have elbowed him in the throat and cut his balls off.

For the record, I told him I wanted a divorce. I told him to get out of my house. He won't leave, and neither will I. This is my children's home. They go to school here, and have friends here. They should not suffer because he is a stubborn ass.

So for now I stand at the kitchen sink and cry.

10.3.10

2010-10-03T22:28:00.000-04:00

Holdin' on
That's what I do
Since I met you.

And it won't be long
Would you notice
If I left you?

Cranberries-Daffodils Lament

Who's That Girl?

2010-07-16T07:32:00.000-04:00

I wrote over on Venus and Mars yesterday about the person I was and who I have become. It ended up being a pretty good topic for discussion. Head on over there to see what people are saying about...

Once upon a time, in a land far away, just outside Detroit, I was a girl with a dream. I was a single mother with a 1 year old in tow. I knew I needed to figure out what I was going to do with the rest of my life and get started on it.

I had always been immersed in the world of art, starting at a very young age. I was always drawing, and sometimes painting. I took many classes to fend off my feelings of insecurity, about the craft. But deep down I knew, no one can really make a career out of drawing.

That was until I realized, I was in MI, and tattooing was legal there. I took the bull by the horns, walked into a studio and made fast friends with one of the old dogs of the tattoo world. I got an apprenticeship immediately. I never felt as “at home” as I did in the studio. It was a one man show, and the owner, Doc, ended up being the closest thing I had to a father... EVER!

I wanted it so badly, that I worked 10 hours a day, six days a week there. The apprenticeship did not pay, so in order to support my daughter, I worked the graveyard shift at a gas station. I went on this way for months, exhausting myself. I ended up in the hospital at one point, but it did not slow me down. I was on my way to being a rock star of the tattoo world, and nothing ever tasted so sweet.

The Inner Demon

And then one day, I had to come back to the East Coast on short notice. Not long after that I met my, would be, husband. In the time that we dated, I purchase my own tattoo equipment, almost $4000 worth. I was determined to continue on my journey, and worked on myself and my friends. I occasionally made the trip back to see Doc, where we would spend the day in the studio working on my skills. I was getting good, and I was building a client list. People who only wanted to be tattooed by me. During that time, tattooing became legal here. But by the time I was ready to go back into that world, I was pregnant and engaged.

Irish and American Indian Heritage

We'll just skip right to the end of this story. Shortly after we were married, my husband informed me that he didn't want me to get any more tattoos, because he didn't want to be married to a 'biker bitch'. Oh and it wouldn't be good for our relationship, if I went to work in a studio. What he expressed was we were a young family, and I would be spending to much time away in the evenings.

So I put my dream away. I put on my happy face, and calmed my inner wild child. I eventually took my tongue ring out, and tried harder to conform, to not rock the boat, to keep the peace. A fat lot of good it's done me. It's been 10 years since I walked into that studio. And everyone one around me is miserable, most of all me.

I still dream, at night, about working in the studio. About getting the tattoos I worked out in my head all those years ago. Thinking about it now makes my heart feel like someone is squeezing it.

About a month ago, after another screaming session with my husband, I sat and thought about my life. I spent a week seething with anger, waiting for him to say he was sorry, again. When I realized that this time, it was not coming, I started to think about what I want out of life. For the first time in a long time, I put everyone else on the back burner. I decided it was time to be a little selfish.

With a little patience, I managed to work the barbell back into my tongue. It's my armor, it makes me feel like the tough girl I used to be. Before I settled for someone elses idea of what my life should be.

It took him 2 days to notice, but when he finally did, I decided it was time to tell him. I am going to try to get back into the tattoo world . It's been 10 years, so I will need to re-apprentice. But I don't care. I need this so badly, I can manage to put everything aside, and focus on what I need to do to make this happen.

He is not happy. I tried to explain it as nicely as I could, but the point was, he doesn't have a choice, or any say in the matter. I used to be a bad ass. I used to have the temper of a raging bull if you pushed me too far. I used to walk around, all my ink show, proud. I used to have a mouth worse than any drunkin' sailor. I used to be outgoing, and make fast friends. I was strong and confident and beautiful in my determination. I was on my way to being a rock star in the tattoo world. I am none of those things anymore.

Somethings that have changed are for the best. My children don't need to hear my former foul mouth. And the chances of me ending up in jail, because I hit my husband with a vacuum while he screamed horrible names at me... slim to none! But I miss the person I used to be. I want to be that happy go lucky person. I want to look forward to getting up every morning. I want to hear peoples life stories, while they sit in my chair. I miss helping people heal part of their pain through a tattoo. I want back the excitement of planning a piece of meaningful art. To see it realized in their skin. To be humbled that they would wear my art, for the world to see.

Dealing With The Lose of a Newborn

I am not sure how this life would have turned out if giving up my dream had made a difference. If my husband was not always angry and hateful. It might have been worth our happiness then. But that's not the way it turned out. So... I am choosing my happiness over him. When the girls go back to school in the Fall, I will begin the journey again. And I will find happiness in the person I used to be, whether he stands beside me or not.

OK, so what do you think? Head over to Venus/Mars to add to the discussion.

The Saga Continues

2010-06-21T06:50:00.000-04:00

I am holding on to the edge by my fingertips alone. Taking shallow breathes, as if inhaling to deeply might send me falling over the ridge.
The muscles in my jaw hurts, and my teeth ache, from the constant scowl. I can hear my own teeth grinding. I can feel the muscles clench and unclench.
I found myself walking around yesterday, with my hands slightly out from my sides and all of my fingers fully extended. I am really trying hard not to clench my fists into tight balls, because I really want to punch someone, just to make myself feel better. My need for violence, to put into action what I feel inside, is nearly painful. Which only points out further that he has no idea of the person I was. That I still feel I could be. The fight not to destroy things leaves me trembling sometimes.

Itty Bit noticed that I had twisted a strand of my own hair so much that it stayed that way, dangling next to my face. My husband then fingered the strand and said that it looked like a nervous wreck. He was so close to me and it made me so uncomfortable, that I could have punched him. Instead, I explained that the strand kept falling out of my clip, so I twisted it so that it would stay behind my ear. Of course it was a lie, but I don't want him to think he has that much of an affect on me.

He still hasn't apologized. 6 days later and he is still holding his tongue. I realized a couple of days ago, that it's OK. I mean really, how many times can you hear "I'm sorry" and still believe it?

No Subject

2010-06-16T07:59:00.000-04:00

Couples fight. I get that. No 2 people are going to agree on everything all the time. But I wonder, is it common to say mean and hurtful things to the person your supposed to love?

Don't misunderstand me, we don't fight often. I am a peace keeper. But every now and then, he boils over. Is it my fault that he bottles it up until it spills out like lava? Apparently, yes!

Last night he was in rare form. He picked and yelled and cursed at me, until I bit back. Somewhere deep down I think he enjoys being angry, irritated, and feeling sorry for himself. The short of it is: I am selfish, and lazy. A liar and a bitch. I always get my way. I don't respect him, the kids don't respect him. I act as though he is only here to earn a paycheck, so I can do whatever the fuck I want to do. It clicked for me at some point. That this is how he always feels. This garbage bubbles under the surface for him all the time.

He ranted and raved and said things like "I'm sorry, I can't give you anything else. I can't be the perfect husband. I'm sorry you can't change me into the person you want me to be, anymore than you already have." And then the mutha fucker said "I'm sorry I'm not Edward." I was literally at a lose for words. I just stood there starring at him, with what I'm sure was an incredulous look on my face. Until he said something about, I had nothing to say now, huh?

I was seething. So angry I was shaking. The crushing weight of it, I thought I would pass out or vomit. So I said to him "Get it all out. Finish screaming at me, so I can bawl my eyes out and go to bed, and you can feel like shit in the morning." Then he told me I do these things on purpose. Become irritated at him so I don't have to give him sex. I looked at him and squinted my eyes. That was it for me. I let the mouth run off and said to him "Really? You think this is better for me? You think it wouldn't be easier for me to drop to my knees right now and give you what you want, because this-" my hands motioned around the room and at him "this is going to go on for the next 2 fucking hours!" I actually saw a vision of me going down on him and THEN gutting his ass with a boning knife. That's when I knew. It didn't matter what I said, he was still going to be wrapped up in his self pity, for his horrible fucking life.

He ran through the same shitty things he does every time this happens. At one point focusing on the fact that I allow my oldest daughter more leeway than I give him. I said, "yes, I don't expect as much from the 11 year old as I expect from the grown fucking man!" I was informed that "this is not a democracy, this is a dictatorship, and he is going to be the dick. And that just because I sit calmly and don't scream doesn't mean I am any less disrespectful. I said "It's like you are in the twilight zone over there." When I spoke, I was interrupting him. When I didn't speak, I was ignoring him. So I give up. When he asked "What have you ever asked me to do that I didn't do?" I started screaming. "This. This right here. You yelling at me, belittling me, saying hurtful things and insulting me, because you hold it all in until you burst."

At one point he 'went to sleep in the car'. Which is his 2 year old way of saying, 'come after me. make me feel better.' I didn't. After about 20 minutes he came back 'for a pillow', and picked at me some more.

The funny thing is: I was in a great mood yesterday. I couldn't wait to roll around naked with my husband after the girls went to bed. And then he sat down at the table and opened his mouth. When DQ asked an open ended question, he actually said "Are you really that stupid?" to her. And I ran cold. And I suspect I will be for a long time.

I did tell him that his temper, and curt comments... the only people they are going to affect is the girls. It's going to affect how the grow up and the people they become.

How is a man able to scream and yell at his wife, until tears burn down her cheeks, and not be affected by it? Instead turn those tears against her and say "it's all about you. Don't give a fuck what anyone else is feeling, just that your being hurt." At one point I did think 'Your right. You will never be Edward. Because he is a fictional character. That's why we all love him. Because he would never treat his wife like this. He would never say these things to the person he loves.'

And now I am left sitting here trying to find the strength to kick him out. Again. Because after all this time, and everything we have been through, I know it's not going to change. I am trying to sift through what would be the best thing for the girls. But my head is swimming. I called into work today, because I can't speak without choking on my words. I want to call his best friend and ask her opinion. But her son is in the hospital right now. I can not burden her further. I want to call my best friend and my mother, and cry on their shoulder. But I don't think it will do any good. It certainly won't resolve my problem.

Been a While RTT

2010-06-08T05:45:00.000-04:00

You know the deal, write your Random Tuesday Thoughts, head over to The Un-Mom, link up and visit everyone else. OK, it sounds complicated, but it's really not.

Mosquito season already? My oldest, DQ, and I are highly allergic to these little bastards. Which means I bat violently at them, as if they were wasps. Because first is the itch, which is almost bearable. But then the swelling, heat and pain. Urg...

School is almost out here. The girls keep reminding me, daily, of the countdown. 7 days left. I bet my countdown to when they are bored with summer will be even shorter. I give it 3 days before they are making me absolutely insane with "We're Bored."

I hired a high school girl to come watch the girls 3 days a week. Just for part of the day. So I can still work at the fabric store. The more time I spend away from the house, the less I will have to hear "We're Bored."

Did you watch the MMAs on Sunday? The buzz all over the net was "Will Rob and Kristen be 'together'?" Really? Who gives a shit? Well, actually, apparently a lot of people do. I am not one of them. People, People. They are not the characters from the book. They are human beings just like you and me. For Christs sake, leave them alone.

My, drug addict, sister in law is a cow and I wish she would get hit by a bus. So long as she is not with my nephew when she is crossing the street!

Out and About

2010-06-04T05:49:00.000-04:00

Anyone local? Anyone local planning to buy the new Stephanie Meyer book?

I will be out at the midnight release party: Barnes and Nobles TCC Norfolk.
They will be giving away one of my little chokers to the first 20 people to buy a book tonight. Yeah!

If you were thinking about going out tonight, you should stop by and say HI!

OK, That's all for me.

G.D. M.F. SOB

2010-06-01T06:14:00.039-04:00

Yep, those letters mean just what you think they do...

So my neighbor comes over, and we get to talking about this girl that DQ became instant best friends with. Which I think is great. Someone her own age, rather than the little kids she has been stuck with. And I actually like the girl, and she adores me, but mostly because she wants Twilight goodies.

Well Neighbor lady says, my daughter is not allowed to play over at new girls house, because there is a sex offender that lives close by there.

So we hop on my computer and look up the registry, and not 1 but 2 offenders live on the girls street. OK, so neighbor and I go take a ride to see where they are in relation to new girls house. Neighbor thinks that one of the addresses is actually New Girls house.

So I drop her at home and come pick up DQ. I have DQ show me exactly which house it is that her friend lives at. Yep, it's one of the addresses. SHIT! So I ask DQ "Who all lives there?" Thinking maybe there is a creepy uncle shacking over there. DQ says "New girl, Dad, Step mom, step sister and brother." And I say "The brother is a kid right?" "Yeah, he is a teenager."

I come home and look at the info online again. Humn. At this point I am hoping that it was the previous tenant, and that the registry just hasn't been updated. I call DQ to come look at the photo, and ask her "Do you know this man?" "Oh yeah" she says "That's New Girls dad."

WHAT??? Now I am raging mad. This is not some, "I got caught pissing on a brick wall beside a bar one night" sex offense. This is indecent liberties with a child. And my babies have been hanging out over there. Hey, there ought to be some fucking law. If the neighborhood kids end up at your house, you should be REQUIRED to tell their parents you have been convicted of a felony against a child!!!

Well, I tried to hide my grief over this revelation. But I guess DQ is a perceptive kid. She asked this morning "Am I not allowed to go to New Girls house anymore?" Of course my answer is no, but damn it. The girls are like BFF. And it's not New Girls fault her dad is a creep!

I feel like a fucking idiot for not checking sooner. But really, do I have to investigate every neighbor? In my defense, DQ has only been over there a couple of times, and Itty Bit only once. And unfortunately, they will NOT be going back. I feel bad for the girls, but I have to be a good parent. I told DQ that New Girl is always welcome here. And somehow she understood, but was still disappointed.

Indecent liberties with a child, as defined by the state where he was convicted is exactly as bad as it sounds.
I really wanted to call Step Mom and say "What the Fuck!" Now I am wondering what will come next.

Cat With a Drinking Problem

2010-05-28T05:46:00.000-04:00

Here is a funny for your Friday!
I had to share...

You can't get most cats near water. Certainly not mine!
Have a good weekend everyone!

Fun in the Works

2010-05-27T06:30:00.033-04:00

Soooo...
Remember the other day, I mentioned getting a bunch of cool new fabrics, and I couldn't wait to play with them? No, of course you don't, because my readership has hit the floor as of late. Wonder if that has anything to do with my not posting for months... But I digress.

I did mention something about it. And here are a few of them in raw uncut form. Now what to do with it all?

Wine Print

Sparkly fairy print, although you can't see the sparkle...

Comic book food print

Very realistic looking watermelon. This is actually 2 different fabrics, but I can't wait to put them together.

Vintage looking Alice in Wonderland.

War metals in black and white.

And this awesome print... You'll never guess what it made me think of? It even has Queen chess pieces. I wanted the whole bolt, but at 10 bucks a yard, I settled for 2 yards. Don't tell Sexy papa.

BOLO

2010-05-26T05:00:00.001-04:00

Did you guys know that BOLO means Be On the Look Out? Yeah, you probably knew that.

So here are some things that any like minded people should be looking forward to:

June 5th: The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner will be released. Stephanie Meyer will be posting the book to read for free on her website. It will also be released in print on the same day. $1 of every book sold will go to the American Red Cross. You can get more info here. Bree Tanner News.
I will be attending a release party for this... I know your all thinking 'of course she will' Yeah well, what can I say! I will be taking along some freebies for my fellow Twilight Junkies!

June 22nd: The next installment of the numbers novels from writer Janet Evanovich will be released. I know you find it hard to believe that I could be obsessed with anything other than the Twilight series. Actually, I will have you know, Janet Evanovich was my first book obsession. My husband knows that it is his duty to secure a copy and keep the kids out of my hair the day it is released! You can read the beginning of it here. Sizzling Sixteen.

June 30th: Do I even have to say it? Probably not. But I will say, I have had my tickets since the day they went on pre-sale! Another nod to the Sexy Papa! Yes, I will be at the midnight opening on a Wed night! I may have some freebies for this one too. We'll have to see how it goes.

Give Me a Break...

2010-05-25T07:31:00.000-04:00

...I've been busy. No, literally. I have been up to my elbows in things that need to be done... And things that make me happy.

There is news about my nephew, Little Brian. I'll get into that another day... when it's sunny out and I am less likely to fall into a depression over it. Last time I had to deal with any of it, I spent the rest of the day in bed, all but moaning.

So here is a quick run down.
I got a silver Volvo. Not a new shiny one like a certain Cullen. More like a '99, 4 door, been scraped in 3 of 4 corners, speedometer doesn't work, kinda Volvo. But the price was right, and it meant I could work during the day while the kids were at school. No sooner than I started working weekdays, did the thing develop a transmission problem and end up in the shop for 2 weeks. Urg.

I have taken a break from reading Twilight books. I am still clearly obsessed. But I can't get anything done with a book in my face. So what did I do? I started making Twilight inspired things. Sad I know...

Bags...

And Jewelry...

Which lead to other, non Twilight related, jewelry. But I haven't had time to photograph those. Did I mention I've been busy?

I have sold a couple of my Twilight items. Yay me! And I will be participating in the 30 Days of Eclipse extravaganza. I will also be sending her a bag to review. So if your wondering about the quality, and why they cost so much, you can get your answers over there.

I just finished a twin size rag quilt. I really thought I was done with those. I donated all of my finished baby quilts to the children's hospital. This one was a bear. But it's done... so now I get to play with all the fabric I found at this little place called Fabric Hut. I know, I work for Joann's but Fabric Hut has stuff we don't carry. Like Micheal Miller. Wait until you see all these great prints I found.

OK I must to go to the grocery store before I have to be at work. So I will catch up with you guys later. Have a great day!

Come and play

2010-05-11T11:53:00.000-04:00

Real World Venus v. Mars is looking for guest contributors. You've heard me talk about Real World before, so if your interested head on over...

Here is the link: http://realworldvenusmars.blogspot.com/2010/05/come-and-guest-contribute.html

Lucky Girls

2010-04-09T06:00:00.002-04:00

I know... you wish you could do something so cool...
My Mom volunteers at the Marine Science museum. Why is that cool? Because every now and then, she takes the girls in "behind the scenes" to hang out with the seals. While the rest of the visitors have to look at them in the big tank, on the other side of the glass... The girls go into the holding area.

Today they visited with Hector. He is a sweet and lovable guy...

Itty Bit is feeling brave

Hector gave DQ a Kiss!

Yep, those are my lucky girls.

Evolution

2010-04-08T06:00:00.001-04:00

Could we be seeing evolution before our very eyes? Can you just imagine, cats walking around on 2 legs? Why can't my cat be this cool?

The Standing Cat @ Yahoo! Video

I knew you would love it, that's why I had to share

P.S. I am posting over at Venus Mars today. Go check it out.

It's That Simple

2010-03-24T07:23:00.000-04:00

I love my husband every minute of every day. Even when he is getting on my nerves. But some days, I feel overwhelmed by it. Some days I feel so lucky. Some days I feel like I don't deserve him.

What was it that I texted him the other day... "All that I'm after is a life full of laughter as long as I'm laughing with you" He was a little confused, but I explained it to him. A line from a song that was playing on the radio that made me think of him.

Sometimes I don't think he understands that the best gifts he gives me don't cost a penny. You see I am an artist. Which, by definition, means I am a little crazy. Probably, in my case, it means I am a lot crazy. But he is very patient with me.

When I get in a compulsive mood, I simply must do whatever it is that has demanded my attention. I can't think about anything else. And when other, absolute, needs arise, such as a daily chore, I have a crushing suffocating feeling, until I can get back to my current compulsion.

I paint, though not often anymore.
I draw
I tattoo, again, not as much as I used to.
I sew
I must always be creating something with my hands. Usually it's not a devouring thing. Most times I break away easily to move on to other things throughout the day. But I ALWAYS have something going.

My compulsions are not limited to creating. For example, reading. If I pick up a book, and it's even mildly interesting, I must finish it. It's as if my life depends on it. And if the book happens to be part of a series, the world may very well be shut out for weeks.

At least once a year, my husband becomes a single parent while I read Janet Evanovich. It never takes more than 2 days of reading to come out of the tunnel. But while I am there, He takes on the world. Creates a shield around me so that I am not disturbed.

Then there are the days, when I feel like doing absolutely nothing. He has come home to find me laying in our bed, watching TV... the house in a totally chaotic state. And I am honest with him... I tell him "I just didn't feel like doing anything today." To which he says something like "Your fine babe. Relax and enjoy watching TV."

The best gift my husband gives me is time. Time to do whatever it is that has consumed me.

Some days I feel spoiled.

And did I mention he is hot?

And he loves me... Sometimes I don't know how I got so lucky.

Frustration RTT

2010-03-23T05:41:00.005-04:00

It's random Tuesday again. And lemme tell ya, I got some shit on my mind...
Wanna play too? Go hit up Keely The Un Mom. She is the wonderful host of this chaos.

Why oh why don't Etsy buyers leave feedback? Well most of them don't. Other sellers leave feedback, because they know how important it is. But I have noticed buyers that don't have their own shop, usually don't leave it. Other sellers have the same problem. We never had this problem with eBay.

My kids are making me crazy. I think I am more upset about always having to fuss at them, rather than what I am fussing about. They have been without TV and Video games for more than a month. And still they can't pick up their crap. It's not complicated stuff either... I only ask that they don't leave my house looking like a war zone, by keeping up with what belongs to them. I am tired of not being able to open my front door because there are 8 pairs of little girls shoes sitting there. Why is that so hard to do?

The new "Key Holder" at work pissed me off this weekend. She has been working at Joann's a lot longer than me. Keep in mind that I only work 10-15 hours a week.
So the Sunday morning that we worked together, she was late getting to the store.... and was a half hour late opening the store.... If I had realized what time it was I would have told her. When she was questioned by the regional manager, she blamed the late opening on me. Why??? "Well I have never worked on Sunday before. Missy works weekends, she should have known what time the store opens." She totally threw me under the bus. All while I wasn't there to defend myself. Our store manager, Barb, (Who loves me) was there and stuck up for me, but still...
Barb started to tell me about it, but then bit her lip. She didn't want to finish, because she knew I would be mad. I managed to pry it out of her, and she was right, I was mad.
I'm sorry, it's not my job to open the store. She gets paid to be on top of these things, not me. HELLO there is a sign on the fucking front doors! You pass that sign every time you walk through them.
Um, hey Lydia, you picked the wrong one to stab in the back. Because I don't need this job, I will have no problems making your life miserable. Not that I am worried about it. EVERYONE likes me better. Wonder why that is?

I am officially Twilight obsessed. I am so bummed that I have read and watched all available content. Now I can't wait until June 30th...

Find more videos like this on The Twilight Saga

Alright, I am done groaning now. Thanks for letting me vent!

Dear So and So

2010-03-19T05:44:00.002-04:00

Kat over at 3 Bedroom Bungalow does this Dear So and So thing. I see it as very therapeutic. So this week I am going to join in.

Dear Bus Driver

If you do not stop blowing that whistle at the kids on the bus, you may find yourself choking on it, as a result of me shoving it down your throat. You scare my Itty Bit, whom you force to sit behind you. And she doesn't misbehave on the bus.

Itty Bit's Protective Mommy -Missy

Dear Family Friend,

Please, please, please, get that car registered. I am, quite frankly, tired of Sexy Papa driving you to work everyday. I haven't been able to use our car in 3 months because of your lack of transportation. But you have a car now, register the damn thing already.

Love you like a brother,
Missy

Dear Twilight Teen Freaks,

While this evening should all be in good fun, waiting for our copies of New Moon... Please remember to respect your elders-that would be me-and let me have my copy first. I will have to get up early and deal with my children. I will need to get home in a timely manner and umm... go to bed, yeah, that's it, go to bed.

The Fiend
Missy

Dear Mom,

Please stop showing up at my house unannounced. It really bugs the piss out of me when you do that. And when you wake me up from a nap, don't be frightened by the angry bear who resembles your daughter. You asked for it!

Your loving daughter
Missy

OK that's gonna do it for me today. If you wanna play, head over to Kat's.

They Turned Me Into A Junkie

2010-03-18T05:06:00.000-04:00

I was in no hurry to see the movie. I didn't hear all wonderful things about it. But me being me, you know I would have to see a vampire movie. Like I said, I was in no hurry. So I waited until it came "On Demand" and watched it then.

I had never even heard of the Twilight series before the movie buzz. I was anticipating the newest installment in movie form, but not hanging on the edge of my seat. When the advertisement for the DVD release started running on TV, I decided to check the library to see if they had the second book. Just curious you know.

Well, they did, so I borrowed it. I read it from cover to cover in about 8 hours. It was that good. I love to read and it was an easy book to read. Hummm. I was interested more now that I had read the book. Well the second book anyway. So when I returned it, I got the next book in the series, Eclipse. Again, I made short work of it. When I went to return it, They did not, to my grave disappointment, have the final book. So I drove my happy ass to the store and bought it. I think that I will donate it to the library. Now that I have finished it in record time.

I am going through withdraw. Like a junkie that can't get a hold of any. My only relief will be on Sat. when they release the DVD. What the hell am I going to do with myself until then?

I guess I could just sit here, looking at the poster, drumming my fingers.

Helpful Insight...

2010-03-17T05:35:00.002-04:00

Have I ever told you about Venus vs. Mars... The blog? I think I have mentioned that I write over there sometimes. But I don't suppose I have ever told you about the blog itself.

The actuall name is In The Real World Venus vs. Mars or RWVM for short. And it is a little golden gem of a blog in a sea of relatively simple blogs. What I mean is, most blogs are a one person show. Where the author writes about what they want to say. Which is good. I frequent personal blogs and craft blogs. But RWVM is something entirely different.

RWVM is a collaboration of grown ups, 12 women and 7 men, writing about the many aspects of relationships. Our little group is led by Shelle. She is very good at organizing us, and keeping the topic list full.

Everyone is allowed to say their piece. In fact, it's sort of the point to get the 2 different views between men and women. Each week they have topics that are written about from the view of both different sexes. Then there is the He Said She Said segment, for a serious debate.

It's very light hearted, not at all stressful. But the topics are very real and apply to most, if not all, of the relationships out there. Anything you might imagine would affect a long term relationship is talked about over there.

And if it's not.... Well you could always email Shelle, and she would be willing to bring it up for the group. Every week there is a segment called group therapy, where she puts forth a question or scenario posed by a reader and we all give our take.

I find the blog very useful. I can bounce idea's off other grown-ups. And it is very helpful when trying to gain insight into the males prospective. I am often baffled by the things guys do. I find many of my answers over there.

So if you haven't done so already... go check it out.
The Real World Venus vs. Mars

Random Tuesday-ish

2010-03-16T13:40:00.002-04:00

I know, I know... It's been a while. Still, I think the most of us, women especially, will enjoy this one.
For more random-ish fun, visit The Un-Mom.

I had a really crappy weekend. Well not so much crappy, as full. So full that I didn't have time to think about all the things that were going on. BUT... when I got off of work on Sunday night, I came home to a surprise that made the weekend wonderful.

See this bag?

It made the front page of Etsy.
I know that doesn't sound like such a big deal to some. But I compare it, an item your auctioning, making the front page of eBay.

And because of it.. I had sales. Yippee. That made my day.

Itty Bit is so funny. Especially when she not trying to be. Sexy Papa decided to catch her on camera, doing this...

And.. as you can see, the hilarity continued. Well at least I thought it was funny.

I will leave you with some funnies I got in my inbox today:
Mans view of women...
I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,
pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,
and still be afraid of a spider.

CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you can be
so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
'The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who
should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, 'You should do it because you get up first,
and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.
The husband said, 'You are in charge of cooking around here and
you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.'
Wife replies, 'No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.'
Husband replies, 'I can't believe that, show me.'
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says
'HEBREWS'

That's all for today folks. Have a good one!

Can You Feel It?

2010-03-11T05:29:00.002-05:00

The cool air lingers less and less. The tulips are starting to peak out, as if checking to make sure the snow is gone. The green is coming. And the sunshine.

It was 70 degrees here yesterday. The windows were wide open. Even if there wasn't much of a breeze, they were still open... all.day.long!

Finally. It's been a rough winter. Not only here, but everywhere. We had more snow this year than in the last 10 years combined. Did I ever mention how much I hate snow?

I need the spring. I need the sunshine, and longer days. Winter is miserable. I am one of those people... the light makes me happy. I don't know how it works, I just know it does.

I was inspired yesterday. I have been locked in the studio for weeks. Trying to make myself feel better. Trying to relieve my troubled heart with creation. Yesterday, I made my way out to the living room to sit next to the open window. And I felt better.

I have a whole pile of stuff to photograph and list. Which I don't much care for. I would rather just create. But alas, I have to get rid of some of this stuff, and replace some of the money in the "fabric fund".

I'll let ya know how it goes. Time to wake the babies.

I Don't Wanna

2010-03-05T06:29:00.002-05:00

I have so much to do today, and I would rather just sew. I have been in a compulsive sewing mood. It really is the thing that makes me happy. I have been making some laptop sleeves and cute new bags. I really like these, because they only take about a 1/2 yard of each fabric. That means I can use all the cute fabrics I have at my store.

I have a whole stack of super fun fabrics to play with. Cupcakes and sweet treats. Some Alexander Henry "apples and pears". Polka dots and swirls.

I would love nothing more than to just sit in the studio all day and work.

But alas, the girls' birthday party is tomorrow. So I must bake a cake. Do some laundry. Mop the kitchen and other general clean up stuff. I also have to go to the store and get the last minute party stuff. But I really don't want to.

In other news, The Constant Chill gave me an award yesterday. I love reading her, she is so funny. But I am too lazy to follow the rules, so I am going to hold off for now. But I do thank her. I love being awarded for my... for my... what the hell is it that I have or am? Well whatever it is, it's nice that people recognize it as something worth awarding. If that makes any sense?

Just ask...

2010-03-04T05:49:00.002-05:00

Let me begin by saying: I am in no way being compensated for this blog post, or any other up to this point. Rather I just wanted to tell you about a good company. Often blogs can be used as a marketing tool, for good and bad. Lets face it, when a company does something wrong, you can find it in blogland. But how often do you read about a good thing, when the blogger is not being paid.

So.... When hubby and I were first married, my Mom bought us a nice Revere Ware pan. 12" non-stick skillet with a lid. I love this pan, because it's so huge. I was so very bummed when my dip-shit SIL scratched it, while washing dishes in a drug induced stupor. But I still loved it.

A couple of weeks ago, the handle to the lid came off. I always thought Revere Ware was a good name in pans. I tried to put it back on, but the threads were stripped.

I took a couple of days to mull it over. Wondering what I could do to reattach the handle. Then I thought, "Well I am a mouthy broad. I'll just email Revere Ware, and see what they say." So I did.
I was nice about it through. I explained that it was my favorite pan, but that the lid was broken. And then I asked them what I should do about it.

3 days later I got a reply:
We are sorry about this. Under the circumstances, we are sending a replacement. Please discontinue using the lid and throw it away once the replacement arrives.

A couple of days after that, Fed-X knocked on my door and delivered a new pan lid. AWESOME!

Now this is not the first time I have contacted a company about a faulty product. I often get a refund or replacement. I am all about taking a product back to the store if it doesn't do what it promises. But I think it's easy to forget that companies want to please their customers. We paid good money for said product, we should get what we paid for. When something goes wrong, there is no harm in asking the company to make it right.

As for me, Thanks Revere Ware, I promise to keep loving your pan!

My Little Itty Bit

2010-02-25T06:29:00.003-05:00

I know, I know, we all say it... But it's true...

Seems like I just brought this thingy dingy home from the hospital...

Seems like only last week that I was so frustrated with the sleepless nights and the endless messes. Cleaning high chairs and bottles and butts...

I would swear she was just learning to walk. And she was just up to my knee.

It's hard to imagine that years ago she celebrated a different birthday with the seals at Grandma's Aquarium.

And now look at Itty Bit....
6 Years old. How the heck did that happen???
Every year, I feel the same... like I turned around and they grew up.

Though this time I fear the only thing that grew was her hair.

This morning she informed me, as we walked to the bus stop, "Mom, 6 year olds don't hold their mother's hand." I'm sorry to inform you, Itty Bit, but you will always be my baby, and I will always hold your hand.

Could you do Mommy a favor, and slow down a little?
Happy Birthday Itty Bit.

Sponge Bob and Other Kids Shows

2010-02-19T05:22:00.004-05:00

I wrote a post over on Real World Venus vs. Mars , with Tysdaddy, yesterday. In it I mentioned that my kids are not allowed to watch certain TV programs, Sponge Bob being one of them. Everyone seemed to be curious as to why. I can imagine, the world being as obsessed with Sponge Bob as they are, that this puzzles some people.

There are actually a lot of characters I don't allow in my house. Bratz, Hello Kitty, Yo Gabba Gabba... Sponge Bob got added to the list a few years ago.
Hubby was sitting watching TV with DQ one sunny afternoon. Sponge Bob was on. No problem right? Well the show had a disturbing twist. See Sponge Bob and some other character thought they had accidentally killed someone. They dealt with this by trying to bury the character. That was the topic of the show. Trying to bury the "dead" guy. Turns out he wasn't really dead. I guess in the writers mind, that made it all right. My husband, on the other hand, did not find it even remotely entertaining. My husband saw all the corrupt morals of the show not to mention the crime of conspiring to cover up a death. Needless to say he was livid, and THAT was the end of Sponge Bob.
I had to agree with him. I never liked the show to begin with. I never saw any good morals or education in it. So I had no hard feelings when it was cut out of our list of acceptable TV.

As for the other shows... I refuse to pay into any character who encourages kids to act... well... Bratty. I get enough of that, I don't need any help. Hello Kitty brings about images of nearly grown women at raves carrying Hello kitty clutches and what not. And Yo Gabba Gabba.... Come on? Could there be a more irritating show on television? It makes me cringe. I can't justify having this fruit loop piped into my living room...!

Still 29 and Holding

2010-02-10T06:25:00.002-05:00

Yesterday was my birthday... Thanks to everyone for the well wishes.

I was kind of bummed out, because everyone was gone. My mom brought me banana bread, which I ate for lunch. She didn't stay long though. Which was OK, because I have been working in the studio lately, and I can't do that if I have company. But she gave me birthday money, which I will promptly use at Joann's!

So I spent most of yesterday with my ear buds in, sewing up a storm. I developed a couple of new patterns. A kindle sleeve, an Iphone/Ipod holder, a stick MP3 player case, and a tea-to-go pouch. Expect to see these and the patterns for them in my etsy shop soon.

I didn't do dishes, or vacuum, or laundry. I played, which was nice.

Then we went to the store. I looked for printable fabric sheets while Sexy Papa, and the girls wandered elsewhere. When we met back up, DQ informed me that Sexy Papa was going to get me a camera for my birthday. I had asked for a new toaster, because ours is old, and I can't get it clean anymore. But she heard me tell my Mom how I really needed a new camera for the business. And that I would give DQ the old one if I got a new one. Well, DQ told Papa about this wish. They went off and looked for cameras.

Then he decided that I should pick the one I want, as he knows nothing about cameras. So this is what I picked.

But of course, when we went to get it from the case, they were out. My second choice was out of stock too. So I will wait for this one. Cuz it's awesome!!! And not even that expensive. Now I can't wait.

So happy birthday to me, this is much better than cake!

Will You People Go Away Please

2010-02-04T05:27:00.003-05:00

I... am not a complicated woman. I don't ask for much in life. But in order to maintain my sanity, I need a little peace and quiet, at least once in a while.

Itty Bit was sick last week. As in, she was sick Mon, Tues, Wed and Thursday. So she was home with me. Kirsten and Brian left on Tuesday. So Wed wasn't so bad. Just me and Itty Bit. Thursday, the kids had a half day. Which meant I had my 2 plus the extra 2 I watch when they have no school. Friday and Monday were scheduled teacher work days, so they would have no school. I was going crazy enough, just thinking about a house full of kids on those days...

But it started snowing early Sat. morning. And it kept snowing all day. Which was OK, because it was the weekend. And they were off Monday so no big deal. Sexy Papa couldn't make it to work on Monday, but he did try. Monday evening, the school system called with the automated "There will be no school tomorrow" message. OK, so they are out on Tuesday too. I understand, the roads were still sheets of ice.

It warmed up slightly, and started raining Tuesday afternoon. That was good, because it would melt the rest of what was on the ground, and things would get back to normal on Wed. I had hope, until the School called again to say there would be no school on Wed either. This, I just could not understand. By Tuesday evening, I was loosing my patience. Stuck in the house with bickering kids, 12 hours a day.

Yesterday was absolutely no fun. I felt horrible all day. I had a migraine and no Motrin. And.. I had 4 kids, who were wound to the core, bored and fighting. The novelty of "Snow Days" had long worn off. I spent the day trying to keep them from beating the crap out of each other. Someone said something like "I hope we don't have to go to school tomorrow" To which I answered, "If you guys don't go to school tomorrow, I may be forced to jump off of a bridge."

Around dinner time, the phone rang. It was the School System, again. The kids have been out of school for so long, that they called to tell us to send our kids to school Thursday. Oh thank to Gods above. After I hung up, I threatened anyone who dared to be sick, with bodily harm.

Well, it's 6am, Thursday morning. Time to get those girls up and ready for school. Then... for the rest of the day, I am not doing a damn thing. Yay for school!!!

One For The Record Books

2010-01-30T06:48:00.003-05:00

The news has been predicting snow all week. Starting early in the week with "We may get snow this weekend". Each day the predictions grew bigger and bigger. Until yesterday, when they were warning us all of 6-12 inches. Now to most of you, this doesn't seem like such a big deal. It doesn't even seem like a big deal to me. As I am used to 2 FEET of snow, having lived in Detroit and all. But here in S.E. Virginia, it's another story.

Sexy Papa, and my neighbor both reported, yesterday evening, that the grocery stores were a nightmare. Everyone has decided that the end of the world is coming, and we must all hoard food, or beer, whichever.

I woke up a little after 5am to hear the "Special New Coverage" of this snow event. They have called in all their reporters, and the top meteorologist to report on the white stuff. The reporters on the street are making snowballs, and promise to keep working on them throughout the morning.

Every time we even get a dusting, I have to laugh. People here are fascinated by it. It can be scary, because most people here don't know how to drive in it. But some of them will give it the old college try, usually failing horribly.

I personally hate the stuff. Why do you think I moved away from MI? I hate snow. But I especially hate it when it snows HERE! Because everything will be closed all weekend. I will be trapped in the house, there will be no escape. And I won't get to work. Most people wouldn't mind an extra day off work. But I personally don't think snow is worth staying home for. At least in MI, snow didn't affect my pay check.

On the other hand, Sexy Papa and the girls will be in heaven. We haven't had snow like this in at least 6 years. Itty Bit has never seen snow like this, and DQ can't wait to "Wake up to see if it snows". I have a prediction of my own: They will play in it for all of 10 minutes, and then come in because they are cold. Strip all their clothing off to get dry, and demand hot chocolate. They will repeat this every 2 hours for the entire weekend. Which means, I will be doing lots of laundry. Oh YAY!

~~~UPDATE~~~
Hey, guess what? I got a call this morning, asking if I could work today? Joann's home office is in Ohio, so they said "It's just a couple of inches" Well since I am from MI and I live around the corner, I worked open to close. 10am to 1pm. I know, long shift right? They decided to close down early. AND... if they decide to open tomorrow, I will work open to close then too. So bonus, I may get extra hours, instead of loosing them all!

On to the Next One

2010-01-29T06:58:00.002-05:00

Dear Sexy Papa,

You are spending way to much money. I know you are miserable, and spending this money makes you feel better. I get that, I really do. But when I tell you I have to go to the grocery store for cereal, then you ask why the kids can't eat oatmeal, because we don't have any cash.... that's a problem.

Your anger and refusal to answer when I asked "how much you spent this week" tells me that it was A LOT! If you spent so much money, that even you think it's too much to tell me about, than I am certain I would flip out if I knew. That you would say to me "I didn't realize I needed keep receipts and account for every penny" speaks volumes.

Husband of mine, I love you. But if you don't get it under control, I may be forced to smack you with a frying pan.

Open Letters

2010-01-28T06:42:00.002-05:00

Dear Kirsten,

I don't think I have ever hated someone so much in all my life. But then I have never met anyone as awful as you. I still can't wrap my head around, how someone can be so cruel. You are a disgrace to the title "Mother".

Did you really think we were going to let you sit on our couch and be high? I swear my husband told you that I was going to be a police officer, until I destroyed my knee. You might have guessed that I was a law abiding citizen based on that alone.

We have figured out why your so desperate to hold on to your son. No one will give you a place to live, if you aren't dragging a child behind you. I guess your not as dumb as you look.

We know all your secrets. You are a junkie. And that you would sleep with someone to get their drugs, makes you a junkie whore. And by the way, I told The Asshole, over the phone, all about your night out while you were here.

The only reason you still have those 2 teeth left in your mouth is because I have babies to consider. Their mommy doesn't need to go to jail. If it wasn't for them I would have gladly done an overnight in the cell, just to beat you into the ground. Your Mom said she would post my bail.

When was the last time you hugged your son and told him that you love him? I did it everyday while he was here. And guess what? He knows that he is loved here. He didn't want to go with you. He told his uncle that he didn't want to leave.

I know about all the illegal things you guys have done. I know you have been getting tax refunds for the last 2 years, even though neither one of you has worked. I know the name of the lady who did them for you, and I am turning everyone in! There is already a case opened regarding the Social Security medical benefit cards you stole. Those 2 things alone are felony offenses on a federal level.

You, my dear, had better watch your back. Because I am coming for ya. And if I have my way, you and your Asshole will be in jail, and I will be taking that boy from you.

OK, well I must run. Time to call Assholes Doctors to let them know he is selling all the narcotics they are prescribing to him.

****************************************************

Dear Little Brian,

You are loved. You should never forget that there are people in this world who love you. I am sorry you have to go through this at such a young age.

Please remember that none of this is your fault.

We miss you, the girls miss you. We were all very sad when you left. I have not stopped crying for you. Your uncle is heartbroken.

We didn't want your Mom to take you. We begged her to let you stay. But there was nothing we could do to stop her.

Please understand that we are doing everything we can to get you back. We will never give up on you. It may take a little while, but one day soon, we will come for you. We will bring you home. Back to your friends, back to your family, back to your school. One day soon, you will be free. Free to make mud pies and blow up army men. Free from worrying about your mom, and trying to keep her awake. One day soon you will get to be a little boy.

My dear sweet boy, my bright red headed angel. I will pray for you, everyday, until I have you in my arms again. Don't forget that we love you. Please hold on. Aunt Missy is coming for you.

Sad News

2010-01-26T18:23:00.002-05:00

Kirsten has decided to go back to philadelphia. We wouldn't let her be high in our home. We kept taking her drugs away. Asshole just got his new supply of narcotics. So she took Brian and went back. We begged her to leave Brian, but she would not.
I did call child protective services and open a case. They said they will work with philly to figure out what is best for Brian.
Asshole's mother and brother both called today. They are trying to have Kirsten and The Asshole arrested. They wanted to know if we could take physical custody of Brian and then file for permanent custody of him when he gets back. Hubby and I said we will do whatever we can to get him from his parents. We said we will drop everything and drive up to get him, whenever they are ready.
Hubby is going to file assault charges on Kirsten and then get a protective order. Then we are going to see if we can start the custody case now, since Brian is still enrolled in a VA school. We don't know what's going to happen, the best we can do is try.
We are hopeful that we can get him back. I just wanted to let everyone know.

Thanks to everyone for their well wishes and prayers for my family. I can feel the support from my blog readers, and it is greatly appreciated.

Blogs Are Good For Something

2010-01-25T08:45:00.000-05:00

As it turns out, all the bitching and moaning I have been doing here, on the blog, is going to be very helpful to me when it comes time to get custody of the boy. Now, without much effort, I have a record of events that have happened so I can show the judge.

So you'll have to excuse me while I document what happened over the weekend...

Thursday my hubby didn't have to work. So he put the bunk bed together for them. While in the middle of that Kirsten stuck her hand in his face, to show him a set of rings, "Look what I got!" He went off again.
A little back story about the rings: These rings have been in hubby's family for a long time. Hubby still wears the mans ring. They were the set we got married with. While Hubby and I were separated, I didn't know if we would be getting back together. Since they belonged to his family, I gave them back to MIL, out of respect. I asked that she hold them, until our situation was resolved. Hubby and I had a falling out with MIL, a couple of years ago, and until all this crap happened hadn't done much to resolve it. Which is why she still had the rings. Kirsten asked me about the rings one day. I told her what had happened, and that I was bummed not to have them. That her mother still had them, and I had not gotten around to getting them back. She also talked to Hubby about the rings. He expressed the same dismay at not having them. MIL gave her a couple of rings the day she got out of rehab, including my wedding rings.

She was trying to push his buttons and it worked. He flipped. She was saying "Mom said they were mine and gave them to me." I got him calmed down again, and told him "Your mom probably has a different story. Lets call her." So I did. And MIL said "She told me that you said I had them and she would have to get them from me. I thought you wanted her to have them." I explained to MIL what had actually happened. Then MIL was mad, because she had been conned.
MIL came over and had her say. Told her exactly what was on her mind. And it wasn't good. Kirsten made a big stink about the rings. MIL said "I gave those to my son, to give to HIS wife, and you lied to me to get them." Kirsten looked right at me and said "I'm sorry, if I had been around at the time, you would have been in the hospital." I said "Seriously, what the hell is wrong with you? Your gonna beat the hell out of someone who has nothing to do with it?" I took it as a direct threat. That was her way of saying she could beat the hell out of me, and didn't need much of a reason to do it.
MIL pulled me aside and said something about holding her down to get the rings off her hand. I said I wasn't going to jail for assault. And we could wait until she went to jail and they took them from her.
Nothing was resolved that afternoon. But at least MIL got to say her piece. She asked ahead of time that hubby stay out of it, and he was very good. He stayed in the bedroom until the end.

Later that night, Kirsten was sitting and talking to Itty Bit. She said to her "Man, I wish I could have had a kid as good as you." Her son was sitting right there, and the look on his face... he was crushed.

Friday was a pretty calm day. I had made arrangements with my MIL for ALL the kids to go spend the night with her. They could all use a break from this drama. I told Kirsten about it and that I was going to take them, when Hubby got home.

Around noon, I felt a migraine coming on, so I told her "I have a headache, so I am going to go lay down for a little bit." No sooner did I drift off to sleep, than she knocked on my door. "I'm gonna walk to the corner store, can you do me a favor?" I said, while blocking my eyes from the light, "What?" "If Jason calls, can you tell him I will meet him here?" So I asked "When... are you going to meet him here? He's coming tonight to take you to an NA meeting, right?" "No," she says, "In just a little bit. He's coming over to hang out with me." To which I replied with a groan, and slammed to door in her face.

Then I called hubby... "I thought you told her she wasn't allowed to have any guests over to our house?" "I did." He and I were on the same page. No way in hell was she bringing some dude she met at rehab to my house. Not when my kids were going to be home in about an hour. Not when my husband wasn't here. Hell no! He was still ranting on the phone when she got back, so I gave the phone to her. By the time I got the phone back, she was convinced this would not be a good idea.

A few minutes later I heard her on the phone with her mom... "Yeah, I got his bag packed. No, as soon as he gets here, Brian and I are leaving. She can send whoever she wants after me, I don't give a fuck." After she got off the phone, I called MIL to see what was going on. She said apparently, Kirsten and Brian would be coming to her house, as soon as Brian got home, and that this new boyfriend of hers would be driving them. I said "You know what? Whatever! As long as they are coming to your house... I'll bring the girls when Hubby gets home."

Around dinner time, the guy called "Is Kristen there?" "You mean Kirsten?" I said. "Hold on" I went and banged on her door... "Some dude is on the phone asking for Kristen." "Oh, that's me" she said.
I am thinking, you want to put your son in a truck with some junkie, who doesn't even know your name? Jesus Christ. No danger of you being awarded mother of the year.
She came out into the living room, still talking on the phone. "No, you need to get your ass out here. Well why the hell did you take that when you knew what we were doing? I don't care... Well just drive out here, and I will drive when you get here.... Try my ass, you better."

She asked me for a key. I asked why? She said because she didn't know what time she would be coming home. I said she could call when she got here, I would let her in, but I was not giving her a key.

He did finally show up. And to his credit, he honked for them to come out. Because I was just waiting for him to come to the door. I was going to be polite, because it's not his fault, but he was NOT coming in my house. They left. I tried to get a look at the truck so I could call the cops, but I couldn't see well enough.

Shortly after they left, hubby got home, and I left with the girls. I arrived first at Grandma's house. We were all settled in when they got there. The boyfriend came in with her. Now I am not one to judge a person by the way they look. Really, who am I to speak, when I am covered in tattoos myself, but this guy looked scary. Holes in his ears big enough to put my pinky through. Tattoos on his neck. I can only imagine what Brian is thinking about this guy who is taking his dad's place.

I was supposed to drop the girls off and meet hubby at the house so we could go on a date. No kids=date night. But Kirsten and Jason stayed at MIL's house. So I did too. There was no way I was leaving my kids there with her and this guy. The NA meeting they were supposedly going to was at 8pm. They finally left around 9:30? So much for the meeting.

Hubby and I slept in Sat. morning. It was nice. The phone did not ring in the middle of the night. No one banged on the door. I got up and started cleaning house to get ready for our "After Christmas" party we were hosting that night. A little before 10 am, she came hopping through the door. And when I say hopping, I don't mean like in a giddy good mood. I mean her body was literally jumping up and down.
I don't know what she was on, but she was high on something. Then she started telling me this story about how she spent the night in his truck in front of her mom's house. Dude was passed out and she couldn't get him to wake up. And she didn't know how to get back here, so she just stayed there. And that she finally gave up in the morning, and drove to the gas station to get coffee, and ask for directions back to the house. So I said, "Well you were in front of your mom's house, why didn't you ask her?" She said "Oh, he had to pee last night, so we drove to a place so he could go, cuz I didn't want to knock on mom's door again. Then we couldn't find our way back, so we slept behind some storage place." Hubby came out in the middle of this story. "I drove home, cuz that mother fucker is still passed out in his truck." "Where in his truck?" I asked "In the court" she answered. Oh that was it, Hubby started yelling again. About her being high again, about her boyfriend being passed out in front of the house, about her being out all night, and not being able to tell the truth about anything.

I went out to check on the guy. When I walked back in the house she said "Is it OK, the way the truck is parked out there?" I said "No, it's not OK. Your junkie boyfriend is passed out in his truck, in front of my house, in front of my neighbors. So no, it's not OK!" She didn't say anything.

Hubby and I had to errands to run. As we left, we wrote down the info about this guys truck.
When we got back, the truck was gone, and she was in her room. I assumed she was sleeping off the night before, so I cranked up the radio, and put the sub woofer right on her bedroom wall. Then I went to get the kids.

When I got home, hubby was jammin out to the radio, having a good ole' time cooking. He loves to cook. She had still not come out of her room. My family started arriving around 5. We had a good time. Brian was out with us, and he behaved like an angel. I warned her ahead of time, I was not putting up with her crap today. She never showed her face. Everything was wonderful. I was happy for the first time in months.

Sunday morning, I went to work. When I got home, hubby had been fighting with her again. He explained, what had happened. He was talking to her, and noticed that she was not wearing the rings. When he asked her, she said she hid them at Mom's house, and she wasn't going to tell anyone where they were. He asked her for the pawn ticket. Then he got on the phone with his mom to tell her what Kirsten said about the rings.
Mom was in agreement, that they had probably been pawned, and was ready to go look for them.
It occurred to me that Kirsten couldn't pawn anything, because she doesn't have an ID. So if they were pawned the boyfriend would have done it for her, and we don't know what his last name is. Needless to say, her Mom is furious. I am thinking about turning her room upside down to look for the ticket. I have already tried to call "Jason", but I can't get a hold of him.

While I was talking to MIL, she brought up having Kirsten committed. I said, "You know what? That makes sense. Cuz that girl is a whack job. To do the things she does, you would have to be insane." Then I mentioned that I have a detailed account of events typed out. Turns out that this blog is going to be a great tool in getting custody of Brian.

She spent the weekend screaming at her kid. Threatening to beat him. Hubby kept stepping in and saying "Do you really think that is the way you need to be talking to your son?" She apologized to hubby, but not to her son.

It's Monday morning now, and Itty Bit is sick again. Of course. She had a high fever last night, so she isn't in school today. I don't know whats going on with her. Seems she is popping up with something every week. Maybe she should have spent some time in daycare as a baby?

OK, well as you can imagine, I have another full day of stuff to do. I'll keep ya posted!

The Day It All Ends

2010-01-21T10:30:00.001-05:00

We have decided... That she is not welcome. Problem is, The Boy deserves someone to fight for him. Someone to do whats in his best interest.

Riddle me this: You have been away from your child for 6 full days. What is the first thing you do when you get out? Decide he can wait a couple more hours, even after you told him what time you would be home? Go shopping with your Mom? Well, I guess that makes sense if your a selfish drug addict.

At this point I am writing about it to make myself feel better, to get it off my chest. I don't need anyone to tell me to get rid of her. We are doing just that. Maybe it's just a record of events. Whatever the case, I just have to get it out.

She got here, 5 hours after she was released. And the only thing she had to say about her stay there:
"Has anyone called for me?" and I said "no" Then she says, "Oh, cuz I met someone in there. I really like him." Seriously, what the fuck?

Before I begin, let me preface this by saying: I talked to the nurse on her unit. Patients are encouraged to do Family Therapy. When I inquired about it, they said she refused. I asked why? The nurse said she didn't know, but Kirsten told her she would call me to talk about it. To which I said "I can guess why. She has no intentions of getting off drugs. Then the nurse said "That would be a very good guess." Now I know they can't tell me about what is going on with Kirsten. She is an adult. But the way I heard what the nurse said, and her tone, I understood that they feel like Kirsten is not ready to recover.
Then I talked to her case worker. He indicated that they are ready to call it a lose. They paid for her stay in rehab. But she wanted narcotic drugs and they would not pay for those. We were both in agreement, that Kirsten has no intention of stopping, and that she went to the hospital to shut us up. We were also both in agreement, that she wanted her own legal script for narcotics. And she is pissed because she didn't get them.

She wasn't here 2 hours, before it became clear to us, she has no intentions of following our house rules, or making her son follow our house rules.
We had just finished dinner. My husband was trying to put together a bed that my mother in law bought for them. She gave Brian a package of cookies. My husband said to him, he had just finished dinner, and that he didn't need a treat right now. (Besides the breaking the rules about treats, there was not enough for all the kids. My girls would have been upset, that AGAIN, he gets to do stuff they don't get to do.) He went into the bedroom and cried to his mom.
She flipped the fuck out, and started yelling:
"Your uncle can't tell you what to do! I don't give a fuck what they say. Your my fucking son. I can give you a treat if I want to."
That, was hubby's last straw. He marched in there, and said "Fine then, you can get out of my house." The arguing carried out into the living room. Where it escalated into screaming. When she got up in his face, he pushed her down to sit on the couch. She wigged, got up and tried to scratch out his eyes. And that is when the last of his restraint went out the door. He never hit her, but that is because I managed to get between them. I pulled him back. Her mother sat on her. It took every bit of strength I had to keep him from getting at her. His face was bleeding, and he was enraged.
And she... kept trying to bait him. Screaming at him, hit me bitch, your goin' to fucking jail. I'm calling the cops, your ass is going to jail. MIL and I managed to get them calmed down. But she is refusing to leave. "All my clothes are here. I ain't going no where."
Now I am a pretty calm these days. I see no point in yelling, when you can I the same thing without raising my voice. I said that it was painfully clear that she has no intention of respecting our home and following our rules.
Something was said about My telling my husband what the rehab nurse said. She pointed across the room at me and said "Then she is a fuckin' liar."
Then the conversation got heated again. My husband said somethings she didn't like, and she started going off again: "Oh I'm gonna hit the mother fucker." Which of course pushed hubby further over the edge: "You hit me and I am gonna knock the last 2 teeth out of the front of your mouth." And that is what she really wanted. She was screaming at him "Hit me I fuckin dare ya. Come on hit me." She was trying to push him over the edge so she could have him taken to jail. So what did he do? Picked her ass up and tossed her out the front door.

Once she was out, Brian got his coat and shoes on. Grabbed the blanket I made for him, and went outside with her. Then Me and Hubby and my mother in law had a chance to calm down and talk. MIL and I are in agreement... We can at least save the child.... And at that moment, Kirsten was taking the child with her, out in the cold rain. Since Kirsten can not go to MIL's house, because of all the prescription drugs there, we let her go back to her room. She kept trying to pick at my husband, and get him to react. He tried his best to get her to back off and go away. Saying we are all in a calm place right now... we can talk about it tomorrow.

At this moment, we are trying to figure out the best way to get custody of the child. I am waiting for my Mother in law to come over. She says she has some things to say to Kirsten.

Hopefully today, we will have a better idea of what we need to do.

RTT: Chaos

2010-01-19T08:32:00.002-05:00

I have so much going on right now, and so many decisions to make, it only seems fitting that it's Tuesday. I know, I know, I haven't been around for RTT as of late, but I got good reasons, M'k---

For more random insanity, head over to see The Un Mom. She has the hook-up on all the looney tunes.

OK... To start, lets just tackle the big one:
Should I give SIL a chance, or should I have her arrested? Why would I have my SIL arrested? Go HERE for the long version. Or you could just take my word that she is psycho.

So here's the thing. I don't want her in my house. Especially since I found out that she cut up her last roommate with a kitchen knife. As far as I can tell I have 2 options:
After she gets out of rehab, let her come back here for one more chance. Which will probably end in someone getting hurt, and the other someone going to jail.
Or have her picked up at the rehab and avoid the whole damn thing. Making the custody situation a whole lot easier.

My Christmas tree is still up. Yeah I know, that in itself is, insane. I been busy OK? I have high hopes of getting it taken down today.

I still have tons of laundry. Problem is I am out of laundry soap now. Shit!

Itty Bit is home today. She is feeling better, but I wanted to give her a day to get back to 100%. On second thought, maybe I won't get that tree down today.

My house is a wreck again. I don't know how this keeps happening. I am not a "Sit at home on your ass, watching soaps and eating Bon Bons, type of person. I clean... everyday... seemingly, without results. It just never ends. I couldn't imagine what this place would look like if I wasn't home all day.

Asshole (SIL's Boyfriend) hasn't called in 3 days. Which tells me she called him from rehab. Hubby and I are pretty sure they are plotting something. No way to tell what it might be!

I think I need a Girl's Night Out. I think I need to get so drunk that I can't function the next day. All it would take is 3 glasses of wine. Who's with me?

We are hosting the "After Christmas, Christmas Party" on Saturday. My family was scattered throughout the country at the holidays. I still have presents for everyone. But I said they would have to come to the party to get them. Further proof that I am insane.

And lastly, SIL has an open warrant. Depending on the severity of the charge, I may be knowingly harboring a fugitive.

Good Monday Morning

2010-01-18T06:08:00.002-05:00

Today should prove to be another long day... but in a good way. If your insane and like to torture yourself. The kiddos have no school, so they will be here all day. All 5 of them. It's more the kind of chaos I am used to. I did it all winter break, so today should be no sweat...

... unless it is. Itty Bit woke me before 5 this morning with my all-time favorite childhood words: " I puked all over my bed." Add all those things to the pile of laundry that needs to get done today... On second thought, put those right in the washer!

Have a good Monday everyone!

Dirty Oras

2010-01-17T07:58:00.002-05:00

I think I may need to go have my Ora cleansed. I have been surrounded by so many negative things as of late it is making me depressed.

I had one of my world famous stomach aches last night. Which sucks because I really needed to be up and alert today. I have a baby shower to go to this afternoon. And with things they way they have been, I haven't been able to finish the quilt I am making for her. Of course, I didn't have anything to help with the stomach ache. I tried to sleep sitting up on the couch for a while, but it's didn't work. It hurt so bad I almost couldn't breath. So I finally gave in and drove to the Drug store at 4 am.

Now I have to get my ass in gear and try to finish this gift. I am excited to go though. Because she had the baby early, and that means I get to play with a brand new baby today!

I Don't Understand

2010-01-16T08:32:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, as previously mentioned, was no fun for me. I spent more than 5 solid hours, cleaning out their room. I might not have bothered, but Brian needs a clean safe place to sleep.

I wished I had toxic waste sized rubber gloves. But seeing as I don't have any of those, I washed my hands a whole lot yesterday. First thing first, I pulled out our air mattress. To see if I could find the hole, and maybe hubby could patch it. Keeping in mind that it's practically new, I didn't want to just trash it.

Now, on the ride to rehab, Kirsten's mother asked her if she would like an air mattress for their room. Kirsten said yes. Mom said she would go buy her one. There was a pause, and then I said "we gave them an almost new air mattress when they got here. But it's deflated now." To which Kirsten says "Yeah, Asshole said it got a hole in it when it caught a nail on the wall, and we just couldn't find it, so I gave up."

So imagine my surprise when I pulled the thing out from all the crap on the floor to find a huge white "patch" job. Because, you know, they couldn't find the leak. So since that patch job obviously hadn't done the trick I started trying to pull it off. They had used an entire, brand new, tube of industrial strength glue, along with medical bandages, packing tape, one of my dish gloves (I was wondering where that went) and a whole roll of medical tape. The borrowed the glue from my husband a couple of weeks ago. But when he asked what they needed it for, they wouldn't say. If they had, he could have told them, that wasn't what they needed. It's the kind of glue that eats through soft plastic and other assorted things.
What did I find, after picking and peeling all that crap off of there... A nice big cigarette burn... straight through the top. So yeah, I bet the damn thing leaks. But these people have been so used to blaming things on everyone else, it doesn't even occur to them to tell the truth. Because of the patch job they did, the mattress is no longer fixable at all.

I did go through EVERYTHING that was in the room. Trash, dirty clothes mixed with clean. (I am now in the process of washing everything) Empty beer bottles. Cigarette burns in everything. I was trying to clean it up for Brian, and look for anything illegal.
While going through a large bag which contained her make up, a roach came out to say HI to me. I squealed, picked the bag up with 2 fingers, ran it through the house, and threw it out the front door. Oh HELL NO! My husband wants to know what I am going to say to her about the make up bag being outside. My first thought is 'If there was a roach in my bag I wouldn't want any of that shit.' So I said "I'll tell ya what, when she pays me back the hundred or so dollars for the air mattress they ruined, I will replace her make-up."

Yesterday was another day of shocking discoveries. Lets run through the list of fun stuff

The order of protection on Kirsten from her last roommate with an affidavit:

Kirsten was stealing from my house and I caught her. She came up behind me and hit me in the back of my head. Her foot tangled up with my foot and we both tumbled to the ground. I tried to get up and she had me by my hair. She had a knife in her hand and was trying to cut my face. I have cuts on my hands and arms trying to block her. She cut me a few times on my face and neck. I tried to hold her down. Her kids father started kicking me. Her 7 year old son was kicking me and swinging a metal pipe at me. My 6 year old son knocked it out of his hands. The police came but could not make her leave. My landlord tried to get her out by calling the police and she swung a bat at me and my son.

Well that sounds like a party.

I found out that Kirsten does have an open warrant. For what I am not sure. But she knows about it.
I found out that Asshole has, not 1 but 2 aliases that he uses. I found a copy of hospital ER papers with his first name and date of birth, but someone elses last name.
I found prescription receipts from 2 different doctors, one in Philly and the other in Jersey. I decided that Asshole is drug shopping, and that's how they have so many pills. Getting them from 2 different Doctors in 2 different states.
I found other peoples social security numbers.
3 other peoples social security medical benefit cards.
I found teenie tiny zipper bags... the kind drug dealers would use to package crack or heroin. Lots of them.

But what really pissed me off... after all that crap....
More drugs. I kind of suspected that the time she spent "detoxing" on my couch wasn't as miserable as she was claiming. I had a feeling that she was still high on something... After my, more thorough, search turned up drugs in her sons duffel bag, I became irate. She laid on that fucking couch for 4 days, treating me like shit, yelling about being miserable and being a basic pain in the ass. And I... let her get away with it, because I felt bad for her. When I really wanted to choke her. She all but blamed me for the way she felt. Trying to make me feel like shit. When in fact, we had not taken all of her drugs, and she knew it. I can't prove it, but I would bet a good amount of money that she was high the whole fucking time!!!

My husband does not want to deal with her anymore. I don't know what we are going to do now. He is over it. He wants her out. He doesn't want her to come back.

As for me... I don't understand. What is it that made you turn into such a piece of shit? What happened to you in your life that was so bad you had to become a drug addict? You think your special...? Oh boo hoo, you had a rough life. You think I didn't get the shit beat out of me on a daily basis until my biological mother became bored with me and gave me up to the state? I spent 6 years as a ward of the state, bouncing around to Psych wards and group homes and detention centers until I landed in foster care. You think I haven't had a crappy life? Don't you dare think that I didn't have a good idea about sex at a very young age, because I did. I was sexually abused as a small child, and sexually assaulted as a teenager. Don't you dare think that I haven't spent my fair share of time on the streets, because I have. And I have seen some shit in my life. You don't see me getting high to "deal" with my problems! I choose not to let those things, that I had no control over, that Other People did to me, rule me or dictate how I live my life. I realized early on that using those bad things as an excuse to pity myself, meant the abusers still had control over me. As far as I can tell, being the way you are is a choice. You choose to live like this. And the why... I just don't understand.

Dawn of a New Day

2010-01-15T08:00:00.000-05:00

Relief, sweet relief. I think I actually slept last night... with both eyes closed.... for the first time in weeks.

We finally got the call yesterday. Of course it came an hour before the kiddos got off the bus. So I called MIL to take us down there, and my Mom to come sit with the kids. And off we went... to rehab.

That was an interesting day...
The day I found out that my sister in law does heroin when she can't get a hold of her drug of choice. That was one hell of a revelation. I also found out that Asshole had no problems knocking her around. I told her "Don't let your brother find out about that." We suspected, but had no confirmation of abuse.
We were down there with her for a couple of hours. When they finally took her up to the unit, and MIL and I walked out the front doors... I broke into tears. Not because I was sad for her. I did feel bad that she had to detox at home... but I have accepted that she did this to herself. No... I broke down because I could finally breathe. I have been holding my breath, waiting, walking around on egg shells...

Brian was good for me. But then I suspect that's because he knows, he has no choice. With few exceptions, he did what I asked him to do. His mother expressed to me that "He is going to flip out." But he was angelic, by his standards.
After I got the girls settled in, I explained to him that his mom was sick, and that the Doctors were helping to make her better. He seemed a little concerned when he realized she was going to be gone for at least a couple of days. But I explained that when she is feeling better, she will be able to be a better mommy to him. And that until then, he has me and his uncle. We will keep him safe, and provide all the things he needs. I told him if he has any questions, or just wants to talk to someone, I am always available. He was asleep, snoring to beat the band by 8:45.

He slept through the night, on our couch. We left our bedroom door open so we could keep an ear on him. I had no problems getting everyone up and out the door. There were no fights about what he was going to wear, or whether or not he was going to wear his play shoes to school. Absolute cooperation. It was beautiful.

I have another long day ahead of me. I have to call child protective services, to see about getting temporary custody, until his mom comes home. At this point if Asshole wants him, I have no choice but to turn him over.
I also need to, at least start, cleaning up their bedroom. Asshole threw shit everywhere, looking for his stuff, when we kicked him out. And Kirsten has been to high or depressed to clean any of it up. Plus I need to get the deflated air mattress out of there and try to patch the burn holes. It's not going to be a fun day.

So I am off. I hope everyone has a good day. I am thinking that I will.

I am surrounded by drug addicts

2010-01-14T07:45:00.000-05:00

If you have been reading along with the story, The Joys of Life, you know that my world has been turned upside down. We have been waiting for a detox bed for my SIL. And we are still waiting.

The intake person, who I have been in constant contact with, is baffled by the delay. He says, in the 8 years that he has been doing this job, he has never had this problem before. After 3 days of waiting, he scrambled to find her some other resource of help. He called late yesterday afternoon to inform me that ALL the beds in the entire region are full. There is no space for her anywhere. So apparently, my area is saturated with drug addicts. Maybe they all made the same New Years resolution... to get clean?

Whatever the case maybe, it's not going well. She asked me yesterday if she could have some of her methadone. She was not happy when I told her it had been destroyed. A short while later, she asked if my husband had anymore Vicodin, I checked he doesn't. They had already stolen most of them. Then she asked if my friend, who didn't finish her prescription, had any. I have nothing for her.

Brian spent the day antagonizing the girls. This little shit had the nerve to lean over and whisper in DQ's ear "I got candy last night and you didn't" He is mean and spiteful. He says things to piss them off. He will stand in the hall way, where his mother can't see him, with one of their toys and make faces at them.
I have been trying to be patient with him. I know he has had a rough time of it. But something occurred to me yesterday: He is capable of behaving. When neither of his parents are around and he has to answer to me, he can behave. He does, for the most part, behave when it's only me.

Something else occurred to me last night: She has no intention of making him follow our house rules. Last night, the kids were getting ready for bed. He showered and brushed his teeth, then went into the girls room and started playing with their toys. DQ tried to tell him, that it was bed time and he needed to get out of their room. When he wouldn't move, she came and got me to make him leave. I told him and he started collecting his toys to leave. When I went back into the living room, he was sitting on the floor, in front of his mother, playing with all the same toys he was using in the room. Their Toys!!! So I told him it was bedtime and he needed to put the girls' toys back in their room. He looked at his mom, and I looked at him... he said "my mom said I could play until bedtime." I could tell she wasn't happy about it, but she told him to take the toys back. He took most of them back. When I came out again, he had 1 more toy, that very obviously, was not his. We argued over it for only a second, and then I just walked up and took it.
After dropping the toy off, I walked back into my room and slammed the door. And I kept slamming doors until she finally got up and took him to bed. But not before asking me if I had anymore of those sleeping pills. Whatever! All I said was "Nope."

I am tired. I am on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I am running my house hold, and trying to manage her family as well. Spending all day on the phone for her. From the moment I wake up every morning, I spend every ounce of energy trying to keep everyone happy and calm. And for what? Everyone is miserable.

She doesn't want to get clean. She is only doing it because she has no choice. She said it to the person in the hospital when they asked why she felt like now was the time to get clean.

All three girls are at the end of their rope. They no longer see any benefit in being nice to Brian. So they have become nasty and snide. They don't want to play with him, and they don't care who hears them protest. My sweet, angelic, well behaved little girls, will never be the same. They have both changed for the worst. They are angry and resentful. Because when Brian does something like, sit on Itty Bit's legs, because she is laying on the couch... Kirsten tells HER she should be sitting up. Does she say anything to Brian? NO. Of course she doesn't do that shit in front of me. I have to hear all of this second hand. If she thought she was in the right, why doesn't she correct my kids in front of me?

And my husband... has been hiding in our bedroom. He is angry about the way things are going. He is acting frustrated. But is he doing any of the work to maintain this household? No. He doesn't have to deal with his sisters shitty attitude. She spends all day acting like I did this to her. No God damn it. I didn't get your ass hooked on drugs.

She asked me yesterday if Asshole has called at all? I said, yes he has, and left it at that. She said she needs to talk to him. I ignored her. Sorry... it's my phone, my house, I pay the bills and we don't accept phone calls from drug dealers. He knows where she is, and that she needs money. He had said he would send her some. But shocker, shocker, nothing has arrived yet.

Alright, Itty Bit has a DR. appointment today. So I have to get her ready for that. Everyone cross your fingers that a bed opens up for Kirsten today.

The Joys of Life: Part 7

2010-01-13T09:37:00.000-05:00

Currently, the story has pretty much caught up to real time.
Previously on The Joys of Life:
Kirsten agrees to go to rehab...

Let me start by saying... I talked to a nurse friend of mine, and asked her about the drugs Kirsten said she was taking. She advised that I should not take them from her without a DR. supervising. It could send her into cardiac arrest. Otherwise, we would have just taken everything...

Want to know if your a serious drug addict:
If you have a large 2nd degree burn under your chin, and you have no idea how you got it...
YOU MIGHT BE A DRUG ADDICT!!!

I searched, for a couple of hours. Looking for a rehab program where she could detox safely. I would love to have the money to pay for a posh rehab... but alas, I don't. Finding a community service rehab was a bit of a challenge, but I did.

We were there bright and early Thursday morning. We saw an intake person. Thank God I went back with her. She was not ready to fess up to all the drugs she is taking. While she told my husband and I she was taking Xanax and Methadone, she told a different story to the intake person. She said she was taking Oxycontin. And that was it. So I asked (even though I already knew) if Oxycontin was the same thing as Xanax. Then she had to fess up about that. And they talked for a bit, and the lady asked if there was anything else... she said no... I said, "what about the methadone?" Then she had to fess up to that.

When they got the whole story, or most of it, about what she was on, and how much she was taking, they wanted to admit her, to a hospital, right then. She refused. They said there was an outpatient program that offered SUBOXONE, which is a drug to help you get off methadone, which, by the way, is the drug to help you get off heroin. It's looney, I know. Anyway, there is a program for that, but there is a waiting list. As much as 6 weeks.

She refused to go into the hospital. She wanted to wait for the outpatient. Which really means, she is not ready to quit yet. And that would give her 6 more weeks of being high. I DON'T THINK SO! A supervisor came in to talk to me. She told me to turn the house upside down, take all the drugs, and when she started to go through withdrawl, take her to the ER. They set an appointment for the following Monday morning.

My husband and I decided to take her drugs on Friday evening. That way we would both be home, all weekend, to deal with her. So on Friday, I dragged her ass to Wal-mart, with another friend of mine... even though I didn't need anything in particular. And while we were gone, hubby tossed her room.

We got home, and got all the kids to bed... not a word. When I inspected the stash, I was shocked at all the shit that she had. It was a God Damned pharmacy.

Bentyl (anti-spasmatic?)
Baclofen (anti-spasmatic)
Clonidine (for hypertension)
Xanax (for anxiety) There were none left, the bottle was empty. *Highly Addictive*
Flexeril (muscle relaxer) *Highly Addictive*
Methadone-Opiate (serious pain killer) *Highly Addictive*
Phenobarbital- Barbiturate (sedative/hypnotic) *Addictive*
Zoloft (anti-depressant)

Just to name a few of my favorites...
Some of the pills we have yet to identify. God only knows what they hell they are, but I intend to find out.
There were also a couple of empty 40 bottles in here room. (Big beer for you older folks.) Most, if not all, of the drugs she had, have a severe to lethal reaction when combined with alcohol. I'm telling you, the girls is lucky she's not dead.

Saturday came and went, without a word. Surely she knows her pills are gone. But she hid in her room most of the day. To my knowledge, she did not eat anything.

Sunday morning rolled around, and the signs began to show.
There was a knock on my bedroom door. I opened it and she was standing there. Calm as could be, like it was a reasonable request, she said "Can I please have my pills back now?" I opened the door wide and told her to come in. All the kids were sitting within earshot and I didn't want them to hear her.

She repeated her request and began to cry. She was in pain, she just wanted to eat. She can't sleep, she is miserable. When my husband told her we would not give them back, she begged for just 2, to get her through until her appointment on Monday.

~~~Let me state for the record, we had not destroyed the drugs yet. I planned to give them to the intake person at her appointment.~~~

When he refused, she went into hysterics, and said "Fuck you then, I'll just kill myself." Hubby snapped... He started screaming like I have not heard him scream in years. He sounded terrified and angry. He said somethings that he should not have said, and somethings that NEEDED to be said. Like how selfish she was... she is a mother, and how could she possibly do that to her son.
She was so upset, I almost couldn't understand her.... I just need two pills, why are you making me suffer like this, I just want to die...
He grabbed her by her arms and pushed her up against the door. I, of course, was trying to pull him off of her. He was screaming in her face, "Look at yourself... the only thing you care about is getting high. You don't give a shit about your son..." Let me tell ya, When my husband starts screaming like that, anyone would be terrified. She should have been terrified, but all she kept saying was she needed a dose.
I did manage to pull him off her, and take over the situation. I offered to take her to the ER. She refused. I told her the intake people told me to take the drugs, and I am not giving them back.

Now my husband should not have done what he did. But if you take into consideration, his big sister, who he has looked up to for all his life, was standing there telling him she was going to kill herself... I might have done the same thing in his shoes. On a side note... the kids heard everything.
I did tell him later that I was upset with the way he handled things. Mostly because that isn't what she needed. Yes, those things needed to be said to her. But she doesn't need to be held against a wall and screamed at. He did later calm down and say he didn't mean to do that, but he was scared for her.

So lets make a long story shorter, and bring everyone up to date.
I put 1 of each pill into a baggie and told hubby to destroy the rest. With the help of her mother, I took her to the ER... I dropped the baggie on the desk at triage, and we waited in a hallway for 11 hours. At 2 AM, when they came back to say we would probably have to wait another whole day for a bed for her, I told them she had an appointment in 7 hours, and I would take her there instead.

We went home, where I did not get any sleep, got the kids off to school. Went to her appointment, where we waited some more. The detox ward was full, but they may have some discharges today. We were to go home, and wait for a call from them. I was to watch her to make sure she didn't hurt herself, or take anything. Still no sleep...
I called in the late afternoon, and there was still no bed. Maybe tomorrow. I made dinner, and updated all the people concerned. Finally at 8pm, my husband took over the house duties, and I went to bed.

YESTERDAY... I called and called... still no bed, we'll call you if something changes. I called again at 3:30, and there was still no bed. So I asked them what am I supposed to do for her. She is miserable. She doesn't have the strength to get up and shower. I told them a friend of mine has a prescription for Valium, and they would give me one, if that's OK, but I wanted to ask you first? Their answer... "It's up to you."

When I told her what was going on, and that I would give her something to help her sleep, she said at this point she doesn't need detox anymore. She should just go straight into the Suboxone program. She was feeling bitchy, and I know she is mad at me. I told her we could talk to the DR about it. She still needs treatment. She still wants the drug.
When hubby got home, he showed me the pills our friend had sent over. I was hopeful they would get her through the night. So after dinner, I gave her a dose. She said thank you and tucked it into her pocket. Do you think she mentioned that my husband had already given her some? NO! I didn't know he had. I didn't find out until he shook the empty bottle at me. I told him I gave it to her, and he said "So did I"
So I went out and told her I didn't know he had given her some already, and that those were for the next 2 days. I asked her please not to take the others, save them for tomorrow. Stupid me, trying to trust an addict... I should have insisted she give them back.

Asshole, has been calling and calling. We have been blocking and intercepting... For days now, since we took her drugs, our ringers have been off. I had hubby shut off that cute thing with digital cable that shows you who is calling. My answering machine has been turned way down. So what does he do... He called my neighbor last night. Boo Hoo I can't get a hold of my family. I just want to talk to my son. I am about to have my brother drive me down there to take him.... I will bring the police if I have to. They can't stop me from taking my son. Well she called me immediately to tell me about it.

I walked across the street to the neighbors house to tell her about what was going on. I had not wanted to involve her in this, but I needed some advice. And she is the best person I could think of, as she is a police officer. She was happy to help when I told her what was going on. She told me what to do if he showed up last night. Well he didn't... so now I am waiting to get Kirsten in the hospital, and I will be driving to the court to get temporary custody. I am just praying Asshole doesn't go to the school to pick Brian up, because he has every right to. Which sucks, but that's the way it is.

When we got up this morning, she was laying on the couch watching TV. I soon found out that she had taken them all, and still didn't sleep. WTF? If you can take 3 seriously strong sleeping pills, and still not sleep, that's a problem.

So there we are... I am sitting here watching the phone to see if it rings, and writing my blog.
Wish me luck...

The Joys of Life: Part 6

2010-01-13T06:00:00.004-05:00

Previously on The Joys of Life:
Asshole got kicked out

After dropping Asshole off at the bus station, Hubby stopped by a friends house, because it was his birthday.

He hadn't been gone long, when I realized there would be no rest for the weary. Namely me. Something we very wrong with Kirsten. I couldn't tell what was going on, but I knew it wasn't good.

My kids were still at the neighbors house. Brian was here, watching cartoons. I made sure he got some breakfast. He said he was tired, so I bundled him up on the couch to take a nap.

Kirsten was moving real slow, slurring her words, so I knew I had to keep an eye on her. I came into the kitchen to find her with the fridge door open, bent over, holding a jar of mayo... ASLEEP! That's when I knew, she wasn't just stoned, she was fucked up. I woke her and asked her to go lay down. "Oh, I am so tired" She said. But she didn't go to bed. She wandered around the house, supposedly looking for her smokes.
I didn't want Brian to see her like that so I had him lay down in the girls room for a nap. When I came back to the kitchen, she was standing in front of my coffee pot... ASLEEP... with one hand on the counter... holding a full pot of water in the other hand. Like she was intending to make a pot... She had it hovering over the end of the counter, and I came around and scooped it up from her. "Go sit down" I said "I will make the coffee."

My husbands best friend called to see how we had made it through the night. I told him what was going on, and he said he would be right over. Then I called hubby to tell him he needed to come home too.

The girl couldn't stay awake for more than a few minutes at a time. I kept finding her asleep. No, asleep doesn't describe this... she was passed out. Slumped over on the couch. Standing up at my front door, trying to smoke a cigarette, asleep. I tried to ask her what she had taken, but all she would say was "I didn't get any sleep last night."
Who wants to see a picture of my SIL passed out... in the middle of the day?

She came out of her bedroom at one point, nearly in tears, asking me if I could buy her some smokes, because the Asshole apparently took all the money. Even the money that she has put aside to pay back her mom.

Hubby and his best friend arrived at about the same time. I had managed to convince her to go back to bed. I made a big breakfast, because everyone was starving, while his best friend went to pick up my girls. She didn't stay in bed long. She kept getting up, and stumbling around the house. I kept telling her to go back to bed.

I finally convinced my husband to go to sleep around 1pm. His friend agreed that he would stay and help me with Kirsten. We baby sat her most of the afternoon. She tried to eat something. I saved her some pancakes and sausage. But she couldn't stay awake long enough to actually eat them. Itty Bit was sitting next to her having a snack. She thought it was funny that her Aunt fell asleep in her pancakes. When she told Kirsten that she was falling asleep, she sat up and said, "No I'm not." 3 times the girl fell asleep in her plate. Seriously, face down in her plate. Our friend went and got her up, telling her to clean up her face, and go lay down. Finally she went into her room and went to sleep. And stayed there.

About an hour and a half later, we went to check on her. She was sitting, on the half deflated air bed, indian style. Bent straight over in half across her legs, with an unlit cigarette in one hand and a glue stick in the other. I can only assume she was trying to light up with a glue stick and got tired after it didn't work out so well. Our friend helped her up and to the front door to smoke, while I straightened out her bed and refilled it. We put her back to bed, and I left to get dinner, and some batteries for a smoke detector, which I later installed right outside her door.

Hubby got up when I brought dinner. We all ate. Kirsten tried to eat, again, but it didn't work out to well. We debated on calling an ambulance for her, but she seemed to be coming down a bit. We decided if she was the same way the next day we would.
Our friend left, and we got all the kids off to bed. Hubby was settling in for the night. I went out to make sure the house was closed up, and turn out lights. In the kitchen I found one of the stove burners on full blast. "Kirsten, did you turn on the stove?" "Oh shit" She said "I used it to light a cigarette. I guess I forgot to turn it off." Never in my life have I been so glad to have working smoke detectors.

I had to work all weekend, but Hubby, and usually his friend, were here to keep an eye on things. We all spent the weekend waiting for a call from Philly. We all wondered if he had actually gotten on the bus. Kirsten spent the weekend high, but not in a life threatening state. Just kind of stupid. I didn't know what kind of drugs she had. How much she had. I figured he would have taken most of them with him. He took all the money, why not the drugs? I assumed she would run out at some point. And then she would have no choice but to get sober and deal with life. I tried to cut her some slack, because we had just turned her life upside down. Needless to say, it was a very long weekend.

Monday came and I let out a big sigh of relief when the kids all went back to school. Finally the house was quiet. This had turned out to be a very long Winter break. Having to hover over everyone, and trying to keep the peace. I'm sorry to say, but all I got done that day was a blog entry and a very long nap!
My husband did get a hold of Assholes brother, and found out that indeed he was in Philly.

When Tuesday rolled around, I took the opportunity to take a shower while the kids were at school. I didn't lock my door. I was not trying to offend her, by taking my keys to the bathroom. I was trying to show that I wanted to trust her. But you know me... I'm not stupid. I set up our webcam to record the room while I was out. And what I saw on the playback, sent me through the roof. NOW...who wants to see a video clip of my crack head SIL breaking into my room?

For the record, she was in my room for about 45 seconds. I can only assume to steal more vicodin. Needless to say, I am very disappointed. I debated about whether or not to tell hubby while he was still at work. Shit, I debated about weather or not to elbow her right in her teeth. I decided it best to tell him before he got home, so he would have time to cool off. Rather than him seriously ripping her head off.

He got home... he watched the video... and he had The Talk. But so that I could learn what it sounds like when she lied, he asked her if she was in here. She has a very giving tell... she opened her mouth to speak. That's it. Just opening her mouth means that whatever is about to come out will be a lie! And when she said "No" he calmly walked over to the computer and clicked play. Oh boy was she furious. Probably at me... for having the nerve to video tape my room and try to catch her.
That was the day... The day she fessed up to exactly what she was taking... maybe. Methadone and Zanax. We already knew. Assholes brother told us about all his prescriptions. And that he gives her the Methadone.
That was the day when he told her she had to go to rehab or get out!

Next time on The Joys of Life:
Searching for Salvation

The Joys of Life: Part 5

2010-01-12T09:49:00.001-05:00

This is a retelling of events that have already happened.

Previously on The Joys of Life:
Kirsten was confronted about stealing
& the Boy gets a reality check

My Husband was kind enough to go get him from the bus station at 11 pm that night. Even though he has to get up at 5am to go to work. They wanted me to do it, but hubby said "No way in hell is my wife driving around that part of town, that late at night!"

I got up the next morning, and went about my day. Brian opened more gifts, that his father brought back from Philly. The kids played. Asshole slept in. Because, you know, he didn't get in until just before midnight. He was tired, the poor dear. No one said a word about the conversation of the previous day.

Well at about 11 in the morning, Brian wanted to eat the cookies his father had brought back. His mother told him he couldn't have them right now, because we were getting ready to make lunch. She suggested that the kids could have some for snack. Well... this was NOT OK, as far as Brian was concerned. He threw a fit. It went on far longer than I would have tolerated. But eventually she told him to go to his room. He was in there for all of a minute, and he came back out.
"Mommy, I'm ready to come back out now."
"No" she said, "I will let you know when you can come back out."
I was proud of her. She stood her ground.
So he said "I'm telling Daddy to let me out then." In the same way a 5 year old would say to another 5 year old, 'I'm telling on you!" And why shouldn't he? It worked.
He went in that room, and woke his father, to let him out. And when they came out, Brian had this, justifiably, victorious look on his face. Kirsten said nothing. DQ, on the other hand, has no fear and spoke right up, "Brian, your mom said you had to stay in your room until she let you out." Well the Asshole took great offense to that. "You need to mind your own business. His Mom and I are here, and I said he could get out. I haven't seen my son in a couple of days. Jesus Christ."

That, dear readers, was my last straw. I WAS PISSED. In any normal situation, I would have blown my fucking top. But picture me here... Home alone, with 5 kids under 12, and 2 drug addicts. I knew I could take Kirsten. She is a shadow of her former self. But Asshole is another story. Lord knows if he is on PCP or some shit... zooming around my house like he is preparing for the end of the world. And I didn't want them to leave the house with Brian. That child deserves a stable life. And as far as I am concerned, my house is the closest he will come to that.

So I texted my husband: You really need to call me at lunch time. I need to talk to you. Then I went and washed dishes and shook from my anger. I was so mad I could barely contain myself. But I waited patiently for his call. When it didn't come, I went to check my email, and he had texted me back: I am trying to call, but no answer.
Asshole was on the phone. And he wouldn't click over. He knew it was my husband. We have caller ID, and call waiting for Christ sakes. Finally I got a text from my husband saying he had clicked over to ask if I could call him back. 30 Mins later, he had to call again and be ignored. He hung up and called again, and just let it ring until finally Asshole gave up and got off the phone.

By the time I talked to him, my husband was raging mad. I told him I wanted that Asshole out of my house. I explained to him what had happened, and told him I was not comfortable having him here. Well that was all my husband needed to hear. Because, as previously stated, My Word Is Final! We decided that Hubby should stay at work until the end of the day, and I would call him if I needed him. Hubby's best friend gets off work early, and would come to the house to hang out with me.

Later that afternoon, the kids were out riding their bikes. Asshole was outside with them, doing God only knows what. I had been out for a while... Trying to teach the girl I babysit how to ride without training wheels. Things were going fine I thought. Until DQ came in to talk to me. She wanted to into my bedroom, so I knew this was serious.

"Mom, you know how you told us, we can't ride our bikes on the street. We have to stay in the court right?" "Yeah" I said to her. "Well, Brian was riding out in the street. And when I told him 'My mom said we have to stay in the court' he said 'My dad said I don't have to listen to Aunt Missy." I sighed a big sigh. I put my hands on either side of her face and said "You trust me right?" She shook her head 'yes'. "Please trust that I will take care of this problem. I am sorry you guys are having to deal with all of this. Trust that I know what I am doing, and you will understand one day soon. For now, just leave Brian alone. If he does something to any of you guys, just come and tell me."

When my husband got home, we debated over the best way to do it. We only wanted him to go. And we didn't want anyone to get hurt. We fully expected we had a fight on our hands. I knew someone was going to jail, at the very least. By bedtime we had decided on a plan of action.

I was not going to spend another day in that house with that Asshole. He was walking around with this 'don't give a fuck' attitude, and a 'what are you going to do about it' tone in his voice. So the next morning, when the kids I watch got to my house, I packed them and my girls in the car, and went to my Mom's house. We hung out there for most of the day until the other kids' mother got home. Then I took all 4 of them over to her house to spend the night. Hubby and I had decided, our children were not going to witness what was about to happen. I was worried that they might get hurt. And it was one less thing to stress about if they were just gone.

His best friend met us back at our house. It was New Year's Eve. We decided to wait until they put Brian to bed. So we went and got some dinner. We came back, and the boys had a couple of shots. And we waited. The plan was to tell him what he had done, tell him he was no longer welcome, and give him money to catch a bus back to Philly. The 11pm bus. At least that was the plan. It was around 9:30 before we realized, they were letting Brian stay up to watch the ball drop. So we said fuck it, and called them into our bedroom.

My husband started out calmly. But as addicts do, they lied and denied everything. Hubby had heard enough, and he let loose on this dude:
"Aside from the misery you have caused my family... Aside from the amount of money you have cost me... The woman standing next to you, who you have been with for 12 years, who has given birth to your child, and should be worshiped for the queen she is . SHE is my Sister." (You should have seen the look on his face when my husband said she should be treated like a queen.) "YOU treat her like shit. You have taught her son to treat her like shit. In my house, we respect women. ALL women. And how dare you tell your son, in front of my little girls, that women are weaker."

Now my husband has had some anger management issues in the past. Which he got help for. He is, for the most part, a laid back guy now. But Asshole made the mistake of taking his kindness for a weakness. Besides the fact that he is 6'1", 215 lbs of muscle, when he gets angry, it's like The Hulk has been released. I was truly amazed that Asshole stood there and took everything my husband had to say. He tried to argue a bit, and talk his way out of some things, but for the most part he just stood there in shock.

It wasn't until my husband was finished and turned to me to ask if I had anything to add, that Asshole's anger began to show. When I had my say, I could tell that women just don't talk to him like that. But I calmly said what was on my mind. He had no problem trying to argue with me. So I put my hands up, shook my head and said "No, No. The problem is, you want to blame everyone else for your problems. Look at yourself. Look at your family. You are homeless, and unemployed with no money. But somehow it's someone elses fault. You need to start taking responsibility for your own life. You have a "wife" and child who you can not provide for. And as far as I can tell, you have no intention of providing for. No one else did this to you. You did this to yourself."
Oh my God. I thought he was going to jump across the room and choke me too. He was so mad. Fist clenched, jaw tight, and his face couldn't have been any redder.

By the time I was done, he had already missed the 11pm bus.

My husband finished with " You need to man the fuck up, and take care of your family. But you are not going to do it here. My wife has said I have to pay for your bus ticket back to Philly, and that's what I am going to do. The bus leaves at 8:30am, you need to be ready to get on it."

I could not believe it. The Asshole said "Let me go pack and say goodbye to the baby." Not even as much as a word in protest. He just left the room. My husband pulled his sister aside and said "I really hope that you will decide to stay." She burst into tears, and shook her head 'yes'.

It was too good to be true. Hubby agreed. After beating her ex with a metal pipe, and choking their last roommate... I was just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Waiting for him to come out of his room with a gun and shoot us all. But we didn't hear another peep from them.

Hubby's friend went home. We watched the ball drop, and hubby and I kissed. With the door locked and wedged, hubby posted up to play video games, until the sun came up. I laid fully dressed, shoes and all, on our bed and fell asleep.

The next morning, we woke them at 7am. Hubby told him we had to leave to catch a bus in 1 hour. He knocked on their door a couple of times. At 7:45 he still had not brought one bag out to go home. A little after 8 my husband blew his top. "I don't know what your trying to pull here. Maybe you think since you've fucked around so long, I will just wait until the afternoon bus, and you can hang around my house until then. I've got news for you. I don't give a shit that your gonna miss the 8:30 bus. You can sit and wait in the bus station. Don't make me call the cops to get you out of my house." At that point he got his ass in gear. Running around the house. Throwing his shit around. I guess he had to wait for the Meth to kick in or something.

My thought was that he wasn't going to leave. That maybe he actually knew the law. The one that basically states: If a person is a residence of a home, you have to give them a 30 day eviction notice.
But I guess not. Hubby took his butt to the bus station, bought a non-refundable bus ticket, and left him there, at around 9am.

~~~To be continued~~~

Next time on The Joys of Life:
Kirsten deals with separation
& we have to deal with her.

The Joys of Life: Part 4

2010-01-06T09:00:00.001-05:00

This is a retelling of events that have already happened...

Previously on The Joys of Life:
Asshole needs to get back to Philly
MIL loans him the money for a bus.

I took Kirsten to my Mother in law's house to pick up the money. I didn't want to do it. I haven't seen MIL in a couple of years. We previously had a falling out, which I will not get into here. I must say she was very supportive and friendly. My husband had kept her informed about what was going on, including the missing pain killers. While I was there she gave me a peace offering to pass along to my husband. A baggie of vicodin to replace what was taken, and, she said "To keep him from killing the Asshole."

Hubby and I laughed about it. There was no way he would go through 50 vicodin. But he was grateful because he could use at least a couple. He tucked them into the drawer of his bedside table.

Sunday afternoon, hubby took Asshole to the bus station. My youngest, Itty Bit, had a playdate at a friends house around the corner. Hubby stopped by a friends house on his way home from the bus station. I had to go to work, so I left DQ and Brian home with Kirsten, with the understanding that hubby would be home shortly.

Well hubby got home to find DQ watching TV, Kirsten passed out on the couch, and Brian was no where to be found. He asked DQ where he was. He was supposed to be outside playing. Hubby couldn't find him. He had a good idea of where he might be though.
When we made plans for Itty Bit's playdate, he kept saying he was going down there too. The child's mother did not want him down there. Her son was not going to be home. And this was supposed to be something special for Itty Bit and her friend. I told him, my husband told him, and his mother told him, he was not going down there on Sunday. We had to keep telling him, because he was convinced he was going to call down to see if the son was home, and go play with him.
So when hubby couldn't find him, he called down to their house, and low and behold... Brian was there. Didn't tell anyone he was going. Just left the house and walked through the neighborhood to the friends house. After he had been told repeatedly not to. Hubby told him to get his ass home. The friends mother never thought to call, because she knows, my kids won't go anywhere without asking me. She assumed we knew.

When I got home from work and hubby told me about it, my blood pressure went through the roof. I went out and called him to tell his mother what he had done while she was asleep on the couch. He tried to tell half truths, but I made him fess up. She sent him to his room for the rest of the night. Which worked for me. I was going to have all the kids at my house for a sleep over. Including a movie and popcorn and smores and he was going to miss out. Maybe he would get the message?
He whined and carried on and she gave in. All I heard was "if you don't stay in there now, you won't get to watch the movie." Um... NO! So I called her out. And explained why that was not a good idea. Told her to blame it on Aunt Missy, but he could not watch the movie.

Later when Asshole called to say he was in Philly, she told him what had happened, and that he was in his room. I could hear that Asshole was mad that his son was being punished. She was trying to explain it, and getting cut off at every corner. I mean really, how is that OK with him? My kids would have been grounded for a week!

After that my house saw a measure of peace for the first time in weeks. When Brian misbehaved, my husband stepped in to reprimand him... and he listened. Brian did what my husband and I told him to do, at least in the moment that we told him to do it. There wasn't as much throwing himself around, and there was NO "I'm telling Daddy." I kept reminding my girls, if there was a problem they have to come tell me about it. My oldest, DQ, was ready to pound this kid into the floor. She is sick and tired of him picking on the little kids.

Asshole was supposed to come back Monday night. But he called to say he wasn't going to make the 3pm bus. He called later to say he was mistaken about a 6pm bus. Then he called again to say he was just going to wait until Tuesday morning, rather than catch the 11pm bus.
Monday evening, Kirsten started going through, what I can only assume, was withdrawls. She was complaining that she was cold and all of her joints hurt. She wanted some of my husbands pain pills. Instead I went out and got her aspirin. She took it and said it helped a little. An hour later she was throwing her guts up in the bathroom.

Tuesday came around and he called again from Philly to say he was getting on the 3pm bus. Hubby got home early from work. He called me into our bedroom. "Where were you today?" he asked. "Well I was here all day." "Where was my sister?" "Why?" I asked "Because I am missing a bunch of Vicodin!" "Well she asked to use the computer in the morning to look for employment. I tried to hover but the kids kept fighting. I suppose the could have taken some when I was back with the kids."

He noticed that the bottle looked light, so he counted. ELEVEN. As best he could tell, there were 11 missing. We decided to confront her. He brought her into our bedroom and asked her. The moment she said "I don't know" he started screaming. I was in the living room with the kids, playing Wii. I had them shut it off and go play in the back bedroom. Then I went in to make sure he didn't choke her. (He wouldn't do that. But he was so angry, I thought I should be there.)

In the middle of all this I had to get up to check on the kids, who were all screaming at each other. I walked in to hear Brian tell me "Itty Bit smacked me across the face." Now I always ask everyone in the room, what their side of the story is. That way everyone has a chance to say their piece, and I can get a better idea of what actually happened. The short of it was that he was torturing her and she had had enough, and slapped him. I thought to myself 'good for you girl'. But she still had to be in trouble for hitting him. Which sucks, because she has NEVER hit another child like that. Not since she was old enough to know that hitting is not nice. I sent her to time out. Then I looked at Brian and said "You are going to stop torturing these kids. Yes she should not have hit you, but you deserved it. YOU are going to start following my rules now. And I don't give a damn what your Daddy has to say on the subject!"

When I got back to our bedroom, he was still chewing her out. Telling her how shit was going to change. Trying to convey the amount of stress having them here has put on our household. When he was done, I tried to be the voice of reason. I asked her "Do you love this man? Are you determined to stay with him?" She said yes. I told her "You are not the strong woman I met years ago. The last time I saw you, you would never have let a man tell you to shut up. He treats you like crap. Like a second class citizen. And how your OK with that I don't know." She started to cry. Then I told her "The reason your son treats you like crap is because his father has shown him that it's OK." There was a lot said that afternoon, and I really wanted to believe her. I want her to succeed. I want her to get rid of the man who has her hooked on drugs, and at his beck and call. I want her to dream again. To want better for herself and her kid.

Next time on The Joys of Life:
The Asshole returns
& Momma puts her foot down.

The Joys of Life: Part 3

2010-01-05T08:00:00.001-05:00

Thanks to all my readers who have shown great concern for my family.
The "Joys of Life" is a retelling of events that have already taken place.

Previously on The Joys of Life:
We learned a lot about our new roommates. The child is violent and undisciplined. The parents are probably drug addicts. And the Asshole has a real problem with women.

I am always amazed when I see people show such disrespect for other people. And watching these 2 is like watching bad reality TV. (OK, all reality TV is bad, but you get the point)

It only took a couple of days before Asshole felt comfortable enough to start moving shit around in our house. Apparently he thought my dishes were set up better his way. Uh... fat chance. I asked him "Are you the one who keeps moving my plates around?" "Yeah, I thought Kirsten was putting them away wrong." "No" I said "that's the way I want them, so knock it off."

How do you let your child sit on my couch watching TV eating my kids halloween candy at 9 o'clock at night? When you know my kids have to start getting ready for bed at 7:30 and we don't allow them to eat after that. My kids were quick to point out "That's not fair" and I had to agree with them. So the next day I told her "My girls said it's not fair, and they are right. He needs to follow the same rules as the girls."

How dare you teach my kids that they can hide snack in their room, after they have brushed their teeth for bed? When you know I am strict about all food staying in the kitchen! Mom and Dad will never know my ass!!! I am a mommy, I know EVERYTHING!

Then I heard of his plan to rewire something in the bedroom so they could put an AC unit in the window. You know, because when summer comes, it's going to get hot in there. I'm thinking to myself, 'Your not going to be here come summer!'

It's becoming clear to me that there are no intentions of getting a job. Any job!!! Despite my bringing home newspapers and letting her use the computer in my bedroom to search the internet. Despite our offer to fix up the other car and let them use that to get to work. Or my offers to drive him to fill out applications. Nope, when Kirsten found a job in the paper make $10 an hour, cash, his response was "Kirsten, I'm worth more than 10 dollars an hour. I mean really..." The tone of irritation in his voice I can't really convey here.

He is worth more than ten dollars an hour, but not worth more than living off his girlfriends family. Being homeless and unemployed. Not being able to provide food for his family, or Christmas gifts for his child. Being worth more than ten dollars an hour apparently means it's OK to take people for everything that they have.

And I know it may sound petty, but can I just mention the sugar. It probably takes my household a month or more to go through a 5 lb bag of sugar . The first week they were here, between the 2 of them, they ate 7 lbs of sugar. Um, OK. So I do my Saturday food shopping and get another 5lb bag. By Tuesday it was GONE and I had to get more. Before the next Saturday came around, that bag was gone too! So husband went and bought a 25 lb bag, threw it up on the counter, and told them "I got a present for you!" Who the fuck goes through 10 lbs of sugar in a week? Maybe a heroin addict, trying to deal with detox?

For those of you who don't know, my wonderful husband is a cabinet maker. Well, one day my lovely cabinet maker took off the tip of his finger with a router. He had to go to the hospital. He was prescribed vicodin for the pain. Someone came into my room at some point and stole some of his vicodin. We couldn't prove it, and there wasn't more than maybe 5 missing, so we let it go. We became more vigilant about locking our door, and hooked up the web cam to record our room when we were gone.

Hubby and I didn't get anything for Christmas. We scraped every last penny we had together so we could make sure Brian had a Christmas as good as our girls. I WAS NOT going to let my girls have gifts to open while he had none. And as I understood it, he would have none! He may be a pain in the ass, but he is still a child. I kept Kirsten informed about what we were getting him. I made him write a letter to Santa, so I would have an idea of what he wanted. I tried to get him what was on his list. Plus clothes and shoes. The boys shoes had holes in the bottoms. (Never mind that his father has a pair of Air Jordans, Nikes and Timberlands, all practically brand new.) Do you think it occurred to them to mention that Brian already had a pile of gifts from other family members? Not once did they say a thing.
Christmas morning comes along, and I woke up super early to find 3 piles of presents. One for each of my girls, and a huge pile of stuff for Brian. I prayed that the girls wouldn't notice. But everyone did. Everyone pointed out the fact that he had so much more than the girls. The girls got over it pretty quickly. I was so pissed. I scrambled to make sure everyone had the same. All his parents had to say to my girls was "Well you guys got bikes." Well yeah, they asked for bikes. He asked for a skateboard, which he got!!! Which I bought for him! And when all was said and done... Did anyone thank us for making sure Santa came for their kid? No. Instead, on Christmas day, they asked to borrow 20 bucks and were pissed the rest of the day when we wouldn't give it to them.

Hubby and I agreed to give them a place to stay. Not drive them back and forth to Philly whenever they needed. The Asshole had a Dr. appointment in Philly on Dec. 28th. At some point they asked my husband to take him for the appointment. I don't know what he said to them, I wasn't there. But I know we were in agreement. No, we can not afford to take him. That would require taking a day off of work, and paying for the trip. Costing us 250.00 bucks. HELL NO! Well she mentioned something about it to me, "When he takes Asshole to Philly... blah blah blah." I told her she needed to talk to my husband again because as far as I knew, he wasn't going to be able to take him. Did she do that? No.

They waited until 2 days before he had to be there, before they dealt with it. Then Asshole was super pissed because he wouldn't take him. Throwing himself around here. Bitchin about everything. Then they called my Mother in law, and asked to borrow the money for a bus to Philly. MIL told me the only reason she gave them the money is she was hoping he just won't come back. Then he was mad that he was going to have to pay her back. Like, hello, idiot. Cheaper to borrow 90 bucks from her than cost us 250.00 to take you. I think that all boiled down to, he wanted to bring more of his stuff back in the car. Oh fucking well.

Next time on The Joys of Life:
More pills come up missing
And the shit hits the fan.

The Joys of Life: Part 2

2010-01-04T07:38:00.003-05:00

This is a true story. Some names have been changed.
Previously on The Joys of Life:
My Sister in law, Kirsten, her boyfriend (who shall be known from here on out as Asshole) and their 8 year old son, Brian, became homeless, and came to live with us...

Oh where to begin? If I were an outsider looking in, I wouldn't believe my eyes.
They were not here 24 hours before the boy, Brian, assaulted 2 of my girls.
While I was at work the girl I watch in the afternoon came over to play. For some reason, and I didn't get the whole story, he punched her in the face giving her a bloody nose. AND THEN... when she tried to tell on him, he trapped her in a bedroom and started slamming her head against a wall. And what did his parents do about it? NOT A FUCKING THING! They are lucky I wasn't here to witness the goings on.

Also at some point during the day the kids were all playing outside. Brian hurt Itty Bit. Whether by accident, or on purpose, we will never know. They were up in the tree house at the time. When she tried to leave to tell someone, he trapped her into a corner and started screaming in her face, "I'm Sorry, I'm Sorry, I'm Sorry"

By the time I got my girls to bed that night, my oldest, DQ, was in tears, begging me to make them move out. She was scared that Brian was hurting the 2 younger girls, and his parents weren't doing anything about it. The children in the house had had enough, after day 1.

Asshole treats Kirsten like a second class citizen. He yells at her. Talks to her like she is stupid. The Kirsten I knew a couple of years ago would not have stood for that. But I am suspecting by this time he has her hooked on drugs, and convinced that she can not survive without him. Because she sits there and takes it. When he tells her to shut up, she does.

Asshole has 1 black tooth in the front of his mouth. And when I say 1 black tooth, I mean that is the only tooth he has. Kirsten is missing a couple of front teeth and the 2 she has left in the front look like they could fall out at any moment. The first thing I thought when I saw them was Meth Mouth. And the way he zooms around I am convinced that he is on chrystal meth.

Asshole sleeps until 2 in the afternoon, and only gets up when his kid gets home from school. It took me a while, but I figured out it's because he doesn't want anyone else telling his child what to do... including the childs mother. Because when Christmas break started he started getting up when Brian got up. And when Kirsten does something Brian doesn't like, he looks at his mother and says, "I'm telling Daddy on you." He wants candy and Mom won't let him, he goes and tells daddy on her. He wants to stay up past bedtime, and she says no, he tells daddy. Whatever it may be that the child doesn't want to do, he throws a fit about. And why does he go and tell daddy? Because daddy will immediately come and over rule mom. Give him what he wants and fuss at her for being so hard on him.

That is until Brian pisses the Asshole off. Then all hell breaks loose. My husband was standing in the living room one day when Brian did something to make the Asshole mad. He got up and threw down his coat and squared off with the boy like he was getting into a bar fight. Brian ran, in circles around my husband... and the Asshole chased him. When I heard about this I asked my husband why he didn't close line the man? He said he was just stunned that a grown man would act like that towards a little boy.

I don't know what kind of upbringing Asshole had. Apparently he is under the impression that women have no say on anything. We are here to serve the men, and do what we are told. Now dear readers, you know me.... I am a mouthy opinionated woman. And God help the man who tells me to shut up!
Asshole got a taste of my high self esteem one day and he did not like what he heard:
So he and Kirsten are arguing about something or another. I am just sitting on the couch trying to ignore them. Then he had to go and bring me into it. He asks "Do you have that problem with your husband, he has to argue with everything you say? blah blah blah" Basically he was saying it's a family thing. I ignored him. So he got cocky and said, "See, I can tell by the way your not saying anything, that I am right." Well you know me, mouthy woman that I am... I said "Well I didn't say anything because I was not trying to be nasty about it... But if you really have to know, We don't argue, because my word is final." He shook his head and said "Well than that's really sad". He walked away before I could finish saying what I meant. Hubby and I don't argue over dumb shit. My husband learned long ago, that I am not going to open my mouth to speak on a subject unless I know I am right. And I won't argue with anyone. If you can't agree to see my side of things, or even consider the possibility that I might be right, that's OK. Knowing I'm right is enough for me. My husband knows this. If we are talking about something, and he starts to argue, he actually says, "Oh, your probably right, your always right." And when I say argue, I mean a difference of opinion. Anymore, it has to be a life and death situation before we raise our voices.

One day, we were all milling around the kitchen and Brian mentioned something about "Remember that day when you chased Jeff (their last roommate) down the driveway and choked him?" He was speaking to his dad. Both Asshole and Kirsten got this look on their faces and tried to shush him, but the cat was out of the bag. My husband and I both heard it. Then I found out a couple of days later that Kirsten beat the fuck out of Jeff's girlfriend, the other roommate. Um... hello, this would have been good information to have BEFORE we let them move in. I already knew that Asshole had served time for assault on Kirsten's EX. I didn't realize until he told me the story of how he "Beat the fuck out of that nigger with a metal pipe" His words, not mine. But that was years ago. Them beating up their last roommates was no more than a month ago. This... is not good!

OK, OK. We agreed to give them a place to stay, so they can get back on their feet. We are in it now, and we have to deal with it. We weren't supposed to go get them, but we did. Out of the kindness of our hearts. Or stupidity, how ever you want to view it. My husband and I are trying, as best we can to manage the chaos. My girls are miserable. Brian is torturing them, and I can never catch him in the act. And when all 3 girls come tell me he is being a little shit, his response "nu uh. I didn't do that. They are lying." And it goes on and on... all day everyday.

Next time on The Joys of Life:
The search for jobs and Christmas vacation.

Oh The Joys of Life

2010-01-03T05:35:00.003-05:00

I'm sure some of you have noticed... I haven't been around lately. I have good reasons I promise. Life has just been so insanely chaotic these last couple of months. I haven't been able to carve out ANY time for myself.

I did pretty good over the holiday season, with more custom orders than I really should have taken. I almost didn't get it all done. Quilts and table settings, and more stockings than I can count. A local boutique picked up some of my stockings for the season. And thank God, because we really needed the money. I spent most of Nov and Dec in my studio, sewing like a mad woman.

Our car started dying in November. And we were screwed. With no money to buy another one, we were forced to finance one through a dealership. I hate having a car payment. But what could we do? So I went down and bought a new Chrysler Sebring. Well, almost new. No matter, it's still a large chunk of money every month.

Around the same time our car was dying, my Sister in Law, Kirsten, called. Now before I get into this story, let me preface by saying my husband has been looking for his sister for a couple years. And one day she contacts him through email to say, "Me and my boyfriend and our son are basically homeless. Can we come stay with you?" And then the drama began.

Most of my husbands family lives in Philly, including his sister. Apparently they had already burned all the bridges in Philly. They ALL told us horrible things about them. ALL of them. But my husband felt obligated to his sister. They all said not to let the boyfriend come with her. But my husband felt like she wouldn't come without him. He was torn up over this. Desperately seeking advice from me about what to do. I told him I stand behind whatever he decides. The child, almost 8 years old, was not in school, and basically homeless. The only way to provide that child a stable home, was to let them come down. So we said yes.

They worked it out with my mother in law, who lives here, to go get them. She was supposed to pick them up Thanksgiving weekend. Mind you, this whole time, we still haven't talked to them on the phone. Only through email. Then like a week goes by, and we heard nothing. We were frantically writing emails, with no response.
Then we get a hold of someone at his dad's house, where they had been staying. They had been kicked out of there, after less than a week, for stealing from them, and their son torturing the youngest child there.
But Dad was nice, and gave them money to take a train here. It was scheduled to be in the next afternoon. No one had told us anything. They were coming early, and on a train. So my husband took the day off work, which is costly, and we scrambled to get things ready. The afternoon came and went, and we heard nothing. So we contacted his mom, she called up there and talked to Kirsten, and indeed, she was supposed to go get them, the next weekend.
What it all boiled down to in the end, was that they conned the money out of Dad with no intention of getting on the train. At that point my Mother in law was pissed, and told them she was not going to get them, because they were liars and thieves, and she wanted no parts in pulling a con on the father. I should have said no then!

Then all the sudden, they needed us to come get them. All the sudden I was able to get them on the phone to talk. I heard the sad sob story about how it was everyone elses fault that they had no place to live. That the previous roommate had just snapped one day and kicked them all out, and kept all their stuff. How her son didn't have much in the way of clothes, and on and on. I asked about what they had, and what they needed. And told her not to worry, we would get it all worked out. My husband made arrangements to go get them. I made arrangements to cloth the child and get him enrolled in school. I did Christmas shopping for him, as if he were one of my children.

When my husband went to get them, the hassles began. They had a lot more stuff than they told us about. They stuffed the car with duffel bags and garbage bags full of shit. And they were upset that they couldn't bring the flat screen TV and a bike. They had so much stuff, they all had to sit Indian style on the ride back because the floors were full, the trunk was full, and half of the back seat was full. They weren't on the road an hour before my husband slipped away to call me and say "I already want to strangle this kid!" I thought he was just being crabby because he hadn't had much sleep. Boy was I wrong!

To be continued...

Blog Love...

2009-10-22T09:35:00.003-04:00

I am loved, well at least liked... Well maybe not me, but my Christmas creations anyway. I was featured this morning on a very cool new blog, Dandy Giveaways. You really need to check out this blog. She has the hook up on all the giveaways and special deals going on all over the net. I'm a follower, are you?

Dandy Giveaway

Thanks for the bloggy love Tara.

Public Appearance

2009-10-14T06:48:00.000-04:00

That's right folks, here is your opportunity to meet the one and only, fabulous Left Field Missy. OK, maybe not. But I will be at a public show on Sat. I know I have some local followers, so if your in the area, come say HI.
Sat. Oct 17, 10-4 at Indian River H.S.

Yesterday I mentioned preparing for a show at a private school some 4 hours away. Even though I have not had luck at any show in the past, I was very excited about this show. And after an entire Summer of sewing my little heart out, it got canceled. BOOO.

So then I was left frantically trying to figure out what I was going to do with all this stuff. Yeah I have some of it listed in my Etsy shop. But these are the kind of items that will sell better if you hold it and see the quality and details.

There is a show here locally, that has done very well. It's established. People look forward to it. There is a 2 year waiting list to get in as a vendor...
BUT, I took a chance anyway, and emailed to coordinator. Explained my situation, and apologized for it being so late, and asked if there were any spots open. What luck, there was a spot for me.

At that moment, I realized I had 1 week to get ready. Where the other show was going to be in Nov.

I had to package and tag everything. Which wasn't such a big deal. I am pretty organized. But my problem now is coming up with a display. On short notice. I'm sure I will get it worked out. And I am grateful to be in this show. But man I am frazzled.

OK, time for me to get back to it. I will catch up with you all, probably next week.

Random Tuesday, Loosing My Mind

2009-10-13T07:57:00.002-04:00

I feel like I have so much to tell you guys, by my brain is fried. I am so busy right now, I can't even see straight. Sounds like a good time to do Random Tuesday. GO check out the Un-Mom to get in on the fun.

First off, I am still mailing packages from my giveaway... So my advice to you is... NEVER do a giveaway for more than 1 item at a time. And Never ever giveaway 8!!! I don't know what I was thinking. Trying to get everyone's address, then figure out what they won, and what the hell goes where. I must be insane. But I have it all worked out now. The last of the packages should go out today.

I got an award over the weekend. Ladytruth saw fit to bestow upon me this lovely thing...

Thanks girl, I always wanted one of these. But I can't pass it on, at least not right now, because, as previously mentioned, I can't think straight.

When it rains it pours...
I spent the summer sewing in preparation for a MAJOR show in a very ritzy private school... only to learn last week that it had been canceled. So I was stuck holding TONS of stuff. I did manage to find a show to attend locally. It's next weekend. Now I am running around like a crazy person trying to get ready on totally short notice.
PLUS... I got 3 local orders over the weekend. Big ones. Like 8 stockings, 5 quilts, 4 table runners, and 4 sets of placemats. I go all year long without a wink or a nod, then WHAM, it all comes in at once.

And my funny for the week, I am still giggling about this one...

The other night, I was walking back down the hall into the kitchen. I see Sexy Papa standing in the doorway to our bedroom. He had been sleeping, so I asked "What are you doing, babe?" "Nothing" he says. Then he turns to go into the room. Out of the corner of my eye, I see that he is holding something. "What do ya got there?" I ask. He holds it up to look at it himself... A pair of tongs... dirty... that he got from the kitchen sink. HUH? "What do you need those for?" I ask. He mumbles and then sets them on the buffet.
I am left standing in the middle of the kitchen, literally laughing my ass off. The next day, he had no memory of doing it. I think I am going to have to keep a better eye on that boy.

OK, don't forget, today is your last day to enter the giveaway over on Be Different... Act Normal. She is giving away an awesome gift certificate, if I do say so myself!!!

Lori Is Super!!!

2009-10-12T07:41:00.002-04:00

A lot of you know about one of my favorite blogs, Be Different...Act Normal, run by Lori. She finds all the coolest stuff on the web for crafting and decorating. I have scammed, Ummm, been inspired by so many of her ideas. If you need a little inspiration, her blog is the place to get it.

Anyway, just as I am getting all the stuff mailed from the last giveaway, she is hosting another one for me. If you missed your opportunity to enter/win in mine, you can head on over to hers and enter there.

Be Different...Act Normal

But you better hurry. She is drawing the winner on Wed. Morning.

And the winners are....

2009-10-03T12:20:00.004-04:00

I was kind of surprised that this only got a few entries but... It's just means you have a better chance. So good on ya for entering this one...

Before I announce the winners I would like to post the shops that were posted in the comments section. There were some great shops, and I hope everyone will take a moment to have a look.

http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=7837253

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=27616215

http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=7681450&ga_search_query=vanegyadri&ga_search_type=seller_usernames

http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=7817885

http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=7683620

http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=30116

http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5402253

http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=7432418

http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=6199811

http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=3085

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=29399556

http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=30116

http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5402253

http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=6199811

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=31594206

http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=6213132&page=1

http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5844420

http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=73034

http://artistic.fun.etsy.com

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=31774202

http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5837528

OK, now the winners:

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The hats out loud Jester hat goes to

Margaret aka: Fact Woman

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The Candy Factory Print goes to

Rebecca Welch

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The DanaBanDs headband goes to

ladytruth

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Blogging is sexy pendant goes to:

BareMoose

*************************
Central City Project T-shirt goes to

Ginger

****************************
The book thong goes to:

Dawn

****************************
$25.00 G.C. to my shop(s) goes to

sweetsue

*******************************
Victoria Secret's G.C. goes to

Biddy

****************************

I will be contact the winners over this weekend. If I don't contact you and you won something, feel free to hit me up.

Please remember to support our sponsors. They will be linked on my sidebar through the end of the year, for your Christmas shopping convenience.

F.F. My Favorite Vampire

2009-10-02T08:23:00.002-04:00

For all you newbies, F.F. stands for Foxy Friday. I haven't done one of these in a while... Been busy, sorry.

My very first Foxy Friday was the one and only Alex O'loughlin. He played the smokin' hot vampire on Moonlight, which got canceled. BOO. Well good news ladies, he is staring in a new medical drama this fall. So in honor of that I thought we could revisit good ole' Alex.

Look at that smile. Hot right? RIGHT! Anyway, his new show, Three Rivers, premiers on Sunday. More Info Here.
I have it set to tape.

Today is the LAST DAY to enter my giveaway. So if you have not taken the time to do it yet, the clock is tickin'. The Giveaway!!!

Oh yeah, One more thing... It's Oct. My favorite Holiday is coming up. Halloween. To wish you all a Happy Halloween, I am having a month long 25% off sale in my PunkRawk Shop.

Legend of The Falls. From a High Horse

2009-09-30T07:46:00.003-04:00

Hey ya'll. I love and adore the following guest poster. So please give her your undivided attention. Or I may have to hurt you. -Missy

Hi, I’m Heather and I write a blog called Queen of Shake Shake. Missy was kind enough to ask me to guest post on her blog, and ever since I’ve made it my mission in life to discover what she’s smoking that makes you lose all sense and throw all caution to the wind. I want some of that. What I’m trying to tell you is that Missy’s crazy and I’m going to enable her by posting here.

Today I want to tell you about a particular morning when I planned to ride a high horse, and, unfortunately, how the horse threw me and bit me in the ass.

On that morning, I sat upon a dazzling saddle of superiority. The rhinestones on this thing would blind you for life. There I sat, reflecting on a post I wrote two years ago that caused a falling out between me and a friend over something as ridiculous as my child reading non-fiction instead of fiction books.

I know. Crazy people are everywhere, so look closely at your friends. If a child loves to read, WHO CARES if he prefers non-fiction over fiction. Apparently the argument against supporting my son’s non-fiction preference had to do with the future - an educational future where kids are required to do book reports on fiction books.

To that I said again WHO CARES. We'll cross that bridge when we get to it. And this is where the high horse trotted into the scene, all dolled up and ready for me to ride. Because I totally crossed that bridge. When my son, Payton, had his first book report due, he was given free reign to choose a book and he picked a Charlie Brown book – a FICTION book.

So there I was, sitting atop that high horse and mentally crafting a blog post with words like "boo-yah" and "neener neener" in it. (I pride myself on my maturity.)

But then the high horse threw me off and bit me in the ass!

It was time to get the boys dressed for school that morning and a little cold front had moved through our area overnight, leaving behind temperatures in the low 60's with lots of chilly wind.

While I know certain Canadians are probably thinking oh boy, SUMMER! down here along the Southern coast, that's winter weather, so we pull out the pants and long sleeve shirts.

But oh, not me. I didn’t do something as innocent as to take brand new pants and fall shirts from his closet. Instead, I asked Payton eat shit and die. Or so you would think by his reaction.

Normally I would have kept with my WHO CARES maternal attitude, and let him wear shorts and experience that fine thing called natural consequences. While Payton busied himself with his shorts, I would be in the barn, contemplating those natural consequences while polishing up my high-horse saddle even more, because tomorrow he would SO wear goddamn pants without throwing a fit.

For whatever reasons that day, I didn't take my normal approach. I felt this crazy, power-hungry, authority-respecting monster take over my body and found myself insisting Payton wear pants. He insisted he wear shorts. He and I stared each other down until we launched into a battle of wills that will go down in history.

History will say I won but it didn't feel like a victory.

I just want the kid to change seasonal clothes without a fight. From the time Payton was 18 months old, he didn't wear anything he didn't want to wear. If I tried to approach him with anything other than soft, 100% cotton, elastic-waisted clothes and collarless shirts, Lucifer himself possessed his body. He’d scream like a banshee and writhe on the floor; spittle would fly from his mouth and from his ass would shoot volcanic flames of damnation bent on devouring evil, sinful souls who believe in button chinos.

Or take jeans, for instance. Payton refused to wear jeans since until three weeks ago. He tried on a pair in a store, gave his stamp of approval, and assured me YES! He would wear them. Then he threw a shit fit a week later when I asked him to wear them to a public function. That crazy, power-hungry, authority-respecting monster reared up then too because I insisted he wear those jeans. He acted like an asshole until he could take them off.

Honestly, who’s the crazy one? Payton for being so stubborn about his clothes or me being so stubborn about what he should and shouldn't wear.

It turns out I wasn’t crazy the morning of that cold front. I was only hormonal.

As I took the boys to school that day, listening to Payton grumble the entire way about those pants I forced him to wear, I spent the carpool drive thinking hot damn am I glad to be taking you to school today!

And then I started my period.

Within a nanosecond my jeans that fit before no longer did. They were suddenly so tight and so uncomfortable I couldn’t bear it. I change into a pair of soft, 100% cotton, elastic-waist pants as soon as I got home.

That, reader, is how a high horse bucks you off. Most people call it irony, but really, I think God just hates me.

Thanks again to Heather, Queen of Shake Shake, for indulging my insanity. Check her out, if you haven't already.

And don't forget, the celebration of 100 Followers continues with The Giveaway. If you haven't entered yet, go and do it. You won't be disappointed.

RTT Giveaway Edition

2009-09-29T06:54:00.003-04:00

It's that time again. Time for Random Tuesday Thoughts. I wonder how Keely is feeling about the new ZOMBIE movie coming out? You should click on over to her blog, The Un-Mom, and find out!

Itty Bit is still sick. She has had a fever of 103 for 5 days!!! With no other symptoms!!! I took her to the Doctor yesterday. They are just as stumped as I am. No strep, no pneumonia, no URI, no UTI, no ear infection... Just this damn fever. She is so upset because she is missing school.

While I was out on the porch having a smoke this morning, a fox came trotting across the lawn. Now to some of you this is not strange... But I don't live in the country. I live in a densely populated area. Granted my neighborhood is very old, with tons of trees, but still, a fox? Not that I have a problem with him. He can stay for all I care, I just thought it was weird.

Do you guys see this "Book Thong" graphic?

The person who makes the lovely book thongs can't seem to see her graphic on my blog. I am wondering if it's her computer, or my lack of HTML skillz? So can you take a quick look at my sidebar and tell me if you see it there? Thanks so much...

I got 8 whole solid hours of sleep last night!!! I never get 8 hours. More often than not it's 5, maybe 6. I am beside myself. I think taking care of Itty bit the last couple of days has just worn me out.

Have you heard? I reached my goal of 100 followers! Because you guys are awesome! In celebration of this achievement, I am partying all week. Including a guest post from the person responsible for all the madness, otherwise known as my blog. I stumbled across her blog back in Jan. I fell in love with ranting and raving on the internet because of her, and the next day I started my own little blog. The rest, as they say, is history. She will be posting tomorrow, so look for it. If you can't wait that long, go visit her blog. The Queen Of Shake Shake.

Also in celebration of reaching my goal, I am doing a mega giveaway. Lots of prizes. You should GO ENTER IT!

I love all the shops you guys are recommending in the giveaway post. I am visiting each and every one of them. But I am not commenting on them in the post, because I don't want my comments to interfere with the random comment picker!

Monday, Monday, Monday

2009-09-28T07:12:00.002-04:00

Monday, oh Monday... Oh how I love thee Monday. Sexy Papa goes back to work. The girls go back to school. And I have my house back. I always have tons to do on Monday, but it's OK. I enjoy the peace.
Oh I adore Monday... except today I have a sick baby home. She has had a fever since Thursday, and frankly, I am starting to get a little worried about it.
Oh the bright side, it's Itty Bit that is sick, and she is an angel under any circumstance.

ANNOUNCEMENT:
Listen up people... I have something important to tell you. To continue the celebration of achieving 100 followers... My blog hero, Heather, is going to be guest posting this week. If you have never read her, you really should. Talk about so funny you pee your pants. She uses the word "fuck" freely, so if that offends you... um what are you doing here? Anyway, go see what she is up to: Queen of Shake Shake

OK, what else, Oh I will be posting another installment on The Real World: Venus vs. Mars late this week. I thought it was Thursday, but might be Friday. Did I mention I have Mommy brain?

I got an award this weekend from Facts from a Fact Woman,
But I have so much on my plate this week, with the sick kid, the giveaway, the other blog I contribute to, I just don't have the get up and go for it right now. So yeah, maybe I am being lazy, but I am only 1 person, with a split personality, so don't hate. No but really, I want to thank her. She is awesome too. So go check her out.

OH MY GOD, how could I forget? Did you see my entry about The Giveaway starting? Seriously people, go check it out. Super easy to enter.

Alrighty, that is all I have in me for now. I'll catch you guys later.

So freaking funny

2009-09-26T09:00:00.001-04:00

What makes Missy laugh so hard she nearly pees her pants....

Seriously guys, tears streaming. Really made my day!

Hey, did you enter my giveaway yet? No? Why the hell not?

GO DO IT NOW

And What Do We Have Here?

2009-09-25T06:17:00.005-04:00

Well I do believe I see 100 Followers. I do, I do.

Do you know what that mean? Yep it's time to kick off this mega giveaway.

Real quick, let me say, I adore my followers. I appreciate each and every one of you. So this is my way of saying Thanks!

Now for the rules...
I would love nothing more than for Etsy.com to replace eHell, FeeBay, um eBay. In recent years, eBay has been making money hand over fist, while small sellers get screwed. Etsy sets out to change that.

Etsy sellers offer 3 things: Handmade items. Supplies. And vintage items. No mass market, bought it from China, crap!

Enter the giveaway:
1. Go to Etsy.com
2. Find a shop that you like
3. Come back here and paste the URL to that shop in the comments to this post.
4. Tell us all why we should go check out that shop.

Pretty simple huh? It would be really nice of you to "follow" me (if you don't already) or any of the other contributors with blogs. But you don't have to. Because it's more important, to me, that I get the word out about Etsy.

For my part, I picked a handful of new Etsy Shopkeepers to showcase on my blog. Each has been kind enough to donate an item to the giveaway. Clicking on each photo will take you to their shop. If you can, Please support them. Remember the Holidays are coming.

So here we go...

Hats Out Loud Jester Hat

5X7 Candy Factory Print (your choice)

Headband from DanaBanDs

Blog Pendant from Howdy Sailor
Featured in the Etsy Storque article.
Howdy Sailor is offering Free shipping when you pay with PayPal. Just enter LEFTFIELD at check out so she knows to refund you.

T-shirt From Central City Project

Book Thong from Beads By Nann
NOTE: Nann is offering 15% off your total purchase to my readers, when you use PayPal. Just enter the code LEFTFIELD at check out and she will refund through PayPal.

AND...
Rather than giveaway a specific item I am doing a $25.00 Gift Certificate to either of my shops..

The Punk Rawk Shop

OR

SYHO Customs

I am also offering a 25% discount off your total purchase to either of my shops, when you use PayPal. Again enter LEFTFIELD at check out and I will refund through PayPal.

PLUS...

$25.00 Gift Certificate to Victoria's Secret

What more could you, my lovely readers, want?
So what are you waiting for... go find an Etsy Shop and enter now!

Fine Print:
Entry period is from 09/25/09 through Noon, 10/02/09.
Winners will be announced no later than Sat. afternoon 10/03/09.
http://www.random.org will be used to pick winners.

Winners will be announced on this blog. I will also contact winners through their email if it's published in their profile. If you do not have an email listed in your profile, it will be your responsibility to check the blog to see if your a winner, and then contact me if you are.

Discount codes will be valid through the time of the entry period: Sept. 25 - Oct. 2

If you have any questions please email me tat2missyj at yahoo dot com.

I'ma Good Read?

2009-09-22T17:38:00.002-04:00

Dawn from Must Love Tots thinks I am a good read. Well thanks for the awesome award. I will get around to handing this sucker out sometime this week. Maybe tomorrow, who the hell knows. I just love awards with little to no work involved.

In the meantime, check out her blog. 'Cuz obviously she is a good read too.
Must Love Tots

RTT It's Been a While

2009-09-22T06:48:00.004-04:00

I know, I know, It's been a while since I did a Random Tuesday. But as previously mentioned, I have nothing to bitch about. I am gonna take a crack at it anyway.

If you have stuff to bitch about, consider getting in on the fun. Visit The Un Mom for all the details.

OK... People really need to stop unfollowing me. It's really irritating. I only unfollow people who are raging republicans or who haven't posted in 2 months.

I am so lucky. Sexy Papa has been so wonderful. I was thinking to myself the other day, as I was headed out to go shopping "I am so lucky. He cooks, does dishes, does laundry AND he's great in bed." Seriously, when I came home from said shopping trip, he had done all the dishes, vacuumed, cleaned out the litter boxes, started laundry, fed the kids lunch... What the hell else could I ask for?

I have been staying up WAY to late, chatting in Etsy. I only got 4 hours of sleep last night. Don't tell hubby. he he he

Itty Bit LOVES school. She informed us the other day that she likes school so much, she wants to be a teacher. She is torn between that and Rock Star!

OK Ya'll, I have so much crap, um, stuff to do today. So I really must run. Don't forget about my giveaway. It starts as soon as I get 100 followers. I actually have money in my paypal to ship all this stuff, so we should get this thing going.

You know you want one...

2009-09-18T15:32:00.003-04:00

We have a late entry, the last one I swear, for our giveaway. I fell in love with her shop, but she has only just contacted me. She will be shipping her donation directly to the winner, as it is getting late and we need to get this thing rolling.

She will be give a lucky winner one of these...

And from the creator herself...

I started making hats for my own children when I couldn't find what I wanted, (or what they needed), I would buy the yarn and begin to "sculpt". As we would walk through malls, stand in line at the grocery store or even visit Santa at a local tree farm, (with bells jingling), people would ask them where they got their hats. They would point to me and say "My mom made it." I was often asked where I sold them.

After years of fine art, owning an art gallery, working in interior design and eventually commercial merchandising - I found myself frantically crocheting hats for a local show. Exposure led to more shows and lots of custom orders. It felt good to be creating again. Etsy became the perfect solution for showing my hats plus referring customers to. They are able to see my current collection at any given time. Last winter I had orders from as far as France and Spain.

I take pride in not using any commercially available patterns and prefer to create my own and let the yarn lead me. I have many "test" children in my neighborhood. They are subject to my newest creations and it's a hoot to see them gathered at the bus stop wearing various bells, tassels and animal faces. I have always thought – if you’re going to wear a hat – wear it out loud. Nobody does that better than kids but I wasn’t surprised when adults began requesting cats, dogs and jester hats for themselves.

Like many of us, I have what a friend calls “craft ADD”. Once Hats Out Loud hit the summer season, I needed to find another creative outlet. Another friend and I started Plunk Soap. Plunk is a line of not-so-serious natural soaps, lotions & soy candles. Again, Etsy was the best place to show and sell our creations. It’s wonderful to have a place where uniqueness and creativity are appreciated.

www.hatsoutloud.etsy.com

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Hats-Out-Loud/123933724101

www.plunksoap.etsy.com

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Plunk-Soap/145479485762

http://plunksoap.blogspot.com/

These are just perfect, as the weather is getting cooler. I am madly in love with them.

Child's size cap with flaps

Baby booties

And guess what? She makes them for us pretending to be grown ups too. I am seriously considering getting one for myself. Which one should I get? She is so creative. Really, if you have kids you should totally check out here shop

Blogging is Sexy...

2009-09-17T06:15:00.002-04:00

This Chic designed a pendant just for my little giveaway. Check her out...

My name is Stefanie, I am 26 years old from good old New Jersey. I have been creating all types or art since I was very young, under the influence of my Mother. Over the years I have tried many different mediums, from plush to painting canvases, but have always found my love to be pin up inspired art. All of my pieces start with a simple word or phrase and I build each of them individually from there. I have a ton of fun trying to find the perfect image to suit what I am trying to say.

Currently, the shop contains jewelry and one of a kind canvas art but will soon expand to other accessories and items for the home.

When I am not neck deep in paper, wood, and paint, I enjoy scouring every market for vintage Halloween items, my favorite holiday. I also enjoy hanging out and being silly with my best friends, playing with my Bulldog, working on my side project (dirtyjersey.etsy.com), having bbqs, relaxing on the beach, and taking random road trips to anywhere!

When I am not scanning the thousands of wonderful shops on Etsy, and buying more than I should, you can find me here:
www.craftster.org
www.mmaweekly.com
www.kickstartcycle.com
www.marthastewart.com (she's my queen!!)

Well Thanks Stef, for creating this awesome pendant for us. You can take a random road trip here anytime! And for those who are interested she listed the blogging is sexy in her Etsy shop. Buy the necklace

Central City Project

2009-09-16T05:53:00.001-04:00

You guys are gonna love this. I got one of these in the mail last week for our giveaway. The one I got is blue and Med sized. But better than getting a free shirt, your gonna dig the story behind it.

The Central City Artist Project is a non-profit organization founded by people who believe artists play integral roles in healthy communities. Our goal is to create a residency program in the heart of Central City, a populated, historic neighborhood in New Orleans struggling to overcome not just Hurricane Katrina’s destruction but also two long-standing community scourges - poverty and crime.
for more information: www.centralcityartistproject.blogspot.com

Artists have generously donated original drawings to help us raise money and awareness for Central City. All t-shirts are hand-printed, using water-based inks on 100% cotton shirts. Please visit our store for more information, and buy a t-shirt today: www.centralcityproject.etsy.com

And the one I will be giving away...

Please show your support for this cause and go buy a t-shirt or 10!

Blogger Forgive Me...

2009-09-15T05:32:00.003-04:00

...for I have sinned. It's been ... shit I don't know... to long since my last blog post. I was thinking about it last night and I think I know why!

I don't have anything to bitch about. All 3 girls started school last week. I have had the nice quiet house to myself all day long.. for a week! For those of you who are wondering, we have all day Kindergarten here.

I have been getting a ton of stuff done. My house is getting back to normal. I scrubbed my kitchen and my bathroom from top to bottom. We're talking washing the walls and cleaning out the oven. It's so nice! I love a clean house.

I have been painting and drawing. Things I love to do, but can't while someone is constantly in the background screaming "Mom" or "Miss. Missy" That's what the neighborhood kids call me. I placed an add on craigslist for models for a new clothing line I am developing. I found 2 who are willing to work with me, and they are actual models!

I have been shopping on Etsy. I decided that everyone in my family will be getting something off of Etsy. Cause everyone can use a little handmade in their life.

It's just been an over all great week. Nothing to complain about.

I did get a package in the mail last week from The Central City Project for our giveaway. Stay tuned for the feature on them tomorrow. And I also have another Etsy Artist to feature this week as well. Think "blogging is sexy"

Speaking of the giveaway... We are holding steady at 93 followers. And even though school has started, I am still going to hold it when I get to 100 followers. So many great artist have contributed to the giveaway, it would be silly for me not to do it because we didn't reach the goal in time!

OK, that's my update. Now I don't feel so guilty about ignoring my little blog. More to come this week I promise!

BTS

2009-09-08T07:48:00.002-04:00

Well, here in Tidewater VA, public schools don't go back until the day after labor day. So that the high schoolers can work at the ocean front tourist traps.

That means today is our first day of school. Itty Bit's first day EVER. I was a big girl, I didn't cry. But I think that may be because it is pouring down rain, and I didn't really have time to reflect on the event in the moment.

OH, and Sexy Papa went to work at his regularly scheduled time. So I have the whole messy house to myself. My poor house, it barely survived summer vacation.

Ooh, La La

2009-09-04T06:36:00.003-04:00

I can't believe I didn't show these to you guys.

Blogging All the cool kids are doing it

Blogging is Sexy

OK, so I totally admit, I stole the "blogging is sexy" idea from one of our contributors to the giveaway. She made this pendant just for us. Now I wish I wasn't the admin, so I could win it. I told her to put them in her shop so I could buy one.

She is the Etsy shopkeeper of HowdySailor. I will be doing a write up about her early next week. Until then, you should go check her out. We all know how I love tattoo inspired stuff.

Alright, moving on. I took Itty Bit to her Kindergarten open house last night. She had so much fun. I don't think I have ever seen a kid so excited to go to school. You guys probably don't realize what an achievement this is. It took me nearly 2 months to get everything in order to get her into school. Pain in the ass!

Anyway, all the little darlings go off to school next Tuesday. Sexy Papa was talking to his boss about this, and the boss, bless his crooked little head, suggested that he come in late that day. You know, so he could see his little girl go off to her first day of school. I was thinking to myself "No way! I have been waiting 10 freaking years for a day off. Hell no you can't see her off to school and then bug the hell out of me for sex." Is that wrong?

Oh well, I will let you know how it goes. I am sure I will cry. She is my baby after all.

Etsy is haviing a sale

2009-09-03T12:44:00.002-04:00

I know, I know. I am a hella slacker this week as I haven't popped in once to see how you all are doing. But I have been busy. I'll catch you up later. I have been checking the following stats and we are almost there...

I am just posting really quick about a sale that many Etsian's (Etsy artist) are participating in.

From the Etsy Storque page:
Each of the shops below offers special discounts on your entire order from Thursday, September 3, through Monday, September 7. Simply enter the code "Weekend Deals" in the Message to Seller field during Checkout to take advantage of the sale. Your discount will be refunded through PayPal. Find the individual discount and sale sections beneath each item below. Stay tuned for tomorrow's extended deals, with even more discounts this weekend only!

Here is the link: Etsy Labor Day Weekend Sale

Plus there are a lot of other artist participating with their own "sales". Like me! I am doing $5.00 off each shirt from my shop. Good on as many shirts as you want to order. Plus, I have recently upgraded to organic cotton.

The Punk Rawk Shop.

New pen and ink

2009-08-28T17:28:00.002-04:00

I have rediscovered the love of drawing. And having worked in a tattoo studio, we didn't do a lot of pen & ink. But I thought it would translate well onto a t-shirt, so I gave it a shot. Check these out.

The little spider has "Tread Lightly" on the t-shirt, but this is just the line drawing.

PS, sorry about the "sample" text, be people are thieves, and I worked hard on these.

Totally Worth Eating

2009-08-28T06:00:00.000-04:00

OK, so I have to share with you...
When I was pregnant with DQ, I loved grilled sandwiches. Especially grilled cheese with tomato and mayonnaise. I think I have previously mentioned my love of Mayo.

When I was pregnant with Itty Bit, I rediscovered the love of stuff grilled between 2 slices of bread. Most important of which was the Grilled PB & J.

No I am not pregnant, nor will I ever be again. My point is, I still make these. My kids love them. You should try it. Much easier to do than say, peanut butter and jelly donuts, which my husband... made... no destroyed my kitchen with. They were good, but so not worth the trouble.

These are no trouble at all and totally worth eating.

It is exactly what it sounds like...

Make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I go easy on the jelly, as it can turn into lava.
Butter both sides and fry that bad boy on med-low until golden brown on both sides. Sorta like a grilled cheese, but better.
Now be careful, they are hot. Don't sue me because your kid burned the piss out of his tongue. I'm telling you they are hot.
After they have cooled for a minute or so I cut the kids' up into 1/4 triangles, to help them cool faster. They will beat each other down with a stick, to be the first in line for these.

Very yummy. I should know... I just ate 2! You'll thank me later, so your welcome!

Here's another one for you...

2009-08-27T06:00:00.000-04:00

Guess what I got in the mail yesterday?

The headband, not the person. Isn't it cute? Well, Thanks to Dana, it is also part of the giveaway. I told you guys this was going to be good.

Dana makes the cutest head gear for grown ups and kids alike...

Dana-banDs is another new Etsy shop that I fell in love with.

This young designer has big dreams of taking her creations world wide. This is what she said about herself and her product.

For the past twenty-two years, I have lived in a small town called North Haledon of North New Jersey. Living only twenty minutes from the city, I intended on working there one day and break out of the small town girl life.

Since I was five years old, I have dreamed of being in the fashion industry like my mother and aunt . My mother had always told me I had a gift, one in which I could put together an outfit for myself or someone else. She also admired my ability to go into a store like Forever 21 and find the most perfect ensemble with coordinating accessories while the store was basically torn upside down.

At eighteen years old, I got accepted to the University of Delaware and graduated four years later with a Bachelor of Science in Fashion Merchandising. Unfortunately, Spring semester of 2009 meant one of the worst economic times since the Great Depression. I knew my career and goals wouldn't come so easily. While everyone was partying their last semester of college, I began turning my graduation blues into something that would unknowingly become a craze. The trends were hot and even with less money I knew I had to keep up on my style. I went out to the local craft store in Delaware and started picking up anything I could find; flowers, feathers, pearls, and rhinestones. I sat down and could not stop! I was making pins and headbands just like in the magazines, except for a fraction of the cost.

Soon roommates, friends, and strangers began noticing my hair accessories and wanted a piece of the collection. I began by giving them away and then the selling started. My creations improved and more and more people took notice.

I now enjoy researching the latest trends and designing headbands that are comfortable and unique. Once I see a band that someone else is selling that looks similar, I discard the design and work on something new. I now get special requests, especially weddings and parties, and soon hope to promote via the Housewives of NJ.

Dana's Etsy Shop

Thanks Dana, for joining in the commotion over her in Left Field. Best of luck to you.

Candy Factory

2009-08-26T06:00:00.002-04:00

Check out these prints...

Wouldn't one of these look super cute, framed up on your kitchen wall? Well your in luck. Myan from The Candy Factory is donating a 5 X 7 print to my giveaway. You will get to go to her Etsy shop and pick which one you want, and she will ship it to you.

It gets better... She is having a SALE in her shop RIGHT NOW! Buy one get one FREE! How can you beat that?

Myan is an artist/photographer originally from the east coast, currently living in Los Angeles. After working as a TV graphic designer and a TV promotions producer, she went back to her first love, photography.

Her passion for art and photography is fueled by any opportunity to convey life in one little box full of light, colors, and imagination. From L.A. to NYC, Great Britain to Sweden, Australia to Taiwan, she is honored that her art has traveled around the world to be cherished and displayed in numerous intimate collections.

I personally lover her Candy Factory Collection, which she just recently opened. She also has another shop on Etsy, see below, and a home page that flows like an art studio.

zuppaartista.etsy.com

myanartstudio.com

I almost forgot... She blogs too. How freakin' cool is that. Go pop in and say HI!
Urban Junkies Artist Lounge

Many thanks to Myan for donating her services to the party. Now if we could just get to that golden 100 Followers, I can kick this bash into gear!

Random Tuesday Fun

2009-08-25T07:45:00.004-04:00

So I am feeling a little lazy this week. Or is it brain fried, from listing all this stuff on Etsy. So I am serving up another video from my photobucket album... Enjoy

I really should make more videos. They are fun, and totally easy blog posts.

Hey over the weekend Sexy Papa and I opened up a new Etsy Shop. You know I rely on you guys to tell me whats good, so have a look and leave me some feedback.

Sweet Baby onesie $17.00

Coordinating Hot Mama Tee $33.00

Babies are the Bomb $17.00

No No Onsie $17.00

Kids "smile" Tee $24.00

We will have all kinds of stuff in there, tattoo and punk rock related. I even came up with a maternity t-shirt. There are guys shirts too.
The Punk Rawk Shop
By The Way, I drew all the graphics on those shirts...except the smile. That one my cousins boyfriend came up with. I just cleaned it up and made it look more like tattoo flash. I had so much fun making these over the weekend. I was a nice break from a months worth of Christmas stuff.

OK back to work for me. Head on over to The Un-Mom to get in on Random Tuesday-ness. Yeah, I know mine was a little lazy, but I made up for that last week. Sue me.

Love this video

2009-08-24T07:30:00.000-04:00

So while surfing through my Photobucket albums, I came across this little gem...

I love my family! That's my cousin with my youngest daughter a couple years ago.

We were at a cook out at my brother's beach house.

In case you missed yesterdays list of prizes for the upcoming giveaway/party

Check it out

100 Followers Giveaway Update

2009-08-23T09:00:00.000-04:00

So, I have been busy these last couple of weeks. Gathering a fab group of Etsy shopkeepers who want to participate in the giveaway. So far we have 7 participants who are donating a wide variety of things. I thought it would be fun to run through a list of things to be won:

The book thong from Nann BeadsByNann. I already have this in my hot little hands.

A fun and funky wine glass, to use while reading blogs, sipping wine!

A sweet treats, frame worthy, print

Some shopkeepers are making items just for the giveaway, like:

A custom dog tag necklace that says "Blogging is Sexy". How perfect is that?

A fabulous couture headband.

Plus, lets not forget about my own stuff:

Princess pre-cut quilting squares.

Stack of Halloween Fat Quarters

A $25.00 Victoria's Secret Gift Card

A complete Rag Quilting Kit

Plus a $25.00 Gift Certificate to my Etsy shop, to spend on whatever you like... such as

This is my idea of what a Christmas Stocking would look like, If Mary Englebright and Dr. Suess designed it.

Fabric Scrapbook Covers

And... For all my tattooed punk rawk friends

OK people. We are still floundering around the 85 mark. As you can see we have some good stuff here. Plus we are going to play a little game during the giveaway. It's going to be so much fun. So send all your friends over here and have them follow me too. I am hoping to kick this off the first week of Sept. Around the 7th... IF I see 100 followers on my follow me widget on the side bar.

What are you waiting for? Do it now!

And this one time... I got drunk

2009-08-21T19:45:00.000-04:00

Way Way Way, back in the day, before I had kids, I used to be a bit of a party animal. So, yeah, a little more than 'this one time...'. But this one time, I surprised even myself.

OK, so picture me, 10+ years younger, we'll say early 20's. I share an uber cool apartment with 3 guys. (I don't tend to live well with other women, go figure.) None of which I am romantically involved with, if I can just point that out. A drag queen, a DJ, and my friend Josh, who does lights for concerts. We are the cool kids, right? Did I forget to mention I was a go-go dancer? Sorry bout that. Now you think we are the cool kids right?

It's my birthday, I won't mention which one. My friend Josh and a couple of our other friends, decide to take me out on the town. Out on the town for us is a bar. Skip movies or dinner, get straight to the drinking.

Before I forget to mention, my birthday is in Feb. We were down in VA Beach celebrating. The bars at the beach are not very busy in the winter time. Aside from a few hardcore locals, the place was pretty much empty. Does that stop us from having a good time? Hell no.

Most of the bars around here allot the bartenders a "tab" to give away. Well since it's wasn't busy, and... I was a little hottie back in the day, and... It was my birthday, the bartender served me his entire tab. ON TOP OF all the drinks my friends were pouring into me.

At some point I woke up on the bar, where I had slumped over... The bartender behind me tickling my back. It was definitely time to go. Thank good for designated drivers. It was a long ride home, but I managed not to throw up. Unlike my girlfriend who needed us to stop on the highway so she could expel some Jagermeister, among other things.

The next day found me in our large claw footed bathtub with my (male) roommate scrubbing my back with orange pumas soap. He was trying to remove the large butterfly, that apparently the bartender drew on me with a big black marker. Because I had to work later that night. Did I mention I was a go-go dancer?

Believe it or not, I took a dozen or so more time for me to realize Jager is not my friend!
Thanks for letting me share.

Huh...TMI?

2009-08-18T07:36:00.001-04:00

Since I am such a giver and in a sharing mood....
Prepare yourself for the best Random Tuesday post ever!!!

We had spaghetti for dinner last night. I ate the other half of a loaf of garlic bread for breakfast.

Every time I get out a paper plate, I can't help but fan myself with it.

I came into the kitchen to get some advil for my headache. Which reminded me of my ulcer, which reminded me to take my prevacid, which I did with a full glass of water like a good girl. 20 mins later, I went back to the kitchen to get some advil for my headache, because I got distracted the first time.

I love mayonaise. I eat cheese sandwiches because it's a reason to eat mayonaise.

I don't like soda. The bubbles irritate me. It is a very rare occasion if you see me drinking it. Like if there was nothing else. But I really like beer. Those bubbles don't bother me a bit.

I can't wait for school to start. Not that I don't love my kids, or even the little girl I babysit. It's just that I am sick of being stuck with them all.freaking.day!

I don't argue with someone unless I know I'm right. And if I can't convince you that your wrong, then I will simply let it go. Why? Knowing I'm right is enough for me. I feel like if I can't point you in the right direction, then your a moron, and there is probably no hope for you anyway.

I got my tubes tied without asking my husband. If he wasn't going to help with babies, then he didn't get an opinion on the matter.

I have lots of funny stories that I want to tell you guys. But I can't ever remember what I was going to write about when I sit down to write.

Do you ever have a hard time dragging your self out of the clutches of sleep? Say when you hear an odd noise in the house in the middle of the night. Yeah, so does Sexy Papa.

My oldest, DQ, left yesterday morning to spend 5 days in D.C. with my Mom. Is it bad that I consider that a mini-vacation for me?

I love shopping. It really makes me feel better. I don't think it's about spending money. I think it's more about having alone time. Because I don't love it so much when someone else is with me.

Hows this for random? A pile of denim.
What do you see?

How about now?

This one is a little easier to make out.

Because when I see a pile of squares, I see something cool.
Like repurposed denim stockings!

I had so much fun making these. And really, that's what it's all about. Enjoyment.

OK, that'll do it for me today. Get in on the action... Go see The Un-Mom and play along.

10 Things I Hate About You

2009-08-13T07:00:00.000-04:00

It's Thrusday, time for writers workshop. I love this prompt... seems to be just what I was looking for.
4.) List ten things you would say to ten different people in your life...if you had the hutzpah.

Sexy Papa: Lead by example. You can not get pissed off when DQ doesn't remember to do what you asked, when you rarely remember to do what I ask.

DQ: Some days I find it very hard not to put your head through a wall.

Itty Bit: If you don't stop screaming about every.little.thing I may be forced to strangle you.

Mom: DQ and Itty Bit are not your children. They are mine. While appreciate your trying to "help" I am not going to do it your way. Stop fussing at me as if I were 13 years old.

Allison: I knew Chris wasn't good for you, but I didn't say anything. I just liked that you were happy. I'm sorry.

Dora: I am so glad you and Bart aren't together anymore. But enough time has passed, you can come home now. I hate that your so far away.

Abby: You need to leave your husband. I don't know why you put up with it.

Abby's Husband: Your an asshole, and your kids don't want to come home when you are there alone. If your not going to be nice to your family, you should at least watch your back. I may kill you myself.

Elderly Neighbor: We are non-denominational. We believe in God, but we don't believe in organized religion. My children are free to choose what they feel best when they are older. I am never going to let them go to sunday school or vacation bible school with you. Stop asking.

Brother: It really upsets me when you act like I am a mean parent. You don't have kids, therefore you aren't entitled to an opinion.

Post Script: Wow, after reading that, I sound depressing and violent. Don't take it literally people. I have no intention of killing anyone... And I never touch my kids, that's probably why they act like little shits sometimes.

BONUS: 10 things I want to say to people I don't know, but totally would if I had the chance....

PETA: You have potential to make a difference in the world, if you would stop acting like an extremist group. As of right now, your not far from being lumped in with terrorist.

Haynes Furniture: You have a sale twice a week, which leads me to believe the "sale" price is just your regular price with a bow on it. I am not the only one who has noticed. Spend less money on massive advertising for sales and actually give me a sale price!

Radio stations: When I hear a Haynes commercial, I change the channel. I am betting your other advertisers wouldn't be happy to hear that.

TV Stations: See above? Same to you.

New Mailman: I know it's a pain in the ass to deliver all those sale papers and what not, But I actually look forward to some of them, ahem, I NEED my Joann's Fabrics coupons!!!

Rush Limbaugh: Shut the fuck up already. You sound like an uneducated driveling moron, and we are all laughing at you.

Bill O'reilly: You should quit while your ahead. Your giving Republicans a bad name.

Networks: A "season" of television is more than 5 new episodes in a row. A "season" Starts in Sept. and goes straight on through until May, with maybe a break for the holidays. Got it!!!?

Dell: If a computer is going to cost me the same as a down payment on a house, it should last more than 2 fucking years!!!!

Democrats: Where are you when all the fear injected protesters are disrupting town hall meetings? We really need to get together and say we are For some sort of change!

Thank you for your attention, you may now return to your regularly scheduled lives.

If you want to participate, go hit up Mama's Losin' It. She posts the assignments every Wed. So you have no excuse not to play along.

To Hell or The Zoo?

2009-08-12T18:45:00.000-04:00

I was such a good parent/babysitter and took all the girls to the zoo. We would have gone yesterday, but it was forcast to be 10 degrees cooler today. I was actually excited about this. We could get out of the house, which we don't do much, and go see somethings we don't normally see. Sounds like a good idea....

NOT

Turns out the zoo isn't even remotely worth the trouble.

We weren't in the gate before Itty Bit started complaining about the heat. I know she doesn't like it when it's hot. But they ALL wanted to go to the zoo. Surely she understood the zoo is outside?

As we stood in line for tickets I explained to them: We will all stay together and we will not be eating lunch here. (Zoo food sucks, to say nothing of the cost.) Fair enough right? They all agreed.

10 minutes later, they all start to complain about how hot it is. "Can we sit down in the shade? I am sweating." Blah, blah, blah. I am allergic to direct sunlight. I have on long pants and a long sleeve shirt. I point this out to them, and say I haven't even broken a sweat yet.

Somewhere along the way DQ appointed herself the field trip leader. She and Miss. Thang (the girl I watch) kept getting ahead of me and Itty Bit. I kept telling them to wait up. Then we would all stop to look at an animal, only to be told a moment later by DQ "OK, let's go." Several times I had to remind her that she is not the mother or the boss.

We stopped to buy a bottle of water, for 2.25 mind you, and all have a rest. The whining continues, and I say if everyone is so miserable, we could just go home. No No. Not 10 steps later, they want to sit down again. I'm like holy crap. I can't believe these kids.

We were about half way through the zoo when I let them go play in the water fountains. Our zoo has the tall shooting water spouts in a courtyard style area that the kids are encouraged to get wet in. Itty Bit doesn't like to get wet, but they other 2 were all for it.

Itty Bit and I were sitting on a bench on the outside of the courtyard, holding all the "stuff". DQ and Miss Thang come slinking over to us, and I ask "What?" DQ mumbles something about a baby being in the water so I say "So?" They both had this morified look on their faces. "What about the baby?" I ask. "We stepped on her." DQ says. I was in complete shock. And I am searching the area for a baby who might have been stepped on. Nothing! "Where is the baby?" I ask. DQ points to a woman with a baby wrapped in a towel standing by a stroller. "Oh My God, what did you two do?"

I snatch up Itty Bit and all our stuff and race over to the woman. "Excuse me, did one of my girls knock your baby over?" The woman looks up and sees DQ and says "If that's your kid in the black (She was wearing purple) then yeah, she plowed her right over." I am instantly appoligizing up and down. This lady is pissed. I would have been too. Well I was pissed, actually. This baby couldn't have been more than a year old. My 2 were busy running around like maniacs and smacked right into her. Poor thing.

That was it for me... I told the girls I'd had it and we were going home! To top it all off, the back seats in the car are soaked, because, of course, my crack heads didn't have time to dry before they got in.

But the animals were nice. They didn't mind the heat at all.

He gives new meaning to butt ugly monkey. His hind end was all shades of the rainbow.

Up close and personal with a giraffe. The girls seem less than impressed.

Some BIG striped deer type thing with long horns?

A teeny tiny fox.

Wrestling meerkats

Grumpy Children

The star of our zoo, the red panda. She is actually pretty big. Her mate is up in the tree behind her. They have escaped their enclosure twice.

Some of the Kool Kids

2009-08-12T06:00:00.000-04:00

You all know I think I am brilliant, so I am sure you will agree with me when I say these people are fan-fucking-tastic. I have been handing out the "New Favorite Award" here and there. It's time for a mass awarding. I have really been looking at great newborn or toddler stage blogs lately. I thought you would think me Fab-u-lous for sharing. So here we go.

The following people are entitled to My New Favorites Award. In order to be considered for this award, your blog must be relatively new, I say with in the last 6 months. AND must evoke a response from me... Laughing out loud, Fit the bill for obnoxious, give me something useful in everyday life... You get the idea.

Be kind and pass it on to just one of Your new favorite blogs.

KrisGC is a great story teller. She kicked her hubby out of the car!

Frannie Fires Back Is not nearly as scary as her photo depicts.

Happily AFTER ever Rocks the mole who looks like a penis

I'm Just Saying... Totally not afraid of the word fuck.

Moments, Not the Milestones Has some interesting stuff to say.

Read With Girlfriends is a new book club blog I found.

The Half-Assed Housewife says it all in her real life blog

Alright then... That will just about do it for my list of new favorites. Show some love to your new favorites, you can copy the image code from my side bar.

And now, because I am so addicted to your praise... I got these done too. I know I am the shit. I am almost done with all my stockings now. I am excited to get them listed in Sept. BTW, most of the stockings have coordinating tree ornaments available too.

Yeah Random Tues.

2009-08-11T07:00:00.000-04:00

Random Tuesday... Oh how I love thee. Of all the days of the week, you are the one who best understands me.

Yep, this is what I remember of VA summers. HOT. A heat index of 109 yesterday. And not the "dry heat" that everyone seems to think isn't soooo bad. The nasty, humid, sticky heat, that dictates I let my children stay inside all day long.

The passion that Republicans feel about the possible changes to health care, as upset as all the protesters are... I would bet that all those screaming, ranting, fear soaked lunatics have insurance. As pissed off as they are, I am just as pissed off because I can't go to the fucking Doctor. I DON'T have insurance. Because it will cost my family almost 900 bucks a month to be covered. And can I just say, for the record, that's WAY more than 10% of our monthly income.

I am only 15 followers away from my 100 followers goal. I got the book thong in the mail from Nann yesterday. Thanks Nann! Plus, I finished up a couple more stockings over the weekend. I was thinking of listing these as a twin set. What do you think?

I know they are not traditional Christmas themed, but I thought they were cute.

Getting a kid registered for school is a pain in the ass.

Hey did you guys know I am a contributor to The Real World: Venus vs. Mars ? No, you probably didn't. I only just signed on last week. You should go check it out. We talk about all kinds of stuff, including s e x!

Get in on the Randomness that is Random Tuesday. And you too could feel the love I have for this modest day of the week. Or you could just visit The Un-Mom to see who else is spouting off at the mouth in total randomness.

Tags, Awards and Tattoos

2009-08-08T18:49:00.007-04:00

Tag I'm it? Oh I got tagged alright. Last week sometime, and totally flaked on it. Facts From a Fact Woman had a very interesting, but sort of confusing, tag session on her blog last week. And in true duck duck goose fashion, came runnin around that circle, smacked me on the head and took off. No not really.

OK, well I don't hand out homework to others but I am happy to participate.

►Open your first photo folder
►Scroll down to the 10th photo.
►Post that photo and the story about that photo on your blog.

So This is what I come up with... A photo of the tattoo on my husbands back. Did I mention I worked in a tattoo studio in Detroit? Yeah, I think I have somewhere. Anyway, the dragon head is the 2nd tattoo I did for my husband. I thought it turned out pretty good. Far better than the 1st one I did when I was still "learning".
This photo was taken right after I finished. Still raw and red. It's kinda cool, cuz the tips of the long horns stick out, just a bit, from his shirts.

OK, now that's out of the way, moving on...

Another award for another great new(ish) blogger.
Lil' Miss June Freakin' Clever , This bod, um I mean award is for you.

Alrighty, I think that's it for me today. Hope everyone had a good weekend. I'll catch up with everyone tomorrow.

I am The Bomb...

2009-08-07T05:31:00.001-04:00

No really... I think I just figured out how to schedule posts. I know, duh right?
Not only that, but I put the finishing touches on 3 stockings. You can right click the photos to see the bigger view. Notice the details, they make the stocking!

So we are at 84 followers and counting...
I have another Etsy shopkeeper who wants to participate in the giveaway. (if you are an etsy shopkeeper, and you want to participate in the giveaway, contact me!) I will do a write up on her when she is finished with the piece she is creating just for the giveaway. And see those stockings up there? By the time school starts, I will have a bunch of them listed in my etsy shop and will be giving away one, winners choice right from the shop.

Plus, if things go well, I will be posting a Foxy Friday entry later today. Keep an eye out, you might hate to miss the eye full.

So yeah, I am The Bomb.

100 Followers Update

2009-08-06T06:36:00.003-04:00

Real quick I would like to say I now have 78 followers. We are almost there. 1 month to get 22 new followers. Think we can do it? OK, moving on...

Today I want to introduce you to Nann. She is the Etsy Shopkeeper of Blessed Beads By Nann. She created the cutest little things called Book Thongs.

Nann lives in St. Lois and has been crafting all her life. She spent 20 years as a Home Economics teacher. She also owned her own dress making/bridal business for 6 years.

Bead work is relatively new to Nann. She started by making rosaries and things progressed from there. Although she has had great success with brick and mortar stores, she is new to Etsy.

I got the impression that even though she works with jewelry, she might also be addicted to fabric. Sound like anyone else we know? She is also new to the blog world. You can check out her blog.

Nann has been kind enough to contribute this butterfly book thong to my 100 Followers Giveaway.

In addition to the book thongs, her shop also has:

Lanyards
$15.00

Eyeglass holders
$12.00

Bracelets
$9.00

And much more. Her items are very reasonably priced. Bonus... She is having a Summer Sale of sorts. 33% off !!! Please go check her out and support handmade in America.

Blessed Beads By Nann

Be Aware of this new ailment, Writers workshop

2009-08-06T01:31:00.000-04:00

Writers workshop... That time of the week where I bow to Kat's feet for relieving me of the task: What to write about today? Get in on the fun, head on over to Mama's Losin' It and check it out.

This week we had interesting topics to choose from. One of which was: 2.) Share with us something you made by hand. That was just too easy for me, so I took a different prompt.

1.) What's ailing you? Diagnose yourself with a syndrome.

Today I would like to talk a little about a newly acknowledge illness, B.M.I. syndrome. This affliction has been around for a long time, but doctors and psychologist are finally getting around to admitting it exist. I suspect it took them so long, because these fields are mostly dominated by men, and B.M.I. syndrome mostly affects women.

I am personally an expert in this syndrome, because I suffer from it myself. I want to bring awareness to this issue, and let other women know they are not alone. If you suffer from these symptoms, it is likely that you also have B.M.I. syndrome.

Exhaustion and excessive sleepiness
Unexplained weight gain or loss due to forgetting to eat and then stuffing the first thing you find in your mouth.
Forgetfulness. As in repeating to yourself, over and over, what you need to do when your done peeing, and still not doing it, because it slipped your mind.
Occasional paranoia.
Long term Amnesia of important dates and events.
Short term Amnesia, an inability to remember if you paid a certain bill or ate lunch.
Problems with coordination like walking into walls. Though it is assumed this is a result of the exhaustion.
Consumption of unusually large amounts of coffee or other caffeinated drinks.

Some patients may also suffer from more sever symptoms including:
Daily headaches making it hard to see straight.
Ulcers due to the amount of nsaids you take for your headaches.
An inability to get cartoon jingles out of your head.
Sever moodiness as a result not being able to watch your favorite TV show.

Other, considerably less affected patients may only exhibit mild symptoms.
Hairy legs
Bags under eyes
Long toenails
Considering an hour of uninterrupted blog reading time as a vacation.
Dirty hair

What does B.M.I. stand for? Why Busy Mommy Itis of course. B.M.I. is also commonly referred to as Mommy Brain. It is often mistaken for early onset Alzheimer. Extreme cases can mimic schizophrenia.

At this time, there is no known cure for B.M.I. The good news is that it is not a permanent ailment, as symptoms generally subside when your children leave for college or move out of the house. Unfortunately for some, by the time that happens, other ailments may have already started to develop. Such as dementia from old age.

Blog Withdrawl, Did you miss me?

2009-08-05T06:44:00.001-04:00

Eh, probably not. But I missed you and that's all that counts. I have been without a computer in the house for long enough to say, I am not even going to attempt to catch up on what everyone else posted. I'm not even sure it's fixed, but I won't get into that.

It's amazing what one can accomplish when one is not in front of the puter reading blogs.

I kept seeing all these super cool designs in quilts and thinking "how did they do that?" Before the puter died, I had designed a quilt layout grid for creating quilt blocks. Easy enough. Once I started playing around with layouts and designs I thought "Oh I bet other people could use these too."

So then of course I had to make samples. Then I came up with a couple wall hanging patterns too. These turned out so good. If you don't mind, I am going to toot my own horn here a bit... I am very proud of them.

I may have the patterns up on Etsy later this week, but for now I just want to show off.

Ribbons

Modified Pinwheel

Interlaced Diamonds

Wall Hangings

Country house. This one is backed and quilted.

Heart

I think this one is my favorite. It's 40" X 30", so it's pretty big. Plus I made the whole thing with 2" strips sewn together. When I am done quilting it, I think I will add button "ornaments" and chenille garland.

Some of the smaller ones will be turned into scrapbook covers. I may sell some of the wall hangings, though I haven't decided yet.

In other news, I have 2 Etsy shop owners who want to donate to the 100 Followers giveaway. Stay tuned as I will do a feature on everyone who contributes.

Ticks, Opinions & Awards

2009-07-26T13:58:00.002-04:00

First off today: My computer was ticking. Luckily for me I knew what that sound was. The rythmic ticking of a hard drive preparing to die. I managed to get all my files moved over to the external storage drive. And then I ordered a new hard drive. With any luck it will be here in a few days, so I won't be offline for too long. Cross your fingers.

In other news: I need everyone's opinion. Remember I told you I came up with the design for Scrapbook covers. Well I made 7 of them to sell last week. I asked Sexy Papa what to price them at and he was no help. So now I am asking you. What should I Price these at? I have them listed on etsy for 24.99, because I felt like I would pay that for one of these.

p.s. I will be giving one of these away in Sept.

And lastly:
Thanks to Frannie over at Frannie Fires Back for the Honest Scrap Award. Am I to believe this? I have to tell 10 things about me that no one else knows? I am pretty much an open book. Then I have to pass it on to 10 other people?

As I am not much into handing out homework, I am going to skip the pass it on part. But I will give you my list of 10 Things you (may or) may not know about me.

1. I am addicted to coffee. There are a lot of things I can live without, coffee is not one of them. You wouldn't even want to be around me if I tried.

2. My middle name is Jacqueline. That is also the name of the only other girl that Sexy Papa loved.

3. I am addicted to fabric. I get crabby if I have to go to long without fabric shopping. Yeah I know, I am an addictive personality.

4. I am allergic to the sun. No seriously, I am. I wasn't always allergic, only for about the last 10 years. If I get direct exposure, I break out in hive that can last as long as a month.

5. I hate having water in my face. Washing it is one thing, but don't splash me in the face, or it is on like donkey kong!

6. I really wish I had a dishwasher. Our house was built in the 50's and it has not been added yet. I usually don't mind washing dishes by hand, but I am seriously wishing I had a dishwasher.

7. I have been known to leave clean clothes in the basket for upwards of a week.

8. I hate spiders, but don't mind snakes. In fact my roommate used to have a 12 foot boa, named Perry, and I rather liked him. But don't come at me with a spider.

Wow, OK, this is harder than I thought. So I am going to leave it at 8.

If you don't hear from me this week, it's because I don't have a puter. I will catch up with everyone, I promise. Until next time people, good day!

Foxy Friday, Sugar Kane

2009-07-24T07:59:00.004-04:00

As much as I love Tuesday for it's randomness, Friday is actually my favorite day of the week. No, not because it's payday, although that is nice too.
For all my new followers, let me introduce you to Foxy Friday. The day when I spotlight a smokin' hot celebrity. To see all the other Foxy Fridays you missed, hit the tag on my sidebar.

If you look up the name Christian Kane, you may see photos of Christian Bale or some sweaty, scary wrestler named Kane. But mostly you'll see this guy.

I first saw him on Leverage that airs on TNT. Love that show. You should check it out. And not just because of Kane's character, Elliot.
When I looked him up for this post, I discovered he is also a singer. And a pretty good one at that. His band is called Kane. In this montage video he is singing a song he wrote. I also like the story he tells before the song.

Getting Giddy-Writers Workshop

2009-07-23T07:29:00.002-04:00

For this weeks writers workshop I was going to choose #1. They just don't make (fill in the blank) like they used to! But I fear that would be a really long list. As I have recently become disappointed in the manufactures/companies of most of my everyday products.

So instead of going on a lunatic rant I skipped down to #3. What are YOU giddy about?

To participate in all the fun, head over to Mama's Losin' It. She is the shiznit!

I am not a person who is easily amused. It takes a lot of effort to evoke a giddy response from me.

New Babies, new tattoos and new season premiers of my favorite shows make me giddy, but not necessarily in that order.

Something about the excitement of the arrival of a new tiny human, especially when they were mine, makes me giddy. I can barely contain my joy, and I think that pretty well describes the essence of giddy.

New tattoos, again, especially when they are mine, make me squirrely beyond believe. Every time I get a new one, Sexy Papa is sure to get laid. Is that bad? Although giving them doesn't make me nearly as excited, I still enjoy it. Usually.

I am nearly jumping out of my skin in Sept. waiting for my shows to come back on. But after an entire summer of crappy TV, I think that is understandable.

I also get giddy when my best girlfriend comes to visit, or I am making the trip to see her. She used to live in MI, and now in TN. Both very far away from me! But every now and then we manage to pull a road trip out of our ass. The day of her arrival I am bouncing off the walls, and running around like a crazy person.

Things that don't make me giddy... Diamonds, Cute Boys, New Cars. I go for the simpler things in life.

I'm Not Done Yet

2009-07-22T07:13:00.002-04:00

Seems as though I am not done being random yet. Yesterday was such a hurried post. I can only think in random bits as of right now, so how about another dose?

Watchmen--The movie--SUCKED. I heard good things about it. People were raging on about this movie. Seriously? What the hell is the matter with you people? Maybe they were in an LSD trance, but I am pretty sure even then I would think it sucked. One of the worst movies I have seen in a long time.

I am so envious. Seems like every blog I click on this week has something to say about Blogher. I so want to go. So this morning, Itty Bit got up a little early and was standing beside me while I read through my blog list. Sexy Papa comes in to say goodbye, and I mention my longing to go to Blogher. Then I turned to Itty Bit and asked "Is it OK is Mommy goes to Chicago for a week?" She slightly shook her head yes, and then buried herself into me for a big hug. "Would you miss me if I were gone for a week?" No answer. She is still clutching tightly to me. So I tip her chin up and notice she is misty eyed. "What's the matter with you?" I ask. Itty Bit is unable to speak. She simply points at me and then throws her head back into me. "Oh honey," I assure her "Mommy is not leaving for a week. I was just kidding."

I try to be good. I really do. I keep most of my foul language from coming out of my mouth. Neatly contained in my fuming head. But yesterday I had the overwhelming need to say --FUCK--. Have you ever given yourself 2nd degree burns with a glue gun. Holy shit Batman. That hurts. Right on the pad of my finger. But it was for a good cause. I was making a padded pushpin board so I could easily photograph items that need to hang.

I took a scrap piece of drywall and added poly batting and a pretty white fabric. Looks good right? Well it works good. Now if you will excuse me, I have to go dip my finger in ice water.

My cat thinks my long curly hair is an appropriate substitute for grass. That is the only reason I can think of for her eating my hair... while.I.sleep! Which of course wakes me up. Her wake-up calls are one of the reasons I am thinking about cutting it all off.

And the award goes to...
I found another cool blog. She lets it all hang out and isn't afraid to tell it like it is. Click on over to see what it's all about. The Constant Chill.

OK, Real Quick, RTT

2009-07-21T06:37:00.002-04:00

I am kinda pressed for time this AM. Lots to get done today. So this is going to have to be a quick RTT. But I do so love me some RTT, I just couldn't skip another week.

To get in on the action go visit Keely over at The Un Mom. She is awesome in her zombie paranoia.

I hate laundry. I don't hate washing it. It's just the folding it, and I loath putting it away. It's on my do to list for today.

We lost a big ass branch in a nasty storm last week. And when I say 'big ass' I mean at least 20 feet long. Fell right out of that tree next to the house and landed on the fence. I am not at all upset... I am thrilled it didn't hit the house.

For those of you who are not regulars here... I created a new award this week. It's for people who are new bloggers who we think are funny or interesting.

Feel free to give it out if you like. The code for the image is on my sidebar.

I had to pay a $186 ticket yesterday. Which sucks when I think about how much fabric I could have purchased with that money. Oh well, life goes on.

Again, for those of you who aren't regulars here, I am in the middle of a 100 followers campaign. I am well on my way, and when I reach my goal I will be hosting a big giveaway party. You can get the details here.

OK, I really must run. Thanks for stopping by today.

HA HA, I get to give it away now.

2009-07-20T22:55:00.002-04:00

So just in case to many of you were hitting the wine a little hard this evening, I am just going to point out that I got my HTML box thingy.

I am handing out the first award to John and Steve are Having a Baby. Even though I can't stand anything Bruno. So I just ignored that post. They are new bloggers, or at least that blog is new. You should go check them out.

Here ya go guys.

Should you feel free to bestow this award on your favorite new blogger, please feel free to copy the code on the sidebar.

Got Widget Secrets?

2009-07-20T09:48:00.005-04:00

Recently I have picked up on a couple new bloggers who are kinda funny. This got me thinking I should make an award for new bloggers.

See this image?

It's on my sidebar now. I made it myself. Mom would be so proud !) I wanted others to be able to copy the code so they could give this award to other new blogger. I just can't figure out how to put an html code box under it. You know what I mean don-cha? Where blogger put buttons or badges on their page with html code and they say Link to me with this badge? I want one, and I can't figure out how to get one!

So if you are an all knowing powerful blog widget god/goddess, please bestow your knowledge upon me!

Oh yeah, and if you want to give this award to someone, feel free. But until I get a html code box, you'll have to save the image yourself.

Update: I was pointed in the direction of another very helpful blog. I feel so thrilled to have found this help I thought I would share...

Happy Monday

2009-07-20T07:48:00.002-04:00

So... I had a pretty good weekend. DQ was grounded from TV and Wii for the weekend. I think that lead to some of the peace. Although since she wasn't using the Wii, Sexy Papa put it to good use. I had to remind him yesterday that Itty Bit was NOT grounded. Since he had been playing for the better part of 7 hours. When he kept saying he was almost done, I had to teach Itty Bit a life lesson that all women learn eventually.

I showed her how to stand in a mans line of vision, cross her arms and visibly tap her foot. Sexy Papa didn't think it was as funny as I did. But come on, the poor kid hadn't watch any cartoons yet.

Saturday I cleaned the house. I love a clean house, but with 3 kids running around leaving a trail of stuff in their wake, I am having a hard time keeping up. Anyway I got things back in order and clean(ish). And we finally put up the fishing net behind a collage of frames I have behind my couch.

My brother Steve was visiting from DC, so we had him and my Mom over for dinner Sat. night. Nothing fancy. Taco night with beer. We all tossed the football around for a while and I noticed that my Moms words were getting a little thick. My Mom will be the first to admit her favorite foods are beer and popcorn. But it is not often that she actually has to much to drink. She is a very responsible, 73 year old, family matriarch. So I find it a tad bit funny when she gets tipsy. Thank goodness my brother was here and able to drive her home. She didn't come back for her car until dinner time yesterday.

Sunday I finished stuffing and painting all my Christmas ornaments. I lit a fire under my own ass, because I promised myself I wouldn't work on any other projects until they were done. See I have this problem of starting projects and then abandoning them for something more fun. But I did get them done.
I wanted to get them out of the way so that I could work on a new idea I had about a week ago. Scrapbook Covers. I have 3 huge scrapbooks that I have done. But they are in just plain "books". I wanted something that better fit the personality of the subject. I had been working out the pattern in my head for a while. After destroying the first 2 covers I attempted, I came up with a great pattern. After completing covers for the 3 books I have, I am confident in creating these for sale. I have lots of cool ideas for the ones I want to make and I hope everyone loves them. It only took me about 2 hours to make one, so it's not a huge commitment, like a rag quilt. I will be playing around with them some more today.

The 100 Followers Campaign

2009-07-18T16:21:00.002-04:00

My plot to take over the web... Details here.

In addition to these prizes

Victoria's Secret Gift Cards
Personalized Christmas Stocking
Embroidered Scrapbook Cover

I am adding the following for my sewing followers

Fat Quarter Bundles
Rag Quilt Kit

Stay tuned to see what else might be added to the giveaway.

Don't forget, if you want to contribute to the giveaway goodies, you can contact me. I am sure I would be happy to offer your product too!

Plotting my web takeover

2009-07-17T20:14:00.003-04:00

Hello fellow bloggers and bloggets. Remember the old cartoon, Pinky and The Brain? I do, I loved that show. And at the end of every show Pinky would ask what they were gonna do tonight, and The Brain would answer "the same thing we do every night Pinky. Try to take over the world."

Well I am not trying to take over the world. The Republicans have messed it up so bad, I couldn't possibly fix it. But I am plotting on taking over the web with my wit and charm, and big mouth.

Join me won't you? I currently have 59 followers through blogger. (No idea how many people read me in thier reader thingy's. If you know how to get that info please share.) I know I have more followers. Through a couple of trackers I know lots of people are reading me.... I am rambling again.

Anyway... I would like to have 100 followers by the time school starts. I know, it's very ambitious, but I am not afraid to dream big. See this image? It's on the side bar of my blog page. I need people to follow me there.

Now I am thinking to myself "Self, how am I going to nearly double my followers in the next 45 days or so?" I could host pictures of naked people, whatever your fancy... I could send out hitmen to hold people hostage until they follow... Nah that might lead to my arrest... I could resurrect a band of ZOMBIES, but then people might run like hell, and not have time to sign into blogger... I could give stuff away. Everyone loves some free stuff. Yep, that settles it, Bribery it is!

So if I can get 100 followers by Sept. 7th (that's when school starts here) I will host a mega giveaway!

Already on the list to "giveaway"...

Multiple Victoria's Secret gift cards. I love VS
Personalized Christmas stocking They are awesome!
Embroidered scrapbook cover Also very cute.
Personal stripper pole lessons... Just kidding.

And in an effort to support handmade, I think I will visit some of my favorite Etsy sellers and do a little shopping there too.

If you are interested in having me give away your NEW stuff, (I don't give away junk) please contact me and I will be happy to host your link on the side bar through the end of the year.

I am going to work on getting pictures up of the giveaway items, so stay tuned. This could be very big! With lots of winners. So tell your friends, tell your family, tell your dentist!

And if you have any suggestions on how to take over the web, please feel free to share. The zombies will be very happy.

P.S. If you follow me I will follow you back. See everyone's a winner already!

Foxy Friday or No?

2009-07-17T07:14:00.002-04:00

First of all, let me just say, you guys are awesome! I go and admit to my total freakishness, and you all come back to tell me you love me more. There is still a side of me that loves all things punkish styles. You'll see what I mean when I unveil my new line of Holiday Stockings and matching ornaments. I can't wait for my next giveaway now. I am planning one for my 100th post, if I can wait that long.

I am also planning on going into more detail about yesterdays post. Behind the scenes at a go-go bar... Showcasing some of my tattoo work... showing off some of my murals.

Now on to the business of the day. I have noticed that not many people are commenting on my Foxy Friday posts anymore. Should I just quit that weekly posting or what? Doesn't much matter to me, it just gave me something to do on Fridays.

Lets put the last 3 together.

2009-07-17T06:33:00.001-04:00

OK, Best Sewing Tip #3.

You know it happens... You have a bobbin that you need to unwind for one reason or another. Either it is poorly wound or you need an empty bobbin for another color. Whatever the reason, use your spool pin to hold the bobbin and simply pull the thread and watch it unwind. OK maybe this isn't such a wonderful tip, unless your a dingbat like me who used to try to cut the thread off and/or unwind it in my hands. Hope it helps someone.

The worth of a nickle?

Best Sewing Tip #4:

I keep a nickle or 2 in my previously mentioned meat tray. I find these better than any flat head screwdriver when it comes to my sewing machine. They are just the right thickness for my screws with no long handle getting in the way. I can get just enough torque to turn the screws I would otherwise not be able to get at. I clean my machine a lot and I am not an idiot. I don't need to pay someone 60 bucks a week to clean it for me. The nickle helps.

And #5

Taylor's chalk sucks. At least in my opinion. I have never been able to do what I wanted to do with it. But I tell ya what does work... Artist charcoal. I use a soft lead pencil to mark on light colored fabrics. Dark color fabrics are another challenge all together.

Being from an art background I had these kinds of things laying around my house already. So one day I tried a WHITE charcoal pencil to mark my fabric and it worked like a charm. Well I ran out of that one, so I tried white colored pencil, and it works too. I doubt if you will get a crayola pencil to mark on you fabrics. I have moderately expensive colored pencils, they cost about $2.00 each. You can buy them and charcoal pencils separately at any art store. I use Ticonderoga or Prismacolor. You can sharpen them just like any other pencil, I have an electric sharpener. They make nice, easy to see, clean lines. Totally worth the 2 bucks. Hope that helps.

And then there is this...

2009-07-16T15:50:00.004-04:00

Best sewing tip #2

I use a foam meat package next to my machine to hold little odds and ends. These are great reusable things as far as I am concerned. Once they have been washed with hot soapy water, you can use them for all sorts of things. They have an edge on them that keep the little things in. They work great for paint, especially when kids are the painters.

Anyway I keep one next to my machine. I love the fact that I can stick little hand sewing needles in it and they stay. So next time you have packaged meat, wash and use the tray. Feel green for the day because you are recycling...

You might have missed this

2009-07-16T15:48:00.001-04:00

My best sewing tips #1

Today I thought I would repost a fun and useful bit of blogging... My best sewing tips.

But first I thought I would show off my nice clean studio. I need a new chair though because this one is too big.

And now for my first "Best Sewing Tips"

If you are working on a large project, pre-wind a couple of bobbins for quick changes when you need it. AND... Use your extra spool pin to store them right at hand.